Last night, I was laying in bed chatting with wife about Tensegrity and shutting off internal dialogue. It was a casual conversation, a large puff floated in above me. I got distracted watching it. She nudged me and distracted me back to this awareness. As I was explaining tensegrity, the large geometric/irregular shaped flesh coloured blob appeared. I’ve seen this blob a bunch of times now and in daily awareness, but never in Darkroom. I got a pretty good look at it last night and noticed it has mass and isn’t light and floaty. I dunno how to explain it any other way.
The energy/sights I associated with Darkroom are increasingly present in my daily awareness: the tonal holes, golden fringed holes, puffs, shadow blobs and the really weird flesh coloured blob, often, so often I’m noticing the days when I don’t see them. The irregular shaped flesh blob is wild, I’ve never seen it in Darkroom and I’m never shutting off internal dialogue when it appears.
So……I’m experiencing random shifts of the AP after all the darkroom practice? (Cause that would be cool!)
ChatGPT sketched the image up, it’s not 100% accurate. It’s horseshoes close enough for story telling.
28 Comments
Cool! Sounds like you bringing up topics related to the things showing up. Maybe they're responding to you mentioning them.
Yeah, I've posted about a few of them. Distortions in a wall mounted picture. Brief spots of light, similar to those that show up during passes.
I'm finding it a little easier to stare "in broad daylight" at the fuzziness in vision.
In daylight or daily awareness it seems easier to hold them, its weirdos like that.
At first I caught stuff in my peripheral vision and then it moved front and centre. Those blurs and weird distortions, you mention, will keep increasing and become rips/tears in reality. As you practice and advancing these sights intensify.
I’m thinking my AP has been loosened after almost 2yrs and it’s randomly shifting on its own for whatever reason.
It’s all possibly similar to what schizophrenia is like?
Anyways, I’m not casting final opinion(s) here. As sub we don’t tend to discuss the experiences outside of Darkroom when practitioners least expect it. Can’t imagine what’s it’s like for ppl who’ve been practicing for 10yrs or more.
If we accept that what we're aware of can modify our perception, and we also agree that what is possible to perceive is much greater than what we are currently perceiving, I think it follows that as we develop our awareness we will perceive more.
You can experience a very "tame" (but still amazing, IMO) version of this by looking for a specific color. For example if you look for "red", then red shirts, red cars, red leaves, will pop out and become more noticeable. Then you can change the color you're looking for and your eyes will jump to the items of that new color.
That’s well said/explained, and for what’s it worth I agree with you.
Not that it matters a whole lot; we are probably in similar skill range; giving us experiential understanding. Be great if we can capitalize on that and help one another a long.
Cheers
Well a few days after we chatted, I had another darkroom experience, this time directly after recapitulating. I didn't see your "shapes", but maybe its another example of "what we discuss attracts more of it". There are mentions in the books about people affecting others assemblage points just by being around them. So, thanks for posting and sharing!
That’s awesome! Sorry for delayed reply. Been a wild week for me.
Happens to me as well but it's more fleeting. Usually my head feels "fat" at those times. I think it's a good time to practice tensegrity to be honest.
That’s an interesting description. AP shifts can/do come with physical sensations. I’m not familiar with the “fat” feeling but we all interpret differently.
Hopefully someone else will read your reply and share similar experience.
I shouldn’t be considered knowledgable. I’m struggling to advance myself.
Might want to get that checked out at the doctor, little fella.
Good call. I’ll let your mom have a look big guy 😉
Removed for an unspecified reason. Further details may, or may not, be forthcoming from the mods.
Those being overly disruptive will be temporarily or permanently banned, at the mods discretion. Content will, upon review, be removed.
Those being overly disruptive will be temporarily or permanently banned, at the mods discretion. - This is a blanket rule, meant to give mods a more broadly applicable option for a ban or content removal. People are creative, and one can never predict just what they'll come up with to "stink up the joint."
Banned users still have access to the subreddit, wiki, and all it's resources.
Really cool. Thanks for sharing. Results like these motivate me to keep practicing.
Cheers
That sounds like such a cool experience. When the puffs start becoming really clear, like what you described, what are you supposed to do with them? Should I try touching them, shaping them, or doing something else?
I would say, yes, try and engage or interact. So far I haven’t been able to interact with the puffs, but i relentlessly try…
Women supply energy to male sorcerers without losing anything themselves.
Super amazing magic happens from time to time, just because I'm hanging out with Cholita for a while.
There's nothing surprising or odd about it. We're only stuck in this limited reality due to the awareness of others forcing the emanations up at the blue line on the J curve, to glow too brightly to ignore.
Then as babies our internal dialogue's expectations at the bottom of the motivation for that non-stop verbal commentary, began to form. We thought we were learning everything that could happen that could matter to us in our quest to get our fair share of the human world.
But in fact, we were just producing a permanent "mom" voice nagging us about everything for the rest of our life.
The odd thing is that it's fairly easy to break away from that prison. But if you try the other chickens in that chicken coop, prisoners along with you, peck you on the head to keep you from escaping.
