I have been practicing daily with everything I got, even though I have a kid and a business and travel full time in rv, I would still dedicate at least 1 hour a day. My goal would be 4 hours a day, bur unfortunately it would end up as 2 hours average.
I would put in at least 1 hour a day recap, this for some reason I would almost not skip. And I have rewatched my entire life including extensive list at least 3 times, with as much details possible. At some points I would hit dead end as there wasn't much to recap, but after some very deep realizations I could start recapping again and find more new and new things to erase. I guess that's something that would take entire life as you can always carve more energy out of it.
The dark room was at least 1-2 hours a day, with possible breaks of 2-3 days between every 1 or 2 months due to some events in life or self pity at high levels that I couldn't or didn't want to break therefore skipped some days of practice. I have learned at least 6 long forms, but for some reason east wood series became my favorite.
Now that I got over putting out there how much energy was put into it, i can share some real results. I will start with more generic ones.
Extremely high libido, Iam not sure what else to say here, but I couldn't leave my wife alone, now she is pregnant again lol.
Amazing mood, this is something that may seem like a not a real point, bur once you realize how much time we spend in shitty mood this one is a big one.
High energy, this one is super important while I still can get sick, but my general energy is so high I don't get tired as much as before. Feels like iam 18 again.
Bad habits/addictions, with the gain of knowledge and will power, I could finally remove bad habits and extreme addictions such as smoking, watching porn, playing video games
Amazing relationships, I can't consider that I fight my wife or other people anymore, if there is a fight she is fighting me one way and iam just transparent. Same goes to other people and seeing their intentions, it became extremely easy to see what people want, why they do what they do, and if necessary they can be easily manipulated(I don't usually do that)
Dreams by default became bright and memorable.
New look on things, this would be too easy to not be able to explain fully, but I will try. I stopped looking at things the human way and there is always spirit involved or some other magical explanation behind everything. Whether it's a movie, song or a business contract. The funny thing I got caught calling people humans, as i am above them (in no case do I think that), but the fact remains my outlooks on life are not compatible with any regular person anymore.
Now to more specific feelings.
I remember random dreams vividly all the time during my regular daily activities. Some dreams from when I was a kid.
I have found myself to have 2 sides. 1 of those sides resides in my belly and time to time I feel it entirely, almost like an alien living inside of me, but it doesn't feel unnatural, it feels like home and very old. Sometimes feelings come from that creature as it's own. The other side is my regular side, which if iam in it, or more like iam not balanced in it, it's extremely unpleasant, impatient, energy wasting and young. I try to avoid that state as much as I can and usually Iam successful at avoiding it entirely.
If iam in heightened awareness, and I can feel the being living in my stomach, I can predict basic things, almost like intuition, if somebody is about to call or text, if someone just arrived at the door before they knock, or if something about to happen.
Iam able to go into bliss feeling very easily during daylight or regular activities. It really does feel like being an idiot with a grim smile, enjoying everything lol. Time to time I very much enjoy this state, but it more feels like it comes.right after being in complete self pity suffering state, because iam not suffering anymore much, I don't get those big contrasts or I try to avoid it, hard to explain this feeling or why I do what I do with it now.
When I closed my eyes, in the dark, I could see faces, places or magical figures. That's how it started, now sometimes with open eyes doing some random thing it feels like I can see in 2 places at once, but it's very briefly. Almost like I saw it and later I remember I saw it, it started as brief mental images, but now the images are alive and moving.
I can now see shadows where they are not, wierd shapes or moving. Sometimes it feels like they are trying to tell me something, but I can't speak their language. Once I have possibly saw a flyer, it also did look like a round shadow. I was in a very high awareness state and all of the sudden I remembered that I just saw something. (It's like seeing backwards) I saw that a shadow came to me and instantly flew away towards my broken part of rv, which was behind me and ourside( but I still somehow saw where it went). The broken part that was broken for awhile started to worry me a lot and draining me of energy. At first I thought the shadow was part of me, but the shadow felt too unnatural.
If the configuration is right Sometimes I can enter madness, where the feeling of the body starts stretching and pulling me backwards, the faces turn into monsters, different places can appear lights and colors, space with stars. Sometimes it scared me shitless, now iam finally making my peace and ready to give everything up I have as it does feel lately that I have nothing, it's just an illusion, a sand seeping through fingers and I try so desperately to cling to it.
I don't know what's coming next, and I don't really care, all I know is this. There is no way I can go back to living the way I did.
P.S I just briefly reread what I wrote above and it doesn't seem as structured as my previous 1st year report, but unfortunately I can't really describe it better, or put it into better structure. Looks like a confusing mess, but it is what it is.
26 Comments
The best suggestion to make is to move your assemblage point as deeply as you can every day but I think you know that as well.
Yep, the assembly point moves deeper with cleaner link to intent
How quickly during these 2 years were you able to get out of the green zone on the J curve during your darkroom sessions?
As soon as you stop asking those types of questions, when and how, because those questions are part of the merchant rational mind.
As soon as you give everything you have, you will see the magic is not what you thought it to be. All answers will come themselves and will crush the regular perception of the world, and from there, there is no way back.
The need to control is what holds us back.
What visual phenomenon have you experienced in the dark room this year from doing that?
