Clarification: I do NOT feel complete fulfillment from this accomplishment, only maybe half. More so, a yearning excitement to play more with the double. Fulfilling the childhood dream alone is hollow and feeds ego only and solidifies human form, this was just my specific experience. Reaching the double is really only the beginning, I've found.
I’ve lived as a member of the opposite sex for the past eleven years, but I approached the transformation using the writings of Carlos Castaneda that I had obsessed upon for the prior four years, and had hoped would allow me to alter my sexuality and personality. When my frantic, drug-fueled “practice” did not alter my sexuality to satisfaction, I decided to use everything I had learned about sorcery in order to become a woman so that I could really live and eventually marry a man.
Recently, I married my (then) boyfriend and fulfilled a childhood promise I made to myself, inadvertently freeing up enough energy to shift my assemblage point and reveal the double.
Perhaps it is not a very big deal considering contemporary society’s apparent focus on sex, sexuality, and personal identity in recent times, but it was enough of a total change to fixate the assemblage point to a new position, adjusting my perception by change in how I was perceived and how the world reacted and interacted with me.
As I was fulfilling the childhood promise I made to myself that I would grow up to be a woman and marry a man, something exciting finally happened: a feeling had been building that my lifelong, childhood dream was playing out in my ordinary, daily life. When that feeling peaked after building for months, one day I suddenly understood that my daily life was actually a dream that was being dreamed by the double.
To me, it felt like a real-life unfolding of what Don Juan called "The Story of the Dreamer and the Dreamed"!
That realization was marked by the feeling of finding my awareness divided, like I was looking out from two different perspectives: I could see from my normal place in the room I was in, continuing as I had been, but I also could see and feel the room from the perspective of being much larger, engulfing the room and beyond the house, but centered more so above where I was sitting, so that I was actually looking at myself sitting there as well.
The sensation of being wrapped around the sphere-like awareness that comprised the tonal gave me unreasonable certainty that it is really the nagual that dreams the tonal, by fixating it--the tonal is really just an assemblage point itself.
I reached the double from the tonal directly without really practicing dreaming, but I needed to have an at least somewhat clean link with intent already, and needed to have already developed basic skills of seeing from Darkroom practice before starting, at the very least being able to reach total silence at will. With this type of stalking, I had to have a clean enough connection with intent, because I was acting towards an outcome that had before never existed anywhere but the nagual.
Stalking the nagual from the tonal in this manner meant I was dismantling my current reality in order to build a new one guided by blueprints written by intent, only accessible with total silence.
Now, I find my awareness split between the two conglomerates of energy, and can “slide” between them, but this is just intent setting up the parameters that require I practice and play around with the double, because there really seems to be nothing else now that my grand childhood promise has been fulfilled and the double has become accessible in the tonal.
Thank you for creating, maintaining, and making publicly available the extensive, organized collection of resources of this sub–really. I understand I have to immerse myself now in tensegrity/magical passes, the last piece I didn’t quite understand until meeting the double, and finishing reading the books of the witches and "Magical Passes".
51 Comments
Interesting. I didn't understand the double dreaming your life part, but it was a curious read. Glad to see you feeling fulfilled and accomplished.
I often wonder what trans people and gay people would look like to a seer. There could be answers there in the luminous eggs. Maybe one day we will have seers like those in the olden times and get some answers.
Double is not one of the incarnations of his dream... a person can temporarily intend several incarnations with consciousness.
Spoiler Tag: we believe this post has strong claims made by an user with no history in the subreddit, and not enough indicators of actual practice.
We call that "Inventory Warrior". Check the Wiki for more information.
Keep in mind this is a reason for a ban.
oh damn-
Show your mate how to behave good over here!
ah, one of my last posts wasn't very good behavior at all but sure! i have some of the same goals as them even!
The goals aren't the problem at all.
This user is claiming to do very advanced things, wich will confuse beginners reading here.
true, we're gonna have to keep an eye on them ig, but am still considered a beginner y'know since i'm still having issues getting to the red zone so ig i'm part of that audience-😅
That knowledge makes you much more advanced than the poster, and with actual chances of learning.
The user wrote as completly "done" with the progress. That's always a red flag.
you have a point there- yeesh, you're right, that's indeed a red flag 😭
Why do you think I wrote off the progress as "done"? It feels like it's really only now begun!
But really, I'm sorry if the post interferes with the intent of the sub.
Just be careful with your words.
Everyone around Carlos focused on the beatiful words, and how to make them fit in their normal lifes.
So that they didn't have to work at all.
They pretended ordinary dreams were the Gates of Dreaming.
Mistook fantasizing as Stalking.
Felt like Impeccable Warriors to justify weird behaviour.
Better look at the J Curve diagram in the Wiki.
That's how sorcery looks!
Focus on the techniques and how to make them work.
The J-curve diagram has been incredibly helpful, thank you very, very much for that
o.o i want to achieve the same thing! glad to see someone else who is the same :o
Wanting is very good, it is a sign that you want to change, so you need to follow some of the instructions mentioned in reddit and experience it yourself and don't let this feeling of regret follow you.
mhm!
