Hi, I’ve been aware and interested in this subreddit for nearly two or three years. I believe it to be worthwhile, truthful, and something so important that I want to dedicate everything I have to pursue consistent darkroom practice, tenesgrity, and recapitulation. I’ve done a few things here and there and seen very minimal, but significant progress that reconfirms these things. I’ve just struggled to be consistent and I know that I am my own biggest block.
I work full time and live with my significant other who I adore, and love more than anything. I don’t believe she would be absolutely opposed to me taking two or three hours a day for practice as she supports me and loves me the same but that would be hard considering our busy schedules and limited time together. I seem to want both, both the endurance and everlasting energy I pour into her and this “system”that I believe to be the most important thing in my life to pursue.
Is a long term, committed relationship with a partner compatible with this? I don’t want to dampen my relationship or take away parts of myself from her but I know these practices to be the truth.
I apologize if this comes off as juvenile or immature but I’ve struggled a lot as how to go from here.
Thank you for any advice.
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I’ll add that this has eaten me alive since my discovery of Castaneda. I don’t want to waste anymore time putting a full blown effort off, I just don’t want to sacrifice my relationship with the love of my life.
The Nagual Elias had Amalia.
And Julian had...
Everyone.
Even the men I suspect.
Thank you Dan. On another note the apartment in which we live has given us some interesting experiences. Objects have been moved to different rooms and my girlfriend has heard skipping and humming from a girl late at night. A few other things as well but I’ve chalked it up to a potential IOB. My evangelical upbringing which I’ve deconstructed some time ago still seems to pop up every now and then in the face of fear. Do you think moving my assemblage point will open me up more to this possible IOB?
Sure! They can move things around, bend water coming from the faucet, and even alter the rules of gravity a tiny bit.
And being visible even in the daytime is possible for them.
I once went into my living room through the hallway door, and found a 9 year old Irish boy with bright red hair, walking around with a big sledgehammer.
Cholita has one she keeps hidden in the yard, "just in case".
But while I was fully awake, there's a 9 year old boy in my living room explaining that Cholita doesn't like the bathroom tiles, so he's going to remove them and then have his little friends replace them with something more Mexican style.
I could see his little friends hiding behind the toilet in the bathroom.
As disturbing as having something like this happen might seem, it's more disturbing that you can't get it to happen more often!
You can't "learn" to make crazy things like that happen.
Because it's the Allies that do it.
Maybe it takes too much energy for them to be that real. So they limit how many times you get to see such a thing.
I practice every night at 10pm while in a committed 2+ year relationship. My partner has no issues with it and if she did then it wouldn't work out. In the end sorcery is more important to me.
So it's all about what you prioritize.
Thank you, how long do you practice for and how as it affected your relationship with your partner? Do they see a difference in you in how you perceive them or they perceive you?
1 to 2 hours or longer depending on how I feel.
My partner has practice darkroom with me multiples times so she's used to me doing it.
I live with my partner and I get to do my practice too. And I know that we have many here with spouses and even with children too. It's like having a personal hobby you love and you dedicate time for it everyday. It's actually good for partners to have personal interests without the other. Time is limited yes and yet you have to divide time for quality reasons. It's better to spend less but quality time with the partner rather that being all the time together and wondering how it would be to do something else.
Thanks for the insight!
If you're interested to pursue Nagualism, do what you can, when you can, and see where it takes you and you relationship. Try not to spend a lot of energy trying to envision how the different parts of your life will look years from now.
Anybody who doesn’t understand what you’re doing here, spending hours and hours “on nothing”, I really don’t think you want/ need them in your life. They probably prefer staying at a 5 star yoga resort praying to a plastic Buddha.
But ofc if you take this seriously then most of your life if not everything will be put to the test. If a relationship is not sincere, eventually you realize.
But overall, I don’t think it would make you a worse partner at all. If anything, it will make you less moody, more stable and generally more enjoyable to be around with.
If you're interested to pursue Nagualism, do what you can, when you can, and see where it takes you and you relationship. Try not to spend a lot of energy trying to envision how the different parts of your life will look years from now.