I had a fun session last Thursday that I was asked to share. That night, I was up until 12:30am for work. Our team was conducting maintenance, and there were problems along the way. I did my best to keep my internal dialogue under control and not burn attention unnecessarily or get anxious about potentially missing practice. In the end, everything worked out, and we were successful. It was a huge relief.
I woke up at 3 am and snoozed until 3:45. I was tired but managed to put on my eye mask, roll off the sofa, and start to recap. After I finished recapping the day's events, I chugged some cold coffee from earlier and started my passes.
Tensegrity - DVD Vol 1, unbending intent(mashing & stirring energy), life saver pass, Westwood series(center for decisions, recapitulation, dreaming, inner silence), DVD Vol 2 with the affection for energy body pass integrated. Wrapped up around 5:50 am and sat to gaze.
During seated gazing, I saw a flat textured surface in the distance, which is a typical sight at this point. A blocky pinkish 3D staircase slowly assembled itself around eye level. I watched it form and noticed 'Candle' at the top step. Edges of the stairs were defined, and the steps were solid; the candle flame had a multi-colored shine.
In my last post, I mentioned seeing a simple lit candle; I've seen it every session since. Occasionally, I use the candle as a silence meter; when I've maintained a reduced internal dialogue, the candle will appear with a bright or multi-colored flame. The stick will be detailed with a strong outline or 3D appearance. If I'm struggling with internal chatter, the candle will appear but with a faint outline. Sometimes, the bird that visits me during my sessions will fly out of the candle flame.
After the staircase disappeared, I didn't see anything else; knowing I had to start my day at 6:45, I rested on my right side, rocks still between my fingers, eye mask still on, and eyes still open.
Within seconds, I was looking at whitish smoke/fog and found myself staring at blue formations flowing between two parallel white lines in the distance to my right; I thought, "Ice cave." I remember seeing a flame to my left. Everything else was black. There was an IOB presence; I don't recall the details; I just know I wasn't alone.
Then I found myself in a dream, where I found my hands, changed dreams, and did tensegrity multiple times. Below are the details but marked as a spoiler:
>!Sitting on the grass in front of a house. I looked at my hands and saw missing fingers, felt the texture of the grass, and looked at my hands again; moving was difficult, and I felt heavier than usual in dreaming, but I managed to do a few dream passes. The dream changed. I was inside the house, thought I was awake, and looked at my hands. They were dream hands. Someone who looked like my mom but was taller and had different hair was standing there very still. I purposely ignored it(in other darkroom dreams, I've been grabbed by people who looked like my mother). More kept showing up, performed dream passes again. A sofa seat scooped me up and started bumping me around the room, into and partially through walls like I would if pushing a kid around playing, then it dumped me into a multi-tiered swimming pool with people in it. There was a wall of water coming out of the pool, like the 'ocean' from Moana. At that point, I completely lost rationality.!<
I found myself back on the sofa, gazing with my eyes open. I took off my mask. The ceiling was covered by multi-colored TV static. Checked my phone. It was 6:30, fifteen minutes early, I felt energized and wrote my notes, and by the time I finished writing, the alarm went off.
36 Comments
The blue thing I saw looked like this.
It was in the distance.
So inspiring! That's a great example of how really Unbending Intent works. And how rewarding it really is.
Dedication and persistence the right way pay. And the male practioner can even enter dreams from awake, transitioning to full on sleeping dreaming and coming back in time!
Im personaly very thankful that you shared this with us so people can see that it really works even when times are hard.
Thank you for the encouragement, I think you’re right!
I do whatever I can to not miss a session despite the circumstances and am usually rewarded for it as long as I don’t expect it
There was one time we were staying at a family member’s house for a few days, I did my passes in a narrow laundry room in the middle of the night then gazed from their sofa. Kicked the washing machine a couple times, surprised I didn’t wake the house. Ended up seeing something that freaked me out followed by white falling flower petals/feathers.
Don't forget that if you are awake, and see a "gift" object, never pick it up.
Just in case...
I have to do the same with Cholita objects she leaves laying around.
But the allies will try to lure you with stuff you can't resist, under the flimsy excuse that if you take it, you stole from them.
If you're asleep, it's not an issue since everything around you is the same as the object.
As always, thank you for your advice and support, I really appreciate it. It’s been over a year since I’ve been practicing nightly. Sometimes it’s hard getting out of bed, but it’s always worth the effort.
Probably what we need now is for someone to figure out how to practice all day long.
I was trying out "gait of power" in modified form this morning around 7AM, when no one else was around at my business park.
That could be done. A modified version could work to allow someone to move their assemblage point as far as it gets in nightly practice, but during the day when you go for a walk at break time.
Wouldn't work as a path, but once you can move your assemblage point easily during darkroom, y8ou can focus on the sound of the steps, and the movement is enough like tensegrity to cause the assemblage point to move.
We're like people who have learned to pull themselves up onto a wall, but don't know how to get their legs over.
