Does "I'm not ready yet" affect progress? Should I wait until I feel ready or is it better to ignore that and push forward?
I was chatting with Athina about interacting with IOBs and seeing their light in dreaming...I told her I wasn't ready yet, so I'm not actively trying to see their energy, anymore.
But...
My energy body pointed its little finger at an IOB in dreaming and it began to to change, while unbuttoning its blouse. Then, I said to the IOB, "I'm not ready yet," and it stopped.
I then realized I was starting to lose dreaming attention and I yelled, "STOP! I want to stay in dreaming."
With that, I found myself in a copy of my bedroom. My bed was in the same position, but the sheets were a different color. Mine are cream, but the dream copy's were pink. My windows were on the opposite wall than in this reality.
I noticed someone in bed and my energy body moved closer and wanted to get a better look at the sleeper. But I said, "I'm not ready yet." So, instead, we moved around the room looking to identify "real" vs "dream" items.
I've noticed 2 things:
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My energy body sometimes acts of its own volition in dreaming
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My energy body does what I ask (most of the time), in dreaming.
I wonder...I'm I slowing our progress when I say, I'm not ready yet?
19 Comments
Fear is the first enemy a man (or woman) of knowledge must defeat, no?
It is, indeed. Thank you.
I'm not fearful of seeing the IOB's energy. I just don't yet feel a connection with them.... a deeper reason why I should connect with them. Seeing their energy feels more intimate than I have reason for, at the moment.
On the other hand, I was indeed fearful of seeing myself sleeping in bed.
So do I. Even in small things like when I become lucid while dreaming it’s a cool experience, but I get afraid to go further because of an irrational fear of getting lost in the dream and not being able to wake up. It could just be blind optimism but I think we’ll be okay, with prolonged exposure to non-ordinary states of reality eventually we’ll be forced to get used to it whether we’re ready or not. The only other option is quitting.
And that's too much for you? What is the more intentmate to that?
You don't need to connect with them, you can just befriend them and learn with then. They can be your adventure buddies in a way. Your double is ok just exploring with it, it's something to you that makes you stuck. I think it has to do with fear. Either way if you just don't care about connecting with them you can just explore their presence in the environment. You don't have to get close to them.
I do let them follow me around and I do talk a bit with them, so that's fine.
Seeing their energy...an analogy I could use is like....I'm not fearful of someone showing me their nakedness, but I don't want to see it, yet.
I'm sure I'll get past it, eventually. Thank you.
Yeah of course you can take your time and not think about it much. Since you don't want to see their energy now, let it go from thinking about it or have it in your mind. Whatever we give our attention a lot aka obsess over , whether we like it or we hate it, it goes to our double. Give your self a slack!
I was reading this 1995 semiar from Taisha and I think it can be useful to you about dreaming and the iobs! here
Great resource! Thank you so much for sharing this with me. I really enjoyed this part:
"What our group has discovered is the ability of inorganic beings to feel affection. Inorganics have a capacity for genuine and deep affection that is as comforting as nothing else. And they do things for witches for this affection, freely and without expectations. They are motivated, in their desire to help us, by their understanding of how short our lives are compared to theirs. "
Sounds like your getting the reigns in your own hands, don't let go!
Don't let anyone or anything decide for you...also goes for when fully awake.
I was thinking that perhaps I should follow the lead of my energy body and trust her decisions in dreaming, instead of inserting my own volition.
Well, it does seem like a " perfectly natural reaction" you had.. I mean hey, hold yer horses! 😆
Feeling not worthy or not ready is a part of self-pity aka the internal dialogue, in the books there is a section where Carlos said that he feels unworthy of entering the sorcerers world, I think it may imply that everyone feels that way but I don't remember it exactly, It's part of what traps us here, perhaps a major part.
Thank you. Yes, we're unraveling the layers as we practice this sorcery, for sure.
This reminds me of when I was in a dream and did the “cloak of confidence” pass. I ended up going through a pink/purple wall, and seeing a woman… I was completely out of my dream. This frightened me as I wasn’t sure who she was. I demanded to get back to my normal dream. Anyway, I agree with others that this is a “first enemy of man” problem… fear. You’ll get there!
Did you have to do anything in particular to get past cases where your energy body just does her own thing? I'm just wondering if I should trust my energy body and go with her flow, when she takes charge in dreaming, like that.
I shall indeed get past this stage, eventually. Thank you.
I'm not sure I know what you mean. Are you losing lucidity? In general, the double has more experience in the second attention than we do... she is you, as well. I'd trust her/your own intuition. But also, I'll defer to people with more experience. :)
In dreaming, I normally think/act as I do in this reality. For example...when I want to go to the kitchen, I choose to go. I consciously make that choice. I mostly do that in dreaming, too.
But, there are times in dreaming where I act without conscious choice. My energy body just does things without my conscious volition. Like when my energy body screeched the weirdest sound, at an IOB...or when she pointed her finger at the IOB or moved to the bed and bent to look at the sleeper, etc.
That's what I mean by my double acting of her own volition.
Yes, maybe I should just trust her in those cases, even when I don't feel ready. Thank you.
”I’m not ready yet” is a confusing command for any entity. It implies that you know what is coming, because you seem to know what being ready for it means. Then your best option is to get ready before it comes! No excuses, no complaints. If you don’t know what is coming - and who does? - your only option is to face the unknown. They did warn us that it takes guts of steel. Do the Masculinity series maybe.
An enlightening perspective. Thank you. I just read about the masculinity series and women can practice it too, so I'll incorporate some of it in my Tensegrity sessions. I need those guts of steel.