Ease of magic at night, long distance instantaneous interactions, more

This is a comment I tried to put under Dan's post "contamination of the double" but wouldn't fit. I think it is valuable enough to share as a post. Re-read and added some more. ----->

Its very ironic you post this. This "synchronicity" has been happening in this sub a lot. I was just thinking about how much easier it is to not think and make progress at night, and was preparing myself for tonight. Its very vulnerable and exciting.

I naturally find myself not wanting to go to sleep. Usually when I wake up in the morning I feel empty, while the night before (just recently for example) I was feeling my death, which immediately felt like it recapitulated me a little, terrified and humbled the shit out of me, made me more honest, fixed priorities, all from just a little bit of that genuine heartfelt fear.

Around that time I was connecting to the people on a debate I was watching on YouTube, getting absolutely clear feedback that our awareness was somehow connected. Getting all kinds of cool things to happen.

Here's what happened guys. It's nothing absolutely extraordinary, but it happens consistently and at any time of day, and it seems meaningful.

When I'm watching things online I naturally find myself trying to "touch" the people I'm listening to. And get feedback that, while usually not significant at all while behaving naturally, if I recognize it as a supposedly "impossible" connection, it becomes glaringly obvious that the laws of physics are absolutely being broken, and my mind gets to work very excitedly.

It was a debate with Alex Jones and others. Alex Jones seemed to be fairly receptive to it, if anyone wants to try this. Dont fucking have bad intent. Counter intent is shared between us naturally, so don't shit on yourself if your own fear or judgement or self hate reduces their mood, it doesn't HAVE to affect them like that, it just does for some reason, but dont try to hurt people. I mean obviously, but seriously.

I always see this effect of "centering" or "clarifying" on certain people, and looking back, it doesn't work as well on those heavily socialized or in a social framework. News reporters, politicians, etc. But it looks like they are temporarily snapped out of something, and it's like they want to see better. Best way I can call it. Im assuming thats just the effect of my own desire and intent, but maybe that is a result of being touched in this way, by anybody. Idk

I was "unconsciously" trying to nudge the debaters to be realer and see the elephant in the room. I didn't mean to do it. But I wanted to and recognized that I did it.

I was almost, from sheer boredom and dissatisfaction with the topic, trying to help them see that what actually matters is (simply a vague attempt to word the reality) that we're all weak, disconnected, severely entrenched in our personal beliefs, not shining, and not moving and communicating more like natural human beings.

As It continued and different peoples facial expression suddenly change when I accidently, basically, just want to fucking see and be with them, genuinely, I had that brush with death, and it utterly terrified the shit out of me. I could barely believe that I could die and that I was feeling it coming. I was squirming with my entire being and trying so hard to do something, anything at all, because I desperately did not want to die.

But as and right after this was happening, I was snapped into focus with crystal clarity and it became abundantly obvious and impossible not to "be myself". To care and move and think about what I actually want to. It became very easy to eliminate bullshit. The sheer emotional weight and seriousness immediately clarified all of the thinking and worrying, and I just wanted to live, so SO badly. I feel that wellspring of sadness mixed with the desire to live and want to do, anything at all, even taking about it.

Another useful tool like Dan mentions about the first breath upon the assemblage point shifting far enough, remembering the experience of that breath making it easier for you to be willing to "go there" again.

After feeling all of that intensity and basically not giving a single shit about shit. I seemed to "make aware" everyone in the room, how important it was, the fact that they could, and were probably going to, die.

I heard breathing in the room and it sounded far realer. Like i was hearing the breathing of people on an ancient battleground. This sense of anxiety.

Right when I had that intent, to share my experience of the brush with death, one of the women who spent a lot of time looking at the camera immediately (with the timing I see constantly in omens), like it was perfectly crafted for me to see it, not recognize, but be AWARE of it naturally, did a head nod, like she was saying "yup, that's the right answer".

Clearly it was unconscious. The way bodies tend to move and react perfectly to things. Someone scratching their nose when a fucked up thought tries to enter their head. Coughing when their throat itches for some specific metaphysical reason, even the way we gaze at specific things for "seemingly no reason". It's intent and the fluidity/connection of the emanations, and I'm assuming from how this seemingly keeps happening and more and more rapidly, how limitless awareness is at exploring them.

Clearly everyone there, does not want to die, far more than they want to debate something that in the face of that reality, is bullshit, and very close to completely unnecessary. But there just sitting there, wasting valuable time.

Here's the interesting part. Right after seeing that, like I always do because I have unbelievable focus on magic, I recognized it, and had this knee jerk overwhelming reaction, and "discarded" it.

Her face, LITERALLY, I can not stress this enough, looked like it had lost something. And I had the connecting link to realize, oh yeah, I seemed to have touched her in some extremely important way, but where did it go. FUCK. what was it. MOTHERFUCKER.

And right when I wanted it enough again, to overcome what kind of feels like and what im going to assume is this socialization and intent to believe im immortal, or never ever actually consider my death. It came back to me. I said to myself something like, "oh yeah, the fact that we're all going to die is important" and she regained about 70% of what I saw on her face moments before. It made me happy and I felt more secure.