In the past weeks, I’ve been experimenting with eye rolling during day gazing. It’s mentioned in a few of the books, where DJ instructs Carlos to roll his eyes to move his AP or to dispel feelings of frustration.
Whenever I go to the office, I stop at a park to gaze for a quick 15 minute morning session.
At first trying this, I was doing large eye rolls, to the extreme edges of their movement. Then one time during gazing I found myself relaxing/unfocusing my eyes and doing micro eye rolling, so subtle my vision would barely change. Then, after a minute or so, my eyes started doing it automatically. It was enough to change my vision, and maintain that change long enough to look around a bit.
Been experimenting with this indoors looking at walls, down hallways.
Do you recall if Carlos discussed this method during private classes?
Yes, he did mention it once or twice during lectures.
And eventually you can literally feel the "shine of your eyes", and use it to bring out things in the second attention mist.
I'd have to think that rolling the eyes is just a variant on panning the head using that shine, to find things to assemble.
That's why we need more advanced people.
To discover things like that, which might speed up beginners.
A very interesting detailed review, thanks. A small question about a sleeping mask: do you allow the mask to be removed during on short period of time or are you trying not to disturb the darkness?
I keep my mask on the entire time, including getting water, bathroom breaks etc. you see a lot of neat stuff around the house after the AP has loosened up a bit.
Hmm, if your eyes are open throughout the entire session, wouldn’t another kind of mask be more appropriate? I remember wearing one of those on airplane and I couldn’t blink freely, so I guess I would be more inclined towards masks used for sensory deprivation.
It’s an AI generated image. I use a Manta mask - https://mantasleep.com/products/manta-sleep-mask-pro
Okay, this one looks sophisticated and expensive! It seems like it’s worth though.
Thanks for the title, I took one. I had a regular sleeping mask and it was so damn uncomfortable because of the eyelashes.
I am just reading the description about manta masks. The pro version has C shaped eye cups, while the regular has O shaped eye cups. It seems that O shape protects from light much better than the C shape. What do you think?
I have both the pro and regular versions. The pro are more expensive, yes. They do fit my face better and don’t collect as much sweat. Using it every day and washing it multiple times they lasted little over a year before the lining started detaching from the eye cup.
Alright, but I am solely interested for their use in DR. Which model do you think is most appropriate?
I’d go with the pro. Even then, they are not perfect.
If anyone has a recommendation over the Manta masks I’m open to trying them.
I use a regular 3D mask, this is not a Manta mask, but it's also convenient and allows you to open eyes
I guess that works too. Being able to open eyes without obstacles is crucial. However, with these masks one doesn’t know what time it is. Let’s say you start practicing at 4 AM, you could easily reach sunrise without knowing. My room is especially hard to protect from light, so this is not always recommended.
If it is not possible to make a dark room this is a decisive moment. In addition, you can set an alarm
I tried several kinds of masks before i found one I could blink in without my eyelashes touching. Uditek deep pocket mask, $15.
Thank you for recommending, I was quite reluctant to pay 85$ for that Manta
Are the bird or the candle IOBs?
The bird, candle and eyes are IOB related. I’m not sure if they’re the same IOB or separate. To be on the safe side I acknowledge them separately as they appear.
The bird has been keeping me company during sessions since last April. Eyeball(s) started showing up last June and slowly began ramping up the frequency of visits. Candle showed up a few times in November and every day since March.
I assume you record things like that in your notes? I’m interested in what type of info you also record there, like time and duration of practices for example? Passes that you did?
I used to record session start time, end time passes and a full description of what took place. I recently stopped doing that. Now, if something new or outside the norm happens I’ll record it in my notes with appropriate level of detail.
I was chatting with someone about this the day before the session I posted.
When I checked the time after the session ended and found I had time for notes I started laughing.
Are you recording notes of your sessions?
No, but I think I will start doing that. Thank you!\~
I don’t understand why you say, “IOB related” what does that mean; they’re objects from the IOB realm? Have ever tried to pick the candle up and look around with it, or poke the eye?
How do you acknowledge them, with a nod or a wave?
Poor choice of words, the three are IOBs.
I acknowledge by saying hi, waving, making faces, playing etc.
I throw the bird, sometimes my hand passes through it, sometimes I can move it.
So what they get from you by just being present?
The TV static is fun! I see it all the time too, what colors did you have this time?
This time, I didn’t stare at it too much. I was still processing what had just happened. Recall it being a wide variety of colors, not biased towards a specific hue.
This morning I was seeing white line segments briefly appearing on the ceiling.
What’s the end goal of this practice?
Hi, this entry does a good job of answering your question-
https://www.reddit.com/r/castaneda/wiki/index/goal/?share_id=EDGjCuDwzcK5K87P5ozh9&utm_content=1&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_source=share&utm_term=1
"To seek freedom is the only driving force I know. Freedom to fly off into that infinity out there. Freedom to dissolve; to lift off; to be like the flame of a candle, which, in spite of being up against the light of a billion stars, remains intact, because it never pretended to be more than what it is: a mere candle."