I was doing that one pass where your arms swing and tap your shoulder
I just saw a lot of weird stuff i cant really explain. Things started to get very weird. I was also seeing half formed shadows of faces everywhere. Ive had a lot of mediocre practice sessions the past few months but i think what changed this time was that i was doing 3 things simultaneously in a very focused manner
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i was forcing silence
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i was doing tensegrity and trying to do the moves perfectly instead of half assing them
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i was gazing at the darkness
i think focusing very intently on the tensegrity helps me silence my internal dialogue because if im just sitting there or doing the movements lazily, my mind obsesses over how to get silent and it just turns into a draining experience.
4 Comments
Making progress in darkroom might be said to consist of a series of realizations that you have to "get more serious".
One might explain that this fights off "the flier's mind" because you become disciplined, and then the flier's find your awareness tastes bad, and don't lick it off your luminous shell.
(By the way, you can visibly see that shiny sugar coating on your egg once you reach silent knowledge. Sometimes...)
Or that being more serious "summons intent", causing the favorable results to assemble from the emanations.
Or that it's merely just more focus on silence and not letting your awareness wander elsewhere during practice. Something mechanical.
Or maybe it's just following the instructions Carlos gave us, so that you get attached to the energetic mass he created, pulling you along.
Afterall, we're trapped in the blue zone because of the energetic mass of billions of people sucking each other back into shared grief and suffering, with fake promises of being rewarded by some imaginary entity. Or of becoming "wise" and realizing all the suffering was worth it.
Also an imaginary concept...
Sorry Epicurus, that was pure mental masturbation!
He's the one who claimed happiness came from living a long life of wisdom.
I think he was confusing lower testosterone levels, for happiness through wisdom.
The fact is, we're mostly Chimp, and chimps are explorers. They can't be happy in cages.
Happiness only comes from an infinity of new magic, growing in your life daily.
I can relate. With me, the self (in the guise of the internal monologue) becomes enraged at any attempts to silence it:
(recapitulation mellows the rage monster)
It could help to diverge from using a verb like "get" (to obtain/become/arrive) almost as if silence was a commodity, and also implies process rather than a state change.
Trying. Which is a non-stater according to Yoda 😉
i.e. BE SILENT.
As in you're actively engaging in an internal monologue, so stop the flow of that. Immediately. Then stretch it out...............................................
I don’t know if we’re talking about the same thing, but… recently, Dan posted something about “the hands of the double”: (https://www.reddit.com/r/castaneda/comments/1m7b1e0/silent_knowledge_spaces/)
Well, if you track Hulk, you can find “his center” and “extract it” using those "hummingbird hands", then throw it out onto the street… Even if you’re not the type who looks for confirmations, his horrific scream outside will make it clear it worked — at least partially…
Then, without him — or at least without what you managed to rip away in that first intervention — the silence will begin to flow slowly and gently…
You’ll say… “Is this me?”
Yes, you become “cool” when you let the double help you (others will think you’re arrogant and a liar, but you won’t care, since you could even keep saying you’re “Hulk” so they don’t interrupt you too much).
simplicity itself