Like that new guy who accused you of mental illness.
If you put even a big toe outside the chicken coop, you get pecked on the head.
Carlos told us this metaphor, explaining that we're food for something else out there which is basically farming the entire human population by keeping their awareness contained in the "me, me, poor baby me" range of emanations down at our toes.
The new guy tried to force your awareness down there, using shame.
Well jokes on him, I’ve been a shameful headcase my whole life and I’ve recently come to enjoy it. Sorcery is the joystick of fun!
(While back, I told a guy on another post to seek medical help cause his description of physical sensations sounded more like he was stroking out than entering Nagual).
So I had a chuckle about it all last night.
I’d really like the wife doing tensegrity, I think she’s thinking about it. Then she can be a real witch not a manopauso variant.
That’s a helluva good analogy with the chickens. We escape the coop only to find something else is harvesting us. All humans notice it, ghosts, cryptids, aliens. We’ve have ample names for it.
Do you think it’s random shifts of the AP? It’s taken me a lot of work to get the little bit I get now. Be nice if it was loosening.
The good news is, it loosens over time. The bad news is, the head chickens in your mind think of new ways to discourage you.
Best to look for non-human/abstract motivations if you can notice that aspect of the second attention. If you instead focus on rewards, you're more vulnerable to self-criticism. If you're focused on the "useless" and discarded emanations, there's nothing to fight against them because according to our sensibilities, there's nothing threatening in perceptual trash. It's always there, but we can easily ignore it.
So it's somewhat "protected" against our internal dialogue.
Carlos advised us to accept the vague and non-concrete, when viewing silent knowledge.
At first, that ends up being like the left side of this picture. Where you completely understand why he said to "accept" it. Noticing that if you can accept it for a long time, perhaps 20 minutes, free flowing silent knowledge in the form of videos in the air might evolve from it.
Except that sleeping walking for 20 minutes is a tall order at first! And gazing at the Nagual looking for Silent Knowledge flows, is indeed "sleepwalking".
Sorcerers are NOT "mindful". That's poisonous thinking. Carlos once made fun of a friend he had at UCLA who was practicing something like "mindfulness" to the point that he walked right into a tree, while Carlos watched him from a distance across the UCLA campus.
Accepting "vague" when gazing for Silent Knowledge will work just as Carlos suggested. But, perhaps it's best if you learn to REALLY "accept" the non-concrete, such that you can focus precisely on that lack of concreteness to dissolve the normal view of the world and let the second attention come out from under it.
It can look like a "destructive smoke" over the environment, in patches.
If Carlos were still around I'd ask him if there's a benefit to accepting the non-concrete, in that once you learn to notice clearly what it is, you can find that during your daily world and make "reality" dissolve to reveal other possibilities.
I was just thinking, “cluck cluck” it’s such a great analogy for me 🐓
And a reminder to control my self talk and ego cause it all comes down to perception. I don’t care about my place in the coop or dominating the other cocks; I need to control my cluck and work for my chance to fly the coop. This Sub and the other practitioners (whether they know it or not) are all helping. I’m grateful 🙏 cluck cluck.
Im still following you to this point - I’m not at 20min of continuous inner silence, which I need to get 20min of SK. HONESTY: I’m poking double digits some days. Maybe 1 in 3 of my practice sessions I enter second attention/Nagual. It’s all still a nose bleeding struggle, turning off internal dialogue and then holding, is distracting and I miss the SK. Does this make sense? (To anyone?)
So far I’m accepting it, yes, but you made the “accept the non-concrete” comment pretty timely cause I’m often looking for more.
You’re saying, when the vague and non-concrete creep into daily awareness we use it to shift into SA?
Letting the SA “come out from under the normal view of the world” is information and technique(?) knowing what you’re getting at, is ALMOST at my fingertips….
THANK YOU! This is one of your replies I’m saving. There’s parts I get and parts I’ll get and need later.
I'm not quite saying that, but perhaps I ultimately am from a practical point of view.
It's more like, during darkroom you learn "tricks".
Which can't usually be described in a useful way, but I try anyway to keep people motivated to work hard(er).
Those tricks get you excited at first, with each one seeming revolutionary.
But after the 1000th "revolutionary" trick you realize those just aren't going to add up to do the job of getting you to where the senior members of the lineages got.
The tricks perhaps exist only because there's so many layers of reality to pass through along the movement of the assemblage point's path towards Silent Knowledge.
The goal Carlos gave us since we have no wise leaders anymore. He felt that only in SK could we gain new guidance.
People go wrong, get lazy, and motivations in a group can deviate. But the universe is conscious, and that consciousness can become your guide.
Eventually, you realize that the tricks you learn along the way only seemed meaningful.
Because what's meaningful in one reality, makes absolutely no sense in others.
The tricks are kind of like the inorganic beings promising to teach you magic forever, if you go live in their world.
Yes... They could do that.
And you still wouldn't be where you want to get.
It would be like a rock hound teaching you all of their secret rock finding tricks.
And then a bird watcher teaches you all of their tricks.
Or a hunter like don Juan teaches you all of his tricks for trapping quail.
