I’d like to share my recent experience and hear opinions. I am a new practitioner. And I am a woman. I have been reading the books and currently I am reading “The Eagle’s Gift”. I have treated those as manuals to sorcery and didn’t doubt a thing that happened there so far. I also have been following posts in this channel for the past months. I don’t do Tensegrity or Recapitulation yet - I don’t fully understand them well and I am fine with discovering these in the books later step-by-step.
Meanwhile I have been practicing daylight gazing for at least 1-2 hours a day for the past few weeks. I also made some progress in the dark room: I can see purple whitish lights as the background of black silhouettes. I don’t give them much importance as it seems like a very beginner's thing to experience - but I am still mentioning it for context.
Yesterday something important happened. This is why I am writing the post here. I was just trying to sleep but I had coffee in the evening and I had a very uncomfortable 2 hours trying to succeed. I was not very awake but also definitely not asleep. From time to time, out of frustration and boredom, I was checking if I could see the purple lights with my eyes closed. I could - anytime I wanted to I could do that.
I was laying down on my back with my right hand on my stomach (naturally) and my head tilted a bit to the left side. I was seeing some “well-known” silhouettes with purple lights. At one point I remember I “agreed”(to let it be, to surrender of some kind) to something unreasonable. I remember feeling that “this is absurd, but I don’t care”. I just really wanted to sleep. So, I didn’t evaluate (obviously I forgot what it was or/and I don’t have the ability to comprehend it at this state). At that point I felt my hand curling on my stomach and some energy concentrating on my belly. It felt like my hand was gathering something in the center of my body. Even though there was no reason why I would curl my fingers - I am not even sure that I did. I simultaneously felt the immeasurable pressure in my head, I thought I was gonna pass out or worse. I resisted by realising. Then I heard the cracking sound from my neck. I snapped out of it immediately and was wide awake. I scanned my body and everything was fine, I had a bit of numbness in my legs and arms. Nothing unusual. I remembered that I had read about this in the books, but I didn’t fully grasp what it was. I was not scared, I knew that something happened. I fell asleep instantly.
I later remembered that I have read about this “cracking neck sound” in “The Second Ring of Power” when Carlos was attacked by Dona Soledad and his double took over (as far as I understand). From the posts here I understand this is the AP moving. Is this correct? My concern is that I felt unprepared in that specific moment, when I was very close to something but still resisted. So, I am wondering what is the preparation for that and what can happen to the physical body at that moment? One may just black out? I intend to approach these practices with caution.
Thanks!
2 Comments
That cracking sound almost surely doesn't mean anything to people who weren't "split" by powerful sorcerers, the way Carlos was. Don Juan and Genaro did that to him.
It's likely some old seer magic.
So there's no application to your situation other than you read about it, so that it's a trace concern in your mind which can come out when you are in the second attention. Which happens when you fall asleep, or have just woken up.
More likely is that the click/crack is what we call the "evil clown effect". Where because you were told the inorganic beings might take the shape of an evil clown, that's what you end up seeing.
As for that cracking sound being an indication something "came out", I really doubt that.
My double comes and goes, as does a clear view of the second attention.
I could have shook my double's hand last night, it was so clear.
Whatever else might have come out of Carlos, other than his double, isn't written in any of the 20 books and publications.
And your double coming out (happens during several tensegrity forms), has no connection to a clicking sound.
I've tried to determine if you get better results when you do in fact hear the clicking sound, because perhaps once a month I hear it while gazing.
But it really doesn't seem to have any importance at all.
That's just your neck bones settling to a different position.
Common in meditation. And if it produces any effect that way, it's only because you were dozing off (meditation produces such meager effects it's inevitable to fall asleep), your head fell, and the clicking sound startled you out of being half asleep.
I'd take it as specific to Carlos, and only because of what don Juan and don Genaro did to him.
Which we really don't know anything about.
Keep in mind, I was in private classes with Carlos himself for 3+ years, at least weekly. But sometimes several times a week.
And attended every workshop after 1994, which is pretty much when he started giving them for real. Except Barcelona...
Carlos never bought that clicking thing up, in any lecture I heard.
It might not be a bad idea to take care to prevent yourself from overthinking about that too much and not giving too much importance to sensations, but it's good to notice and keep track of those anomalous perceptions and experiences, because being vigilant in your awareness is part of what you're working towards!
Someone else may have better insight on this, but recapitulation in particular will really help you with that sort of preparation. You will free up more energy that will help you be physically prepared for unpredictable experiences, and you will remain more dispassionate and grounded in the face of the unknown. You'll have more resources at your disposal in the sort of events like you described.
It sounds like you already know you need to practice that, though! Maybe your experiences are a sign you're ready for it, but it sounds like you'll know the right time to start.
Are you exploring and experimenting much with what you're seeing during daylight gazing and darkroom practice? Have you tried interacting with the silhouettes or lights with your hands?
Some of the tensegrity movements really are simple, fun, and pleasurable! 😁 I often feel like a giddy toddler when I get going lol I really enjoy the simple, dance-y movements
How has everything been going with learning to silence your internal dialogue/monologue?