fuck, i'm in a pickle i'm scared as hell it's very goood but that's the problem
if i dont do something now, my intent to do sorcery will turn to counter intent so my life is literally on the line
what i have to do is simple
become miserable
i dont know where all this fear about becoming miserable came from but i think the solution is recapitulation
of course it is.
yesterday while i was doing one of the recapitulation passes, all the colors around me started to turn green and purple
i dont do darkroom because i'm scared as hell but that's why i have the opportunity to go really far, like a leap on the j curve, even past the red line
i know what i must do but i'm scared
can anyone help me out?
i just need some more information
i've been reading through so much material but now im bored of reading and i'm definitely now almost using it to distract myself and waste time which is starting to feel like counter intent but, i have no counter intent
but because it feels like it, i could be punished by my actual intent
that fact doesn't scare me because i'm confident in my actual intent
but what scares me is becoming miserable
ah, fuck it
i'll have to become miserable
but i need more information, can anyone provide me with?
i need to know what next?
what's the goal after i start to see much more of the second attention?
iOB's have been intensely scrutinizing me for a very good while
i've ignored them every step of the way i dont think i can ignore them any further
last night, they did something again very typical of course!
but yes, they got a frightful reaction out of me
¡ imagine they were like "yea we thought so, see how scared you are, acting all tough baby man" that particular 10B is definitely the one that's been on my ass since i was little i'm so used to it and it's so familiar to me
we're practically friends but i'm like totally ANTI social because of my fear so that's why i want to know,
what next after i start to see more of the second attention?
because it's been right there in my face for a couple years and if i do just a bit more, i will open a gate for good
but i dont know what to do with all of it.
sure, i imagine i'll keep on practicing but how do i manage my life when it becomes like Daniel Lewtons right down the J curve seeing a storm every second of the way
i'm wasting time and it's insulting to all the power i've gathered along the years of practicing and my strong connection to my intent
that's the fear behind me
it's bigger than the fear in front of me
i assume and imagine having help with this is why this lineage was gifted to us in the first place
• Let me phrase my question properly
What’s the goal when i move my AP far enough to see much more of the second attention?
What do i do next? just get used to it?
12 Comments
Your assemblage point is shifted a bit horizontally and it's not in the most favorable position for learning sorcery. It needs to get back to the middle, so it can move down freely.
It's odd how that can happen and we can't detect it.
I like to give the example of being at the first gate of 4 gates dreaming, and needing to realize it's a dream and look at your hands.
One time perhaps 30 years ago I got the vague idea I was in a dream, but when I thought about it, it couldn't be.
I could remember back for years in that dream!
That's understandable, since all of our realities, even our waking one, are just flows of sensations and feelings from the sea of the emanations, based on which bundle our beam of awareness is focused on.
One reality isn't actually any more real than the other, that's just a prejudice.
A prejudice that's hard to shake, because we got ourselves stuck in the physical matter of this particular bundle of emanations, and you can't bring that with you when you move to another.
It's part of the whole interplay in a specific group of emanations.
So sorcerers do their best to escape that, even while moving their assemblage point far away. They kind of just have to be "tethered" ultimately to that physical matter back at the top of the J curve.
But there I was in that dream believing I was a businessman farmer, who moonlighted driving an ice cream truck since you can't earn a good living farming, and I was married to a cow named Mirabel, heading down the sidewalk for the market to show her there.
(continued)
It made such perfect sense at the time, that I thought it was impossible it could be a dream.
But I remembered the golden rule of dreaming: If you have any doubts, then it's a dream.
So I took 3 steps away from the cow, and my assemblage point moved a bit.
And I realize it was such obvious nonsense, it would be a good lesson from now on. The position of the assemblage point not only changes your reality, but also your idea of what makes sense, and what doesn't.
I got to see that last night, but this time in waking dreaming.
I had reached silent knowledge, was viewing "the wall" looking for videos in the air, but this time on my side. I'd already been practicing for hours sitting up.
I wanted to view a video, and then "zip" directly into a dream world of the past.
I found myself on a space station, holding Yoda's lightsaber.
I'd been watching too many Star Wars cartoons!
But I was utterly convinced the situation was real. And a space pirate came on the monitor and told me that Yoda lost that long ago. And until he got it back and used it to defeat a the pirate king, he wouldn't be complete as a Jedi.
Except, that didn't make sense. Yoda is 800 years old now, I reasoned, and if he was "incomplete" from when he was young, it sure didn't show in his performance.
I sat up in the real world on my bed, reached for my ice tea and took a drink.
While I was sitting up the waking dream didn't fully fade. My ice tea was on a console cup holder in the space station, even though "in the real world" it was next to my bed on a table.
I lay back down, examined all the "facts", and concluded I really did need to get that lightsaber back to Yoda.
So I got out of bed to go to the bathroom before seeking out Yoda, worried Cholita would be me to it.
And once I had walked 3 feet, I realized what was going on.
My assemblage point had shifted sideways too far.
Awake!
And it was undetectable to me!!
I checked to see how that was possible by waving my hand in the darkness, and found it created sparkles and flowing purple with jet blackness.
So I was still somewhere in the orange zone on the J curve. Heightened awareness it's called in the books.
In that state if you don't move around much, you can in fact drift sideways into phantom realms, and not be able to detect it.
It was very much the same as the dream where I was married to a cow.
