Darkroom Body Morphing

All the recent darkroom posts (plus old posts I’ve been reading) inspired me to take advantage of some time I had last night for a session.

I had been gazing in daylight earlier, following advice Juann had made in a post to start by looking at puffs with the eyes closed, then open them while continuing to hold enough silence to see the puffs with the eyes open. It’s difficult to remember everything that happened, but I know my assemblage point shifted enough that I was seeing things that “shouldn’t be there” in my view for a while, even when I was done practicing.

Later, I put on my taped up goggles and noise-cancelling headphones and started mashing and grinding energy, doing some other movements from the intent series. My view began to fill with a red-orange, that then seemed to illuminate black cut-out layers of shapes of machinery and jungle foliage. It quickly filled my whole visual field and was viewable no matter where I turned my head.

The image isn’t as accurate as I’d like, as the machinery and foliage were more pitch-black with white-ish lines for details, and they were more like layered sheets, or cut-out pieces of cardboard/paper stacked over each other appearing more like the background of a theater play.

A sort of white-ish small 3D irregular shape appeared, and flew out towards my upper right from the middle left of my view after I said “hello”. The red-orange had dissipated and gave way to swirling black shapes, and purple-ish puffs that were flying in from all directions, and started swirling with black, at one point part of it resembling “the whorl“. I pulled the puffs onto my torso, and watched the white shape that had swooped up behind my right shoulder, turn into a massive black shadow that was peeking up from behind the couch I was sitting on.

The shadow moved back to in front of me and took on a massive, morphing shape, transforming into a scary monstrous-looking homunculus. A small part of it near the center of my vision became bright white, and seemed to urge me to look into it and deepen my silence, making me feel at times like I was further away from myself. That further and further away feeling and view kept happening the whole session as I kept trying to hold and increase my silence.

The white shape I was peering into seemed to pull the purple and black puffs into it, and gradually I realized I was peering into a coliseum that was taking shape, and my body was making up half of it.

As the coliseum formed, my purplish-black outlined arms and legs started connecting to the other half of it, and I felt my body pull and grow in different directions like I was morphing and becoming gigantic, like I was actually becoming part of the coliseum itself.

It was a much more surreal sight than the AI image I posted, but it was the closest I could get it to make. My arms and legs stopped looking like arms and legs and rather morphed to form the walls and seats themselves. It felt absolutely bizarre to feel my body distort like that, to become part of a huge building.

It didn’t last very long, as my cats interrupted me, and I decided to stop the session entirely.

Very likely an intent gift from my obsessing, and/or an IOB wanting to interact. I have had body distortion experiences in darkroom sessions before, none quite this clear at this scale. Usually I seem to start turning into some beastly creature, never before a building!