Thank you for reading and responding. I really wish you the best, and I hope you do whatever it takes to reach the double--I would take Darkroom practice over my path if I were given to regrets. Darkroom practice is so much more direct, and the tonal is so limited, unlike the nagual.
very true, i'll keep going! am just stuck between the deep green zone and the red zone for now-
If uve read all the books ull know that this feat is incredibly difficult to pull off. The death defier was only able to do it by literally turning their cocoon inside out, a maneuver we have no idea how to pull off. And even then they only were able to do this out of desperation, trying to escape the inorganic beings world. Good luck, if u do figure it out let us know the intricacies
yep, if i ever figure it out in a million years then i'd have to let y'all know!
sure hope it's possible to use SK to find that info- hopefully since it's supposed to have the knowledge of anything that happened then it's possible to find it out there??
From what I could gather it tends to be more complicated than that, SK is difficult to direct and by the time u reach it a lot of our normal motivations don't exist anymore. That being said I'm certain it could still be done
hard to direct is unfortunate, but it's awesome that it could still be done! >w<
There is a serious enphasis on having a presentation method for a reason, we need to retain some of the tonal when interacting with sk or it gets too abstract to make sense when we shift back to regular awareness
agreed!
Sounds more like an adjustment to yer tonal
Something impossible has not been mentioned in this memory recount.
The remarkable progress of human awareness in recent decades is expressible even with magical deviations.
Mastery over magic is intentionally emphasized here and it is highly emphasized...
Experiences that you and others acquire involuntarily are completely natural, beautiful and exciting, like a person using drugs and experiencing something special, but keep in mind that they did not reach it intentionally and cannot repeat the same event or intervene in it... Welcome.
I hope you can achieve the power to intervene in the magical flow of your life with practice and perseverance. Never lose hope. You practice sorcery with your eyes wide open, without any drugs or bias.
Strengthen your ability to perceive and control your own cognitive affairs... Unfortunately, inherent talent will not help you in this area, only perseverance in following the instructions will lead you to success. I wish success for you.
Thank you so much! I'm excited for the real journey to begin
Like everyone else, I have had some incredible experiences that have happened involuntarily, sometimes intentionally. It is important for newcomers to know that this space has been created so that you can learn to perform magical acts intentionally through practice. So keep in mind that recounting your exciting memories and experiences is just for display and pretense before you enter the dark room... It's not a bad thing, I also like to pretend sometimes, maybe even now... The important thing is to maintain honesty during practice. Let's follow the recommendations of the dark room so that we can at least be intentional sorcerers and not accidental ones. I read in a book once that we also have accidental viewers. And even sorcerers who are not aware that they are sorcerers. So it's not really strange for people to come in this direction because strange phenomena have happened in their lives. The important thing is to be able to successfully complete these difficult exercises.
It's very easy to start explaining situations in your life based on some system you've learned and make everything fit and be explained by that belief system. This position truly makes sense only when the knowledge is experienced and always with a sharpened ability to discern.
Without these earned qualities people simply put on a "fake" mask to fit into a category that serves them. It is convenient for them to just fit into a category. But like that they won't get in touch with their reality and responsibility of themselves.
One example is the romanticization of mental health. There is a social media frenzy about mental health and people are using the words "triggered", "ocd", "depression" ,"gender dysphoria", "adhd" like candy. How many of them actually experience what these words clinically imply? Did they get a formal diagnosis? And if they have something like that, do they do something about it?
From my experience in the field I will tell you that most of those who actually experience these symptoms do not say so. But there are real nice exceptions on social media that bring real awareness for mental health.
The rest who use these terminologies for themselves are simply hiding their own meanings behind such statements. And so they do not get in touch with their true situation and neither the responsibility that this has.
Reading your post, I think the same thing is happening. You can't change sex by moving the assembled point just like that by yourself. Like didn't you take hormones to transition, did you?
Nor do I believe that you can easily move from tonal to double without practice with just some realizations and extensive drug use.
Carlos who wrote the books worked like a dog practicing and was a double being under the energetic umbrella of the lineage. Took him years, blood tears and sweat to get where he did. Let's not kid ourselves now that you can do such things just like that. It's an insult to sorcery itself.
In the books he does not mention the countless hours of personal work he put in. But there are the words of Don Juan telling him that he is very hardworking and consistent.
There are also the words of the members of Don Juan's group saying that it took them a lot of effort and incredible battles with themselves to become sorcerers.
Thank you for taking time to have read my post and to respond thoughtfully.
Yes! And I had a "sex change", but you are right I didn't change my sex. I try to say "living as the opposite sex" to emphasize the action, because that seems to be what matters more.
Agreed. I should have emphasized originally that this is the culmination of work over 14 years, not something achieved passively. I spent the first four years saturating myself with the books, as well as drugs, in desperation. I then used everything I could remember and tasked myself to continue to remember in order to make a life as an unremarkable woman for eleven years, without saturating myself in drugs. Something culminated, and now with the double, I need to practice extensively just the same, maybe more.