Taisha always talked about the "beam of awareness" focusing only on the "me spot" in the middle, between the feet.
That's what she was referring to. That we concentrate on a specific subsection of a larger bundle of emanations, and lose the ability to move away from that as needed.
You've got the same problem right now. Tensegrity can fix that, but it has to be done with the right attitude.
Basically you need to "step away from the cow" a few feet.
Move your beam of awareness to a more favorable location.
Unfortunately, you have to be able to "see" this visually, or it doesn't make much sense or seem true.
Unless... you consider those two examples I gave, which were anything but imaginary or visualized or pretended.
I really was married to a cow... And Yoda did indeed need my help back at the space station.
Dan have you watched the Acolyte yet? Really interesting how they seem to be pitting the Jedi against this smaller band of rogue witches who use “The Thread” as opposed to “The Force”, I was wondering what you might think of it all.
I love it!
I also like the hundreds of years ago Jedi's on weird ego trips.
The "sleeping" Jedi who just floats with an impenetrable shield around him.
And the vain Jedi.
I've heard eventually Ahsoka, which is with real people, will travel back to the first Jedi. The ones who discovered the force.
It'll be interesting to seed if they try to mirror the Olmecs at all.
Though, reading the books wouldn't make it obvious that's actually the source.
There would have to be some who were extremely interested in Castaneda, to know about the Olmecs.
Or one of Soledad's apprentices.
You may have already noticed this but during an episode of Andor I shot straight up out of my seat when I saw that in Luther’s weird antique store in the background they had that double headed jade Kukulkan from the British Museum. SOMEBODY working on these shows is deeply in the know.
Nope, I missed it.
Where's the next season of Andor?
Seems like they decided it wasn't popular enough to waste resources on?
I mean, they came out with perhaps 3 or 4 new Star Wars spinoffs.
Why not finish that one first?
I believe they just wrapped up filming Andor 2, should be out early 2025 if I recall correctly
I'm still waiting to find out what it's about...
Andor 2? It’s basically just going to fill in the timeline of everything leading up to the beginning of the Rogue One film- so the trajectory taking Andor from criminal, convict, bandit to full blown revolutionary. More politically oriented than direct references to sorcery but I’m always on the lookout for the sorcery subtext to shine through
Re: changes in position of your AP affecting reality but also what makes sense and what doesn't;
I am assuming this is true even within a particular zone? Like in the blue, I feel like there is a spectrum of how much people believe the shit we're fed in this ordinary world vs. maybe if you spent some of your time in the green, that same shit doesn't make as much sense to you
Yes, it's true at all levels.
And what makes sense in one zone, isn't the same in the next.
People who make it steadily to the red zone for a few months, are literally transformed by it. Not quite as "horrible" anymore. Likely permanently.
A horizontal shift is called a "mood swing" or "stress induced hallucination" in the blue zone. Or just a "feverish vision". Or even, "on your period".
In the green zone it can be called, "enlightenment", or "higher states of consciousness", and lead to horribly egotistical behavior such as Buddhist Masters or Famous Yogis.
In the red zone, it manifests physically as shapeshifting and creation of real, alternate realities right there in your face. At that point people just won't accept that it's a continuum of the same thing, and they'll call it a psychosis or schizophrenic hallucinations, despite that the medical definitions of those states don't allow for that claim.
In the orange zone, you get phantom realms. Which you can literally walk off into, on a "good" day. People are kinder about that sort of thing, calling you a "medium" or something with a more positive connotation.
Shapeshifting is the hated zone! Feared by all, and loathed by those who only make it to the green zone, yet want to steal money from others based on that being the "ultimate".
None of this is vague or theoretical once you learn to do it.
It all happens automatically to ANYONE, who manages to move their assemblage point.
It's as reliable as magic mushrooms, once you can move it on your own.
thank you Dan, your response is exceedingly helpful to me. in fact, i was able to cure my dilemma.
i realized the unfavorable position of my AP had come about by a fixation that was indeed just like the dreams you described and i’ve taken a step back from that pony,
it was all too stimulating and gave a strong concoction of sensations that we were traveling somewhere all the while standing in the same position.
between the time of my upset about this and now, i’ve been able to gather that i have indeed done much dreaming for years now. much of which i was unable to account for due to having my attention locked in on this “noise” of the first attention.
i had filled in many gaps with my making-sense mechanisms and at this moment of thinking about it, i feel like a lunatic with all the nonsense i conjured about the world im experiencing.
i’ve been reminded that the only way to live for a warrior is impeccably and thus ceasing my overindulgence in that dream that was taking me somewhere in the middle of nowhere.
i haven’t been “sleeping” for a couple days. by shifting my attention, i’ve become increasingly seamlessly awake.
the problem was really that i was indulging in conjuring so much meaning that i was intoxicated with it, drunk to a stupor on abjections and abstractions. i had created this perfect simulation to stimulate the continuity of my tonal awareness in this first attention. ofcourse !
i’ve been missing out on all the awesome dreaming i’ve actually been occupied with. i’ve caught it from time to time a couple times on off days when i was beat and fatigued about the world and any world at all. haha!
some other important things have stood out to me, which i’m glad to have caught. by re-imbursing my attention to my intent and emphasizing balance.
i will relay them here as i collect enough energy to recollect my memories of the second attention.