Later while I was continuing to feel a purpose that aligned with bringing magic into the world (something MUCH easier to do at night). I was, like I do a lot recently, wondering about how my dogs could be immortal. I projected that belief onto my dog, kinda just decided to see him living forever, and he started SHINING. He looked so happy and real. That was the best story I had seen in weeks.

Often I look away from my dogs and look back, do double takes (HAA!, take that Mr. double take) trying to be realer and clearer and especially to love them, from this desperate desire to be able to "activate" myself, and I notice very clearly by their reaction and secondarily by my own recognition of my physical state, feelings and intent, when I have succeeded at that. Because they immediately get happier and seem to glow, and I simply feel more like myself. And they literally seem to egg me on. And cry immediately when it gets counter intended or I, for whatever reason, stop trying.

Something I figured out is that we don't love and connect and be happy and especially do MAGIC like, by all rights, we should always be doing. For 2 primary reasons. I'd love to hear anyone's feedback on this because of course, how on Earth do you put into words something so overwhelmingly brilliant.

We don't want to move in a way which casts us out of the tribe, something we already know and feel all the time when we hide away in various ways.. But the one that has a greater total impact on our behavior, and is extremely difficult to recognize (I think we're not supposed to be able to recognize it) is that we don't want to fear death even more than we already do. It's much harder to "lay down and die" when you're in love with your life and everyone and everything you've ever known, bodily feeling it all leave you, permanently, when your time has come. So we don't always keep it with us.. We need to be able to function and face the possibility of death, everyday. Not be constantly crying because of the belief that everything we know and feel is going to cease to be. Or incredibly worried that something we do as a natural desire of the heart might get us killed.

Especially when you consider, that factually, dying is a choice. A choice that practically everyone makes unconsciously because they can't handle the pain and what they would have to become to not die. Extremely real. Extremely THEM. Facing the cold lonely world of living brutally honestly and openly, and without socialization robbing your intent and willingness to explore reality. Constantly having your dreams stunted because you or other people in those dreams are lacking or judgemental or cruely alone.

Which is, I suspect, why sorcerors seem to tend to have an affinity for nature and abandoning personal history.

I feel calmer and safer in society, and more socially connected at the physical level, but far more truly alone. Ironically, the exact opposite is true in nature and at night when I'm trying to do magic. If i walked into some woods at night right now, i would probably start shaking and accidentally do dark room and, since that brush with death, probably recap, without thinking about it. But also, trying seems to be the wrong approach. It happens automatically.... SEEMINGLY. I just don't always know how to not TRY at getting something I want. It's honestly hilarious but also so irritating I could cry. It almost just has to happen solely because I willed it.

Among also the reason for everybody dying, is the sheer belief and counter intent against anything to the contrary, the vivid and extremely persistent belief that we live in a physical reality in which everything living, also dies.

Bullshit. We CAN die. Which is why we can "feel our death" and use it as a teacher to not be full of unnecessary concerns and to not make mistakes.

But after all this, and feeling my death multiple times in more low-key ways, and analyzing those happenings, I went to sleep and woke up.

And didn't want to do anything at all. Even tho I was dreaming of all of humanity being immortal.

It's like all that temporarily vanished. It's like silence but not the good kind. More like an unwillingness to engage with daily behaviors because of an unwillingness to feel and behave honestly in the waking world.

When I don't even go to sleep, which is doable because I'm 23, have few expenses from living with my parents, and from being very excited about ANY progress in terms of silencing my dialogue and seeing cool things, moving better (I guess not doing). I go out into the world to go do jobs or get groceries what have you, and I feel like an alien. Like I can move without unconsciously considering how other people believe and behave. And succumbing to the pressure to be like them without even recognizing it.

It's like I keep some of that energy from the night before. And I'm more willing to simply do what I wanna do.

I think its inside all of us to be like that all the time, but those artifial concerns and boring, intrusive intentions cant be occupying you. Which is very easy to do (maybe even for the best) when you have to knuckle down and go to work.

Which is why I made my last post here "speed and efficiency". I shit on myself a little in the comments, but only because im needy, depressed, and very controlling about it. Not because its a bad idea. I think that logically its an extremely good idea. It just realistically cant happen if nobody is willing to go do it, from not feeling like it.

But something i learned when i was younger and forced myself to eat very healthy, is that just because you dont feel like doing something, to the point doing it makes you immediately feel VERY weird. It might, in a very short time, not only give you a massive confidence boost, but get you feeing far better than you did previously, reinforcing your capacity to do more.

It just has to be a decision that is ultimately good for you. And you have to know that its good for you. Otherwise your body or your double, dont know which, goes "why the fuck am i doing this, I just want to go home".

People experience this all the time with going to the gym or to work, yet come out of it feeing a lot better. Its incredibly ironic but I guess fortunate and in a way, feels extremely good and empowering, that we are capable of controlling our path through life in a way which ultimately changes who we are for the better. Perhaps that is what we would call, wether or not you're doing it "well" or not, the tonal dreaming the dreamer.. that sense of rationality and purpose Dan keeps reminding us about. It can do tremendous good for you and your double. It just works better when they know each other.