I've been a liar,lying to others, to myself and I am very highly manipulative about everything, to the point of everything stated coming around pathologically.
I'm NOT here to make this post personal or indulge in pity party.
I'm looking for advice on how to set up intent to separate lies from what's real and how to brute force the truth at all times because I currently see no other way.I guess I'm looking for advice from someone who has more insights.Thanks
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Why do you lie?
It started off as trying to protect myself from abuse, went further into trying to hide who I trully am and what I think about magic and sorcery to the point of getting skilled in being an actor, but then it went into just slipping into some fog abd just straight up lying and pretending out of nothing, like my voice is not even mine... I know it's not because it can lie out of everything and its super intelligent in its own corrupt kind of way.I dont think its as bad as it sounds and im somewhat mindful of it, I havent gone lost completely, but I do notice.
I'm aware that "slipling into the fog", being numb when I enter certain frame from where this happens is my indulgence and its interlinked with a flyer, I'm trying to overcome it.
The internal dialogue is a template, and it doesn't differ anywhere near as much as people may assume from person to person.
It plays the same tricks on us all. Arguing against anything that would disrupt it, and agreeing with itself (justifying a lie), are two of the big ones.
But it's all one sided! A straw man.
As schizophrenic as it may sound, it really does help to perceive it as an outside element...a foreign installation. Even if it is merely a distortion of the normal circular energy flow in the center at the crown of the head.
Should be a whorl or eddy, but instead becomes a side-to-side back and forth slosh through our teens and adulthood...
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