I am hoping that somebody can clue me in as to what’s happening or what happened to my ability to dream.
19 years ago, I lost my father to lung cancer. It was a traumatic experience to say the least. After he passed, for a year afterwards, I would have the most intense and emotionally disturbing dreams, so much so that my husband would wake me up in the middle of the night because I was sobbing with tears streaming down my face and hyperventilating! Nightly!! And in a lot of these dreams, I was aware that he was dead, I was aware that I was dreaming and talking to him and I think that’s what was the most painful and disturbing thing! Not just the fact that I would be awakened and sobbing uncontrollably.
That happened for about a year after he died. The dreams stopped suddenly, and after they stopped, they never came back. Any dreams whatsoever! I am not aware at this point in time if I’m not dreaming at all or if I’m just not remembering a single thing.
It feels almost like something snapped and ever since then I have not been able to dream or remember that I dreamt.
If anybody has any advice or explanation, or even a guess, it would be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading this. 🙏
17 Comments
It's not the purpose of this subreddit to explore this kind of question.
If you take the time to look around, you'll see what kind of activity we're focused on, which has little to do with unconscious sleeping dreams.
But I think it would be impossible to sleep and not dream. I'm sure you can recover some memory of dreams with a bit of effort eg. writing down as much as you can remember upon waking.
I've verified it myself, that recapitulation is what you should be doing. When I recapitulate seriously, my dreams start coming back. I have exactly the same problem, and it requires effort from me. Since this doesn't have to do with the practice of dreaming yet (which requires looking for your hands, etc, etc), it isn't a sorcery question, but suffice to say, you need to practice if you want to progress.
I'll suggest one thing though: "You begin making your list today," he said. "Divide it by years, by occupations, arrange it in any order you want to, but make it sequential, with the most recent person first, and end with Mommy and Daddy. And then, remember everything about them. No more ado than that. As you practice, you will realize what you're doing."
Don't start with your dad, on Don Juan's advice. Carlos' mother died very early on in his life, and Don Juan still suggested to save his mother for last.
This is a concise explanation of recapitulation (suitable for someone with logorrhea):
http://www.uazone.org/naph/ccarlos/books/cc10/tensegrity62.html
and this is the wiki for recapitulation:
https://www.reddit.com/r/castaneda/wiki/recapitulation/
Removed for an unspecified reason. Further details may, or may not, be forthcoming from the mods.
Regarding removal: since this question doesn't directly relate to your sorcery practice, it doesn't belong.
Also, only a few have this problem here, and the answer has always been recapitulation (Dan definitely does not have this problem for instance).
Recapitulation is your answer, however much you might dislike it (that's not a knock on you, it's simple truth that everyone resists it):
"Sorcerers believe," don Juan went on, "that as we recapitulate our lives, all the debris, as I told you, comes to the surface. We realize our inconsistencies, our repetitions, but something in us puts up a tremendous resistance to recapitulating. Sorcerers say that the road is free only after a gigantic upheaval, after the appearance on our screen of the memory of an event that shakes our foundations with its terrifying clarity of detail. It's the event that drags us to the actual moment that we lived it. Sorcerers call that event the usher, because from then on every event we touch on is relived, not merely remembered.
How does it not relate??? Im so confused! I want to practice dreaming, finding my hands, and I can’t even dream ordinarily.
You've been given the answer to your question.
Taisha also started with recapitulation in her books, she spent about 6 months every day in a cave, recapitulating her life.
Every sorcerer in the books has spent a lot of time recapitulating their life and Jadey says recapitulation is absolutely necessary.
Don Juan again:
"No. There isn't. Recapitulating and dreaming go hand in hand. As we regurgitate our lives, we get more and more airborne."
I wouldn’t even know where to start with recapitulation. I’m not disliking it. I’m simply not understanding it in a practical sense.
You should take the list-building seriously, but if you want to, you can start with anyone that you like. Sexual partners are the most charged, however, and have the most potential. Just pick an event that involved a sexual partner, and start remembering the details of what was happening. (This does not mean simply sex, but all facets of life with a partner).
Pick any memory that has emotional depth to it.
After that:
You'll need to do some reading, as well as working on your list. You can add to your list with time, just take it seriously to start with.
Basically, you will eventually have a list of every person you have interacted with.
You've been provided the information for it, so you'll need to at least give it a try at reading what has been provided.
Dan has journals and journals filled with his memories that he recapitulated.
Whatever. I’m done trying to ask for help here. I’ll just figure things out on my own.
Don't be so offended over a small thing, feel free to ask for help, but your question has been answered.
You aren't dreaming, so finding your hands is a no-go. If you want to start your dreaming practice, you'll need to practice recapitulation.
Since you aren't dreaming, your dreaming practice is at a halt. You've been given your answer, and it is a total and complete answer.
Funny! You can be quite dismissive. I hear you clearly though and I’m done here- I say this with zero feelings, since I don’t have those over humans I’ve never met. There’s nothing productive about trying to engage with people who can’t see beyond their viewpoint.🫡
Sorry what is beyond my viewpoint? You wanted a sorcery answer to a sorcery question. Recapitulation is what you need. If you wanted a different answer you could ask elsewhere, like practicing sleep hygiene etc etc.
I know from practical experience that the way to get your dreams back is recapitulation, just like you know piano teaching. If a student doesn’t want to learn the basics of playing the piano (or recapitulation) there isn’t anything you can do for them.
I’m not getting paid to incentivize you, after all.
Stop just stop lol! 😂 If Don Juan saw this convo, he’d hit you with a branch and say, “You take yourself too seriously to ever fly.”
You’re not paid to incentivize me??😅 Bro, no one asked you to clock in. You came dressed like a seer and acted like a substitute gym coach.
You asked me to clock in, you wanted answers, you got the one answer pertaining to sorcery.
No offense over answers- I appreciate ALL the answers. Didnt understand why it had to be taken down but whatever. My feelings are irrelevant.
One of the rules for removal is “low effort posting” where a question that can be easily found by reading the books or reading more posts can be removed. This is not your case, but your question is answered and does not need all this discussion it just requires practice now.