Faces
Places
Magical shapes
Different colors
Wierd body sensations connected to visuals such as strings
Seeing hands in pitch dark
In daylight:
Wierd Shadows black and white
Double layer of body (white color around body)
Change of colors
Stretching of field of view
Movement of roads like stretching forward
Nice, sounds like exciting progress
I don't think there is anything wrong with this question, if you have already voluntarily shared your progress over 2 years. Newbies like me are always curious. They are the main readers of such reports from more experienced practitioners.
Its not the question, its the approach you are trying to use is incorrect. You are using the tools of your regular perception trying to measure and cut something completely out of your reach. Once you start doing practice for no reward, you will notice what truly moves your assemblage point and give into it. And that's how you will break out of your regular perception.
Let's just say where you are trying to go is a natural state, but you are trying to go there by using all the doings which are the reason why you are stuck in regular perception to begin with. If you do enough recap, you will see it too.
All the magic is NOT DOING
Yes, I realize that. I try not to expect a reward, but I think the main reason is the internal dialogue. More precisely, those time periods in seconds that I can spend in complete silence are most likely not enough to move down the J curve below the green zone. Maybe I'm wrong, I have to understand this on my own "skin".
Yes, you are correct. You are yet to learn what silence is. Right now, you have put those magic terms into inventory, and you are operating them as you understand them.
Keep practicing. The more hours you put in, the harder it will be to continue the old ways that don't work. One day, you will feel/see something very different and will try to repeat it. Over time, you will learn, as long as you don't quit.
Really interesting report. Thanks for sharing!
Do you think the “regular” part of yourself that’s unpleasant is the foreign installation?
Absolutely
i entirely appreciate this report and i have similar experience. it’s clear from your writing how much clarity you have because i can read it clearly without pausing or double thinking.
i think it’s beneficial for others to know of these petty benefits that comes with dedication to practicing and cutting through all the abstractive distractions and all that misery producing inventory obsession.
this stuff is better than all the yoga and meditation one could muster or harness the energy to exercise.
i have really good days most times i can barely believe it. how clear i feel about everything, clarity of awareness within dreams, willpower to keep myself doing things, i can cut through things quickly and learn a new topic so quick and precisely.
there’s also the extreme boredom sometimes where it feels like there’s absolutely nothing.
and i watch the news and im always surprised how intense everyone is about what they believe and all the chaos people create that i now believe to be just boredom and a lack of any guidance (or could just be the eagles commands idk i guess).
thanks for writing this, it’s so helpful to me.
Thank you for sharing your second year report.
Is this something you experience during darkroom or is it something that happens as you go about your normal day in daylight? And why do you refer to it as "madness?"
I remember reading something similar in one of the books where Carlos was describing how he noticed this phenomenon in himself. How awesome that you're experiencing something along the same lines, as well!.
Yes, it was awesome to find this description in the book last time emergencytotal mentioned it in chat. It quickly grabbed my attention, but unfortunately hooked me to try to save more "energy". That hook later drained me, but now iam aware. There is really no such thing as trying in magic.
No it's a mixture of expierences in the darkroom room and daylight silence or middle of the night random wake-up. All awake, more details in the dark than day, in the day its mostly field of view changes and stretching body feelings. I refer to it as madness because of the chaos that it seems to be, plus absolutely no control over it.
Did you manage to "get your wife to do darkroom"?
No absolutely pointless. I tried every way, even got her to promise by herself that she will try, but still no luck.
She sees IOBs sometimes. Sometimes, iob likes to pretend to be our baby and scares her. Baby sleeps at night with us and it's perfect for iob to pretend to be our baby in the middle of the night lol.
She remembers seeing iobs when she was a kid and uses this fear to block herself from practice, of course aside from laziness
Awesome motivation! Thank you for sharing.
The struggle is real, the effort worth it cause the magic is reproducible.
Exactly!
thanks bro！Like you, my dreams began to be remembered randomly and became clear too like you，“We are in the same boat”,Let's move on！
Have your family members noticed that something is different?
There is a concern on the user evaluation chat about this type of posts. What concerns us is the overall focus on the self and the matters of daily life and not on what matters: practice time doing sorcery. Reading this post feels like the great results of the use of a self- help tool and not reading about sorcery progress.
It's very fortunate that your life has changed for the better and yet this is not what sorcery practice is about. I'm personality confused towards your actual sorcery practice and progress. There's so much focus and detail in the life afairs but so little towards practice.
If we change direction and allow anyone to post about their personal life changes, this sub will transform to another forum with useless content.
We aim to keep the focus on results towards moving the accemblance point in practice time. That way people look towards the right direction and we all boost each other. So anyone reading this keep this in mind when posting your progress.
And Athina was the good cop this time. I was sure some blood was necessary.
So keep in mind, if this fails, the masacre will begin...
That's why we need women in our lives lol
Confusing it is indeed. This is definitely 100 percent correct, as this post is almost fully oriented around the benefit towards the self, which is THE OPPOSITE what we are trying to do here.
Just to be clear for everyone, to do the magic towards any benefits around the self is going to lead to a complete failure and will not result in the assembly point movement! In fact, those are petty benefits compared to where it really goes.
I can see now how this post doesn't line up with this subreddits intent and probably should be removed. Please advise if that's what should be done, or it can be used as an example of what not to do.