I don’t want to oversaturate the subreddit with personal experiences, even if they’re about practicing, but thought I should share this just to show more of the way my darkroom sessions are changing with more dedicated and more formalized and “serious” practice sessions, really focusing on trying to deepen/increase my silence. It’s a big change from my usual informal and “just have fun” approach I’ve had the past 2-3 years.
The past few days’ practice sessions have been increasingly odd, mostly because they’re getting more incomprehensible and more difficult to remember afterwards. But making the effort to keep my focus off my mental chatter/noise in-between practice sessions seems to invite my old (?) IOB friend to take the opportunity to point something out to me, which makes me remember what I experienced during practice, and then that makes me realize why I’m feeling different after them or in-between sessions—like the memory of “resting” in silence during those sessions, which feels effortless and very pleasant after a certain point, and the sounds of everyday noise and my mental chatter become very distant and far away, and feeling peculiarly pleasant after those sessions.
And that made me remember various times the past few sessions where I have started to get pulled into a dream just by noticing some detail that is often in a pink fog or on a black-ish detailed “wall” or surface that then becomes me being in another space experiencing a dream and almost totally forgetting what I was doing and where I came from, nearly totally falling asleep, only to realize that and get spat back out to where I was sitting and gazing. A little disorienting!
One of the most coherent memories of part of a session from a few days ago was watching a pink blob “shed” or “peel” off me from my left side, and float in front of me to say it was going away for a bit to do something. I was a bit sad about that, but not so much that I started feeling any emotions very strongly or getting bombarded by mental chatter/noise again. The blob said it would come back, and was always available anyways, which was comforting for whatever reason.
But once the blob flew away and disappeared, I realized there was still another presence with me, and I stood up and did some kind of movement/walking that felt “sloppy”. I heard myself slur out loud “I’m here with you, we’re here together” or something like that. For some reason, I “knew” it was my double talking.
And during all of this, memories arose of these sorts of things happening in the past, that I’d mostly dismissed and forgotten about. This has been happening after and in-between sessions, too.
There was more that happened, and remembering all this suddenly while primping in the bathroom to get ready for the day made me spontaneously deepen my silence a little more and start seeing purple puffs and vague objects/images dancing in the air, in total daylight with my eyes open, and I saw yellow blobs moving around with them. There were patches in the air that looked sort of like swarms of gnats, or the look of the air when heat is radiating off of pavement, which I started to play with in my hands 😂
Another thing is I’ve been increasingly noticing this large circular shape that is in front of me and to my left, appearing a few feet away. I’ve noticed it for a while, it will look like a shadow or blotch and seems to be more visible when I’m not looking directly at it—it could just be something wonky with my eye, but it seems to be more noticeable, and noticing it has been bringing up memories from 2-3 years ago when I found this subreddit and was seeing a large spot in my vision for about a week that had the image I remembered last seeing when I had a medical emergency many years ago where my vision “whited out” and I was in whiteness, unconscious, for nearly a whole day before waking up in the hospital. Seems like a definite sign I should recapitulate that (again, more thoroughly, evidently).
6 Comments
It's a bit too talented to make me comfortable, but it's inevitable we'll run into that.
Here's something to look for.
These are some different "prejudices" or "moods" of gazing.
As fun as the green zone looks, it's a dead end. It leads to believing you are "one with everything". Which you are NOT. In fact, in that state you're blind to everything but the insect hive mind.
The red zone is kind of like "localized gazing" where you focus on a patch of space looking for colors. It's a sort of swirly relationship to gazing. And it leads to intense real magic, but of the kind that has trapped sorcerers in the past, because they never got past this. The Allies love this region because your energy body comes out to form dreams in the air, which is where they like to play at night in your sleeping dreams.
I suppose one might make the claim that witches are so good at making the red zone real, that they tend to be satisfied with what they have and rarely make the monumental effort to move on.
Men seek power over other men, so they're more likely to move on, once they get to the deep red zone and realize that magic is real.
