For some reason, recapitulating from most recent memories to oldest has proven difficult, maybe because recent memories are actually more blurry and emotionally charged, for me. Does it matter if I approach the task in random order, as things come to me? Or from my oldest memories to newest?
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Maybe some others could give you quotes from the witches, who seemed to give more advice on recap than Carlos did.
All we got from Carlos were his tales of time travel, using recap. So keep that in mind. If you're actually doing it right, you end up time traveling. If you don't, you didn't.
But until there's some "good advice" from the witches posted here, I'd suggest that the only thing that really matters with our sorcery is that you actually practice it. Because if you do, you'll learn how best to do it, as you go.
In other systems talking is all they really have, so it's easy to get the idea that if you're talking about it as if you believe, and claim to want to practice, that's all you need to be doing.
Doesn't matter if you actually practice it, since it doesn't really work anyway. And no one else wants you to make it work in those fake systems, because they never got it working themselves. You'll make them look bad if you actually get it to work. The chaosmagick subreddit is a good example of how something that doesn't actually ever work, is practiced by simply talking enthusiastically about it.
Same for the Zen subreddit... There's nothing actually ever going on in there. When confronted with what we do, they say "You lie sir."
But in our system, the only thing that matters is that you actually work hard, and daily.
Your public stance on it is completely unimportant.
Some, like Cholita, won't talk about it at all.
And even when you catch her red handed doing something that breaks the laws of physics, or even if you merely catch her practicing Tensegrity, she'll deny it right to your face...
Which is surprisingly effective!
I finally got word from her in Mexico.
It seems she wasn't at all where she said she was.
Thanks! Right now I’m struggling with ‘letting go’ of my identity so I can force silence. It seems like such a massive leap to stop engaging in the thing I spent 29 years considering as my ‘personality’. Seems that recapitulation is the next step.
Who are the witches and where can I find material from them? I see that pop up pretty frequently in here and trying to absorb all the literature i can
Taisha Abelar is one. Google and you'll see her book(s).
And she also has an unpublished book that's the best of all. She gave a copy to Cholita, but you can get access in here.
Oddly, Cholita used her mischievous Ally "Minx" to make a phantom copy of our home, before I even knew about those as being a possibility for us.
One day I walked through the hallway door into the copy, and things started to turn crazy.
So I was reluctant to admit that had happened, even though the experience was so amazing it was hard to resist.
Then someone pointed out, Taisha's unpublished book takes place ENTIRELY in a phantom copy of their house down near the Yaqui in north western Mexico.
The other of the "witches" is Florinda Donner Grau, who writes books on waking dreaming.
I was likely supposed to protect Florinda after Carlos died, but he didn't come out and say it. So I declined the offer.
And ended up with Cholita instead...
That's like being asked to protect Glenda, and when you turn it down you end up with Elphaba.
But I suppose, Elphaba is more interesting than Glenda. At the least, I have to "watch my back" with Cholita around.
Or could be like Enid and Wednesday
Yummy...
As Cholita says when she sees a produce section high end grocery store male worker with 2 days growth of beard. She even seems to know all their names.
One way to tell when men like females they aren't supposed to like, is by how many posable 3D replicas of them you can buy online.
There's dozens of wednesday addams replicas for sale. Notice some are censored...
This video might make you more left-leaning.
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I posted a pic of what Fairy used to do for me, 100% real looking, but even though I censored the transparent sailor suit, Reddit decided it was too obscene and deleted my reply.
Do you think Carlos may have been a homosexual man?
No, in fact he made fun of gay men in front of Cholita, using a crude hispanic slur.
And he also made fun of Alan Watts for bringing that topic up when Carlos visited him.
I used to think that's why Carlos cut women's hair short, but now I fully understand the genius of that. It's so obvious, I'm not sure why it seems puzzling to people who haven't reached SK.
We are what we seek. Not at all what we gloss ourselves to be.
And we seek what we learned to seek.
You have to break all that down, topic and category by topic and category, in order to clean your link to intent.
