Seeing, waking and dreaming

Hi.

About five years ago things began to get strange for me.

Maybe it’s better to focus on what is happening now than to tell you a story in chronological order.

I have several IOB’s residing in my body, waiting for me to fall asleep and interact with me in my dreams. I can gaze inwardly and see them. They basically look like what’s attached in the photos.

Sometimes in the dreams we go to their world. Which usually reminds me of the Tenderloin in SF. I have seen a field of babies waiting to be born- but no baby for me. Or we fly and are very huge, dipping our toes in shallow water of the oceans. We jump. We can see sickness in cross section. We travel through my body which looks like the tunnel system in the photo. There are sometimes repetitive tasks like peeling off a layer. Sometimes- why? They try to trap me in my own foot.

In dreams they are becoming everyone I have ever loved and I tell them I love them. They do things just to provoke me until I am screaming Fuck you! And digging in my fingernails. They are frightening me and I wake up in a sweat. When I am lucid and hold my awareness the movie look of the dream becomes filmy and then I am seeing in a glowy monochrome X-ray- with shadows, layers of green curling shadows becoming faces within faces.

Before this became every night- I used to joke I had a spirit lover. It seemed to come once or twice a month on my cycle. The dream lover would always give himself away by having a not quite right penis.

The wall are always popping around me with their comings and goings. When they are in a hurry they leave through a corner. When they are comfortable it’s through a wall. The ones with me are always reaching out for the nearest wall.

It’s been nearly two years now of this. I was told by someone I trust that I have inherited the spirits of my mother’s family. I traced them back to Sonora Mexico- maybe Ópata people. Hard to know for sure.

I am new to these teachings. Reading here I see what I am experiencing described, and it has helped me to feel less afraid. These IOBs seem to love interacting and want to have fun. But it is a lot for me to handle some times, especially when it’s windy. I can’t sit outside at night or I catch more.

I hope you will know I am sincere and truthful. And maybe one of you can help me.
I will probably delete this because I cannot stand these words existing for too long.