The orange zone is highly underrated, and the main teaching method used in the lineages.
You can literally walk off into phantom worlds in that zone, although usually you can't move your assemblage point horizontally enough to make it "real", and have to be satisfied with simply "translocating". Meaning, you're in both places at once.
Then there's Silent Knowledge, which at first is more like trying to get the orange zone to break apart into multiple "videos in the air", or to form into text, perhaps emanating from a swirling red zone puff.
But once you can get there and thus work like a dog to do that daily (a huge feat over long periods of time), you might notice that as far as gazing goes, it's more like a drill or laser, to cut through rationality, and see what's under it.
Or maybe it's like a silent drip on a calm pond, and the ripples manifest scenes of other realities.
That was the best I could draw.
Beyond all of that, is "the abstract", which is like a room filled with different ghosts all trying to get our attention, but we've been punished so much to force us to remain trapped in this reality, that even perceiving one of those is forbidden and we instantly block it out.
But when you are ill with a high fever, you can't block it out. So you get the "feverish dream" effect.
Once after a bufo session, whenever I would wear an eyemask, I would see faces very clearly. They would be looking at me or passing by like floating figures. It took me a lifetime to realise these were real beings and not just my imagination. I'm not sure what the faces represent, since I imagine they are all just consciousness with no specific shape?
Could be an inorganic being, could be a silent knowledge entity, could be remote viewing.
No way to say until you can follow them in, and see where you land.
Any visual sight in the second attention can be used to fine tune your assemblage point position, and travel to that location. But only if your link to intent has been cleaned by stopping your internal dialogue, and practicing for many months in that state.
If it's an inorganic being your seeing as a face, they don't really look like what you see. And where you end up will also be interpreted by you, to be something more familiar. They just don't overlap with us, emanations wise, more than a small amount.
So you can't really "go there".
The Men of Knowledge, for example, believed the IOB world was the "world of the Brujos".
Rather delusional of them, seeing as how Carlos and Carol traveled there together and for them it was like a shack along a river. No mention of a Brujo convention.
I've seen the IOB world as caves over and over, and walked back and forth to see if the entry way gives resistance.
But I suppose the confusion of the Men of Knowledge was because that's what they were shown first, and they didn't have the ability to investigate it more deeply.
They weren't making up nonsense the way Daoists do, in order to steal money from the emperor.
They just never learned to "see", so they had to rely on Olmec pseudo religious beliefs.
Silent Knowledge Entities you might see as faces, are like God.
You can go visit, even daily if you have the free energy. The same way Nestor did with Porfirio, the Mazatec wizard. And I suppose, the location looks fully real.
But what you see with God is just a stream from the emanations that's been energized by people praying to it. It's a "collective reality" perhaps.
I don't believe it's influencing any actual physical matter, or is located in space somewhere, so it's not a "real" reality. It's missing too many emanations to make a complete reality.
But that's just speculation on my part.
Remote viewing is the only one where you might go to where a real being is living.
But usually, a person who can do that still doesn't have sufficient energy to actually travel to that location in their physical body, so they end up in a phantom dream of it, not realizing it's still possible to "tune it in" better.
I've found Cholita in Mexico, but I end up in a phantom copy of her location. And only for an instant.
To actually bring that into focus for my energy body in the "real world", and THEN to "wake up at the other location" is a skill perhaps even Carlos couldn't manage.
The one time in the books where he did that to travel from Mexico to Arizona, he had lots of help and nearly died from it anyway.
It's possible that was prep for doing it by jumping off the cliff, when don Juan left.
Definitely waiting for the other shoe to drop, sorry if this was a little too much 😬 But thank you for sharing that about different gazing "moods" to watch for!
Hey again dan been a while since our last convo was looking to reconnect message when u can!!
I don't message anyone anymore, it always ended very badly.
And it doesn't benefit anyone else if there's discussions in private.
So it's mostly a waste of my very limited time.