There's no escaping it.
I could draw a pretty good diagram of that, based on what I was "seeing" for an hour or two last night.
But I just don't have the time.
Cholita actually can quote Carlos on what he said about that mall on Santa Monica Blvd, down the road from Dance home.
I didn't know about it until Cholita took me there and we saw men kissing in the front entryway.
We found a gay leather clothing and accessory sales person, and Cholita spent around $500.
But as with all of the clothing I bought her, I never got to see her wearing it.
Except one outfit, which she wore to run away. I only got to see her in it, because I had to rescue her. She got stranded.
God only knows how many clothes she's piling up in Mexico. Seeing as how she can't bring them back.
Do you think being celibate for 30 years gave you anger issues?
I'm known for being the opposite. Too easy going and tolerant.
Just not in here, because if you're tolerant in here you soon lose everything.
Even the AIs predict that if you give them the situation.
Heres a few short quotes , of several pages on the recapitulation, that helped me, and mostly the last quote, in regards to 'feeling' cause I remember feelings so much easier than faces , and details ..
"The Eagles Gift" p 287-288, chapter Florinda ;
"Florinda gave me then the fundamentals of recapitulating. She said that the first stage is a brief recounting of all the incidents in our lives that in an obvious manner stand out out for examination"
" The second stage is a more detailed recollection which starts systematically at a point that could be the moment prior to the stalker sitting in the crate, and theoretically could extend to the moment of birth"'
" She assured me that a perfect recapitulation could change a warrior as much, if not more, than the total control of the dreaming body. In this respect, dreaming and stalking led to the same end, the entering into the third attention."
" Theoretically , stalkers have to remember every feeling that they have had in their lives, and this process begins with a breath".
No, it doesn't matter. Though, emotionally charged memories are ripe for recapitulation.
It's really difficult to get that right. The most recent interactions with people could include your mother for example, who you should be saving for last. So in a way you have to put a dam up to recapping that. All the while you're interacting with others, some of whom you may have just met. They're on the top of the list. So, the ones who are at the very bottom are the last ones to recap- last, but certainly not least. The pathway has to be cleared.
It's funny how this post came up just as I was facing this hurdle for the umptieth time.
The order does matter. Don Juan said you can divide it any way you wish- years, occupations. What matters is that it it sequential. Getting that right might take a lifetime.
I also see a difficulty in recap without internal dialogue. Am I supposed to just visualize the memories without actually thinking about them? Yet sometimes it seems like recap is supposed to be accompanied by emotional content, if not verbal inward thought content. Not sure where the line is.
I'm guessing with internal dialogue, it's not really recap. A way to start off may be to recollect the events as they happened. Any thought or afterthought.. Any word whasoever describing what you're recapitulating is the internal dialogue. Foreign installation. Perhaps not always, idk.
You'll see that you can go back to an event and observe details that you may have overlooked or glossed over. Which is easy to corroborate so you get to learn to trust your ability in that eventually. Silence is key.
The order should start from freshest memory towards the latest one, but don't worry, you'll lost the track of time anyhow.
It is important to do that practice cause trough it you recollect energy you have lost during diferent interacations.
Even this was hard to write down for me caus I write from my memory of Carloses books, and last 72 hours I've been trough hell and back.
You don't need to die to be dead. You can live your life but be dead, and most of people are.
I was dead inside for decades and now it is very intensive to feel my fire again.
If the recent memories are more "emotionally charged" - those sound GREAT for recapitulating!
I've seen a couple intent gifts after regularly recapping - small bits throughout the day, then on wake up, recapping dreams then immediately whatever (whoever) came to mind. So that's an example that you can progress without precisely doing the order - at least to start.
Jadey recommended in comment on here that you should recap your day first, then start going into earlier and earlier memories.
Are you making a list? I've found it's easier to remember a chronological series of people by "places", so I put the name of where I encountered them, then their name (or description of their appearance or how we interacted). Then I can write down a chunk of them together because I met them all at the "same place" instead of trying to remember them "by people".