Question in the title? I'm so confused right now. I dabled with all kinds of "spirituality" my whole life but isolating and going within has always healed and guided me. I always go into stillness and darkness and than voices with different voice flavours guiding me along the paths of my own inner makeup so to speak. Guiding me to do things physically. But it's not just in meditation anymore but constant and I believe I kind of broke through a whole lot of fcking walls within myself but also existence itself at the same time? Like I can be anything or anyone at any given time but I want to be this me right here right now to experience what I experience and do what I do because of some grant scheme that I'm writing together with the rest of existence all at the same time. Like Im teaching myself the plan and the abilities I need to do what I came here to do. But I need the vocabulary of humanity to unlock it. Like I'm a manifested pattern screamer manifested on this plane to bring change on this planet in this point in time to do something that is benefitting all of existence itself in the end without existence itself knowing who I am but forgot it and is re remembering me and my role in each and every sentient beings being so to speak? Maybe I'm just mad or all of it is true and is just need to continue to unravel to knot in my head? Who knows? But it's interesting to think about! Any insight's into this?
4 Comments
Don't take this too harshly, but you have too much self importance. Part of what is cool about this place is that we are able to be fully honest without "hurting feelings". And those that can't take it are quickly noticed, and therefore cast out. If you really wanna progress from where you are, you gotta cast out these notions of "reincarnated important person" right away. We are brutally honest with each other here, because we all wish to actually continue the work rather than just circle jerk.
First things first though, have you actually read any Castaneda?
Mod here, it sounds like you are processing a lot of new ideas at the moment. I recommend reading around in here and reading the books if you have not already. From the title alone I can tell that you have a lot of ideas from outside systems (such as being a reincarnated old seer). Don't let your self importance get the best of you.
Take some time. Ground yourself. This is not the place to have the kind of conversation that you are hoping for but it will still be here when your mind isn't pulling you in so many directions at once.
No, it's just what I felt compelled to post in all honesty. Like sort of wanting to tell the truth about the insights I got from reading a post from this sub I believe it's called that got recommended to me in my Reddit feed. I never read anything from the guys mentioned in this channel description. It's like I read this one post on here talking about the different entities one can encounter in this so called dark room which I have no knowledge about whatsoever. But the stuff that was written in there kind of resonated with something inside of me that compelled me to write what I wrote there. That's why at the end I was questioning there if i was mad and you acknowledged that. And I'm actually glad you did. Because that is just insane what I wrote there. I will go and clear my head from this nonsense immediately thank you for your insight. I'm just someone that has been searching for answers his whole life that he couldn't even formulate. I think I'm autistic or brain damaged from my dad hitting my mom in the stomach when she was 7 months pregnant with me and stuff like that. and I always try to find solutions for healing and understanding. But everytime I think I learn something new it's most of the time wrong. I'm sorry for disturbing all of you her. I'm just gonna refrain from bothering you guys and just gonna try to learn from y'all. And please don't recommend therapy. I just get new diagnosis and no solutions. No medication is working. No spiritual practice I tried. And it's not like giving up after first try. No going with one thing for at least a year and checking myself and and talking and getting feedback but if after a year of treatment something isn't working I'm at my wits end and have to try something else. And i am at my wits end. But I'm not gonna give up . If the only thing I will ever accomplish in live is figuring out what's wrong with me and using that knowledge I gather along the way to share and to help others is with it and if that's all I'm ever gonna amount to in this life. that's okay. Seems I was delusotional in my head. I wish you all Guys all the best in your endeavours. Hope you find your answers. I'm sorry for going to continue you reading your posts here to gain knowledge without redistribution. But I desperately need answers. I hope you all can find it in your hearts to forgive me for that. For forging ahead alone.
Oh it was the cross pollination Post. Woke up halve asleep opened the app got wide awake shaking from excitement I guess and than wrote what I wrote. Like being "possed" by another part of myself? Or something else? I don't know but I'm gonna read up first before ever posting something uninformed again. If I should posting. Depends on if I gain any new useful insights for you guys I guess. I don't want to turn this into a therapy session. Sorry.