It's been about three weeks since I started practicing regular inner silence. I began with just 15 minutes a day, gradually increasing the time (now it's about an hour, which I continue to extend).
Within the first few days, I began noticing small blue sparks, they looked like broken pixels on a monitor. I didn't pay much attention to them until one day... Well, I was just lying on my bed, staring at the wall and thinking about tomorrow's stuff (it wasn't my practice time), when suddenly I saw a bright blue light on the wall. I thought it was a firefly, but it spun before my eyes and disappeared. I took the liberty of interpreting this as a sign to continue my practice, because i decided that magic exists.
The second incident happened a week after the first. I was preparing to start my gazing practice, holding silence stones in my hands and about to start gaze at the wall. I didn't even had time to silence my inner dialogue for a second, when suddenly the wall in front of me became... LIQUID!! The uneven texture of my wall, with all its bumps and crumbs, seemed to breathe and flow from one pattern to another, like in the beginning of a mushroom trip. I sat there in fear, ears burning, thinking my terrible posture had finally got me, I pinched some vessel in my neck causing a stroke and this is how I'm dying. Ha-ha. I didn't know what else to think.
The third incident happened very recently, as I finally got my darkroom. Three days ago, I saw white waves inside it. I got scared, thinking it was an IOB, and asked it to behave nicely, but it just left. Just in case, I got scared and left too.
Yesterday, I saw my first puff, although very faintly. I tried to put it into my stomach, I don't know if my attempt was successful. I didn't feel anything, I just really wanted to eat afterwards. That's all I have for now...
6 Comments
Good you kept working at it!
Sounds like a good start to me, but I'd rather hear you were doing some tensegrity too.
You can really get twisted all out of shape, if all you do is engage in "seeing".
And your double just loves the tensegrity, so you'll get more help from it, if you do some.
These days I get to sit in darkness and gaze continuously at the Nagual. At amazing views such as you see in my pictures.
But if I neglect tensegrity, I start to feel the imbalance in my physical body.
And anything you perceive during darkroom is at the very least, a "seeing" preview.
Just remember the MAIN THING is to reliably be able to get some magic to happen daily, using silence, and then to make the magic stronger each day, using even deeper silence.
It's a feedback test.
Kind of like, if you had a small boat that was tied to the shore, you could practice "rowing" but you wouldn't learn much.
You need the boat to be moving, to master rowing.
Real magic also keeps us honest with ourselves.
Although people still lie to others about their experiences.
Fortunately there's no real attention or profit to be had in this subreddit, so the ones fabricating experiences go elsewhere fairly soon.
Oh, I do tensegrity every time before I practice, i forgot to say. But I definitely should do it longer... What do you mean twisted all out of shape?
I do have an issue with reliability! The bright blue light never returned, the wall looked like a regular wall the next day, and I had to gaze at it for half an hour for it to start moving, and the movements were much more subtle than the previous day... Only puffs are reliable, in terms of me being able to see them a second time...
Reliability should only be anticipated as far as "something" happening each session.
Not for a specific thing.
You'll be plagued by being unable to repeat specific things until you stabilize Silent Knowledge, which is the purple zone. Very far away from where you are at this time.
But that's how seers always learn!
With little "shows" put on for them by the seer they're learning from. Always unable to do that themselves. And the shows rarely repeat, if at all.
In our case, we just have "the spirit" as our teacher. I suppose it imitates what happened in the past, automatically. So it copies the past teaching methods, when it's the only teacher available.
But don't worry.
It's best things don't repeat, or you might turn to "practical magic" and try to figure out something bizarre to do with the brilliant blue dots.
It feels like something's wrong at first because you can't repeat anything, but later you learn that's precisely the fastest way to learn sorcery.
There's just SO MANY things you need to see, before it all starts to make sense.
The puffs are different because they are more "real". They're pieces of your energy body.
So those tend to be quite reliable.
Once you have them swirling around the room.
It's what you can do with them, that won't be reliable for a long time.
Shown all over in pictures in this subreddit.
But later, they DO become quite reliable.
Except at that point, it's how much time it takes to move from the blue line to the purple zone, that makes it hard to repeat things.
They repeat "way over there".
But not in between.
As for "bent out of shape", that's too hard to explain.
And I have Cholita around, so I never know what's really causing it.
She blocked the bathroom from my use for a week, and I had to learn to take sponge baths at work.
Which paid off!
But no one mentioned that to her. So I can't see how she planned it unless it's that old witch she's occasionally with, when she's in her double.
Then I snuck in the bathroom one day when she wasn't guarding it at 3AM, to take a sponge bath in there with hot water.
So she stuffed rags down the drain, and completely stopped up the bathtub.
She "disabled" the bath so I couldn't even sneak in there and take sponge baths.
And then playing dumb, insisted I had to call a plumber.
But I have one of those "home routers" so I tried to unstop it myself, and found the rags down there.
So I left her a pile of her own cash (a gift she turned down so I keep it in a drawer) and told her she had to call the plumber herself, since she's stopping it up on purpose.
A couple of months back she stopped up the sink, and I found this in it. So far down I don't think she expected I could figure it out. It could be that the other one is also down the drain, and so far it even stops up the bathtub. They're eventually connected.
Cholita's sock...
incredible progress! may i ask specifically how you went about practising inner silence if you don't mind? did you do something similar to meditation but without concentrating on something? what was your method specifically?
also, what was your experience of inner silence? (prior to the visuals) - were you thinking at all? i assume you had silenced your inner dialogue (no verbalizing) but were you thinking of anything at all? or was it just blank?
I use silence stones https://www.reddit.com/r/castaneda/comments/buzmza/silence_stones/
I'm trying to remember how silence feels in those microseconds I manage to maintain it, and I recall and "re-enter" this feeling to extend it. I "imprint" silence state in my consciousness, trying to repeat this state to make it last longer. I focus on the sensation, feeling of silence to intensify it. It's hard for me to explain.
For example, if you have a cut/wound and you concentrate on the pain, the pain becomes stronger. Then, later when you healed, if you recall that sensation of pain, it's as if you're truly feeling it again. Something like that...
I don't think I'm thinking when I'm silent, maybe I do, but I don't notice it. More like just blank.