Hello, I am currently in the middle of Journey To Ixtlan but I know eventually there is discussion about a double and I am curious if anyone here has any insight into an interesting phenomena I experienced as a child.
Severe abuse obviously has a profound effect on the human energy system and I recently had a strange memory come up while working on self healing. While being sexually abused as a child I had the memory surface that at one point I looked up and saw another me hiding in the closet watching me at that moment. I had a lot of powerful feelings of terror and WTF feelings as I remembered making eye contact with this other me in that moment. This other me seemed to be the same age as me at the time and look almost identical although it did seem to me that this other me had slightly darker features, resembling more of what I would look like as I got older. But again, it seemed like this other me was at the same time the same age as me at that time.
I plan to continue visiting this memory and processing the feelings that come up while experiencing it, both of the abuse and the powerful feelings I felt when I literally saw another me. I'm just curious if anyone here may have any insight into this and if this sounds like what the double may be. I am excited to continue the series of books and see if anything comes together for me but would appreciate any feedback in the meantime...
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Children run into their double all the time.
The reason adults don't is because they've developed that ugly internal dialogue filled with self-pity and grief.
The double is puffs of energy inside your egg, sharing the container with your "tonal awareness".
Here's a picture.
See the violet "puffs"? Those are your double in its raw form.
In the middle is "you", which can be visibly seen during darkroom practice, often as a yellowish energy skeleton.
But it will also make yellow puffs on occasion.
Those normally reside in your internal organs.
Which you can also visibly see!
There's no "sacred scrolls" in sorcery.
You get to do it ALL!
So we have no one to "worship".
There's no "Buddha" lording it over everyone.
In fact, we might easily exceed our teachers. Become more powerful than both Carlos and don Juan!
That's what happens in REAL magical systems. They evolve to be even more powerful.
Those purple puffs normally stay on the outside, where you see the darker purple "crusted" up against the edge of the egg.
Except in children they're all still free and "floaty".
When one of those puffs of purple touches the yellowish ones belonging to your normal consciousness, in the center, it picks up the "feelings".
Can't help it! They actually mix, and stick together.
Which you can also visibly see. You can scoop up one of those purple puffs with your hand, then place the other hand under, palm up, and slide out the bottom.
To reveal some yellow energy has stuck there.
So the purple has to be "very good friends" with the yellow puffs, because if they get close to each other they "swap spit".
To use a disgusting analogy.
And in normal people they're "enemies".
Because the purple puffs don't like that horrible "poor me... I get such a raw deal in life. How can people treat ME, like this???!!"
We're overflowing with that sentiment, because of the position of our assemblage points.
Not because we're "bad people", or "cursed by God".
It's just the times we live in.
So to learn sorcery, we shut off that yapping voice in our head and use darkness to try to visibly see those purple puffs.
It's what we do in here.
After a while the purple puffs flow freely inside that egg, and you can play with them.
But not until you "fix yourself", so that you don't stink so badly.
The purple won't come off the walls until you do.
Then one day, if you work hard, that purple stuff forms a "vehicle" for you.
A "blue ball of energy".
But it looks like you get swarmed by intense blue swirls. The purple changes to blue when it "offers" you to come inside and travel in your energy body.
Which can switch to the double at the drop of a hat.
But you'll also get to visibly see your double often practicing darkroom, and even "merge" with him to receive "silent knowledge". That's what "seeing" is. When your eyes have merged with the double's eyes, so that you have access to anything ever known.
Small children "sleep walk" because they switch to their double while asleep, and get up to explore.
I used to notice I was sleepwalking, decide it was really cool, so I went back to being unconscious.
But tried really hard to perceive what I was doing while walking around asleep.
Never could do both. Be conscious, and sleep walk at the same time.
Now keep in mind.
NOTHING you can learn in this subreddit does anyone any good.
Nor does anything you will read in those books.
They're supposed to motivate you to try what they instruct.
But the "facts" do nobody any good at all.
And yet, there are endless bad men running around pretending that knowing the facts from those books, makes them a sorcerer.
Some weird ego trip where they only care what others think, and don't actually believe magic is possible.
Or are too lazy to try to get the real thing.
So it's a waste of your time to just read the books, if you don't follow the instructions they give you.
And the first 4 books don't have those instructions. Except to learn not to talk to yourself in your head.
The rest is just about the "men of knowledge", and you DO NOT WANT to be one of those idiots.
They were greedy profiteers who never learned to be a seer, because there wasn't any profit in it.
Those gave rise to ALL shamanism in Mexico and the USA.
So "native american shamans" are also idiots for the most part.
And they hate Carlos.
And would become very angry if they saw what's in this subreddit.
Because in fact, they can't do it.
Just FYI.
Certainly "shamanism" is a lot better than any other religion.
But it's not what we do in here.
First 4 books?
Nonsense.
Remaining books?
No one ever follows instructions.
So no one learned in the last 50 years.
The spirits Little Smoke and Devil's weed created this subreddit after Carlos released them to us. Probably as an emergency measure, in case all of his human students faile.
Which they did.
Little Smoke and Devil's Weed allies got tired of humans messing things up.
So they created this place.
Thank you. Practice is all there really is to do