From the point of view of sorcery, all of those could be used as a metaphor to help you seem to be learning something important. But in the long run only moving the assemblage point through silence makes any real difference.
Thus there's people pretending to be alternatives to Carlos, because they can list "inventory items" from the first 3 books, and are so confused they believe those are meaningful.
But past book 3 they can't pretend as much because there's actual impossible magic being performed in those. And without the drugs...
Entertaining distractions just lead to confusion over what sorcery really is.
Which is ok in the lineages, since nearly all of their teaching takes place in heightened awareness. Out of sight to the apprentice.
We don't have that, so our path is even more linear than a beginner might hope for.
Causing us to focus on the tricks we pick up, as a sign of progress.
But really... Did you get where we all want to get, which is to be able to do things like we read about in Carlos and the witch's books?
If anyone runs into Carol Tiggs, by the way, ask her to release her book. And if she didn't finish it, then just take a cue from Kafka and don't worry if it's finished or not. He was an insect shapeshifter too...
The not concrete sights in darkroom can have waves flow over them.
It's a visual thing.
One looks like grey smoke. You can then look for that outdoors.
But only while forcing silence! At least, for the men.
Women might be able to notice something, and then they can find it again without the nose bleeds.
I identified a type of golden white wave last night, but it was so vivid that it surprised me.
So I couldn't see it a second time.
I started "looking for it", which is death to real magic.
Typically with the vague stuff, you aren't excited to be looking for that in the future. It's basically what feels like a failure of seeing.
But that gives it an advantage, because you don't become obsessed over it and make it go away with your efforts.
Then later on you can recall that it wasn't entirely vague everywhere. For example, it might have had waves flowing through it, if examined with peripheral vision.
My favorite "trick" is the "Cholita Zone" where she might appear.
It seems to be a view of the sleeping dreaming world, but while awake.
Aye! Saved this one. My Dan folder is huge, but the info is valuable to my progress.
I worked the overnight last night. At 3am I was outside forcing silence while I walked. I was so focused on the nose bleeding struggle I was missing the changes to perception. That’s when sounds increased in volume and the path I was walking began to rise and distort into a shimmery/vaporous stand of trees. I dropped outta the second attention and back into this reality thinking, it’s self talk and without that; the brain stops interfering/manipulating the world the eyes are bringing back. One of my few SK moments…? It seemed revolutionary in that moment, but today, I dunno. Seems like something basic to the effort.
I do "the right way of walking" in darkness, forcing silence. In fact, I'm going out right now to do it, right at twilight before the sunrise.
It's an excellent technique!
Unfortunately, it's become obvious in this subreddit that finding time to practice is the biggest barrier for most people.
It's likely why people try to use sleeping dreams to learn. Because their life doesn't let them practice something as seemingly delusional as sorcery.
When don Juan said that all of our energy was deployed on the ordinary reality, that's not necessarily entirely a magical thing.
It has ordinary aspects. Such as that you can't practice when you want to. Thus his recommendation for "controlled folly".
I'm lucky to have Cholita around. She despises me, so she's not trying to use up any of my practice time.
I need to get into the right way of walking to work on shutting off my internal dialogue, it’s tough cause I always have to take my dog when I walk. I also have to work on controlled folly. It’s a good technique for lessening self importance. Thanks for mentioning it.
Alot of ppl have significant others who doesn’t practice. That makes it challenging, especially if they’re trying to hide it. My Subreddit age is 2yrs that’s how long I’ve been practicing and I’m still motivated everyday. I don’t have much interest or trust in males who are new and claim to do dreaming. It’s bullshit.
I have really been thinking that pretending while seriously practicing is necessary, or maybe helpful to advance, it’s how you get a feel for tensegrity while shutting off internal dialogue. I think trick is not knowing that you’re pretending.
I was gazing at shadows made by street lights late last night. For the second time now, I saw that at night shadows don’t lay flat; they’re puffy and cloud like. You can also see through them as if they’re not there.
>Kafka ... He was an insect shapeshifter too...
That's a funny idea, hah.
Cholita has a fly swatter on her desk most of the time, so I don't have to worry about her doing that.
I've seen her shapeshifted into a dilute colored cat, but it was at least 4 feet tall and standing on its hind legs.
Which messes up the whole effect, even if you see it while fully awake.
You still don't believe it, later on.
I suspect that it's impossible to learn sorcery without some kind of group, even if it's just a marginal group like we have in here.
On your own you might get a certain distance, until it's so unbelievable that you talk yourself out of it over time, and give up.
The old seers kept pushing because they had competition from other old seers.
Congratulations! Thats really cool.
It very impressive to me you are brave enough to share all this with people in your life. Also that they listen to you and seem to accept your experiences. It'd be pretty wild if you married a witch before she found our she was a witch lol.
Thank you. I wouldn’t say she listens to me, more like humours me and mostly bosses me around 😂
It would be wild if I could get her to try and intent sets the hook.
I think alot of ppl are tip toeing around significant others to practice. I can’t do that, I’m clumsy like a bull in a china shop.
Cheers