Can you detail how you move from the tonal to the nagual? What is your process? Is it repeatable?
I don't want to insert my own inventory of the actual system shared by Carlos, Florinda and Taisha. I can explain the sensations and experiences for what I had originally called the tonal and nagual, but it's not helpful if I give those collections of feelings and sensations a name here and now, on this sub.
That said, the sensations and feelings which I had previously and personally assigned to reaching the double begin as a warm tingling that focused on my genitals. That feeling is coupled with a sensation of a rush, as though my body were hurling somewhere. As this happens, a hazy, superimposed view appears, like double vision, and I find myself with a sensation of being slightly outside my body, surrounding something that feels round. If I focus on the feeling of being outside my body, and focus on making that feeling into a point, which I can feel more solidly as a ball I can press my body against, and I focus even more, the ball "feels" reflective. The more I relax focus in any way, the more I start to physically feel as though I am in my original, flesh body, wherever it was when it started the whole process. This description is as much of what I can repeat. I'm not practiced much beyond this.
I was going to make a post that talks about all these "death defiers" gifts, and why they where gifts, and not abilities. Basically sorry to disappoint you but i reasently found out how you need to alter sertain things to even have the possibility to shift the AP like that.
I am talking about trading energy with IOBs for prolonged periods of time. Also the woman position requires you to wrap your energy body inside out, literally. That means you would actually have to do so, let alone without any death defier. You would also need to lose your human form, which i might actually make a post explaining what i reasently found that might be associated with the human form.
I might still post the weird mess of a mentally disturbing post i made, but that is left to be seen. Short, you need to keep trading energy with IOBs.
Oh btw, how long have you practiced Darkroom?
People who are new to work need to be guided and not questioned or criticized. You can even charm a person with a specific goal that your methods can help him... Carlos Castaneda lived in a situation where people's desires were much more material, but now there are people who are lost and wandering in the world and tend to be on the path of freedom. . We can help them with the correct sentences, even if they are pretending not to have one. With gentleness, passion can be revived to some extent
People who are new to work need to be guided and not questioned or criticized. You can even charm a person with a specific goal that your methods can help him... Carlos Castaneda lived in a situation where people's desires were much more material, but now there are people who are lost and wandering in the world and tend to be on the path of freedom. . We can help them with the correct sentences, even if they are pretending not to have one. With gentleness, passion can be revived to some extent
I started practicing gazing in darkness and daylight about 14 years ago, simultaneously with recapitulation, but there was no formal structure to it, like Darkroom.
I'm very grateful it's been developed, shared, and is practiced, it's infinitely more direct than what I did.
Where did you get the idea for gazing? I only learned about it when I found this subreddit.
I learned from the books, though I'm unsure from which specific books
It’s okay, was just curious where you got it from in general. What were you looking for in the dark? What were you focusing on? Especially in the beginning.
Is this a troll?
It's not the first time I hear people memorize all the terms from the books and use them whenever they can. It often happens that a person adopts only the parts of this knowledge that suit him.
One guy took the idea of not-doing as the ideology of his life, thinking he was spiritual. He say I don't do anything all day, I just sit and play games, I don't participate in any kind of work because it's doing.
He romanticizes himself and his idea and live in the illusion that rejecting reality and not participating in basic life activities will lead him somewhere. A man cannot progress because of his narcissism, he spins in a loop of phrases and ego busting.
This is either fantasizing or advanced experience through great effort. Sounds like fantasy to me.
Thank you for taking time out to read and respond to my post. I definitely wish it were easier and all of the knowledge could suit me, but you're right, it definitely doesn't. I have SO much work to do.
I may have missed it, but did you mention how hard it is to produce and keep silence?
Thank you for reading and responding.
I didn't mention the tremendous, sustained effort it takes me to reach and remain in total silence--I'm not terribly great at maintaining it for long, anywhere from seconds to maybe 20 minutes, though I've never timed it. It isn't usually too hard to induce at all, though, now I just "place" intent at the end of the J-curve and that is very, very helpful.
You really need to read more here, do practice and write less here.
Let go of what you think you have accomplished if you want to stay here. Do darkroom and really practice silence.
Clearly you have no idea what your talking about. It's very obvious to the people that seriously practice and move on the J curve that you are just saying these terms but you have zero experience.
I think you didn't understand what I told you on my first comment. You are using terminology that you have no idea what it really means in reality. You haven't gone to the double, you haven't any silence at all. You haven't even scratched the surface of the J curve and it shows from how easily you pretend to be at the end of it and that " silence isn't so hard to induce at all".
Let go the world of your mind and come down to the real word.
If you could really do these things you wouldn't say such hot air words. How do I know? We have here someone who does have that level and all the really experienced practitioners long before you came.
You were warned by the mods. And I don't believe they will be kind like me. This kind of fantasy content just encourages new people to think that they have made it too and pollutes this place with fake achievements.
Thank you for clarifying, I understand now.
Oh hi, lgehet11
wazzap
There was an attempt
FR
So does anyone remember where don Juan spoke of the power in wearing the clothing of the opposite sex?