Just curious. I became a fan of Carlos’ books in 1975. I am a self admitted lurker here. Reason being is because I found a real connection to the world of warriors then, and have referenced every action I have taken in this world by remembering Carlos’s apprenticeship. I still curl my fingers when I walk and look at the left eye, looking for omens. Not doing (contrare) and undoing. I recapitulate daily. I don’t try to do these things; it just seems to have became internalized. His books and the experiences contained seemed so familiar; it was like reading my life story. Sometimes I think about leaving my normal life and just walking into obscurity. Leaving everything and heading for the jungle.
Of course I have no more personal power that others; I just feel that I lost course many years ago and now I am really lost. Not trying to call anyone out just curious about who had direct contact with Casteneda.
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First, I use "apprentices" as an "in your face" contrary term.
If you've read my posts, you know I'm a contrarian.
That's because, I saw how the conventional failed in Carlos' students.
So let's try something different.
It's contrary to the accepted terminology to call former private class members "apprentices".
Only the inner circle were officially apprentices.
Everyone else was just some lucky schmuck.
Or maybe one of the real apprentices had the hots for them.
That could explain the Europeans.
I got in for being a pest.
So you're asking people to violate an unwritten rule.
"Students" is the preferred term.
There's Cholita and me.
I'm afraid, if there's any others in here, they've adopted erasing personal history and stalking too well.
But Cholita actually pokes around in here.
Once in a while I come home, and she has an angry look.
She only says, "I read some..."
And in fact, some of what I write was on the insistence of Cholita.
She's fond of telling the authorities, she's a "saint". So cut her some slack.
Saint Cholita.
(Works better with her real name).
I apologize for any offense. It was not intended. Thank you for your response. Btw....I had you picked out already.
Trying to pride someone into admitting their association, huh! It could work. Dan's been trying for a year, with no openly admitted (by others) results.
They've apparently either integrated into life, like you, or have latched onto another group or tradition for community or recognition (what they actually primarily wanted)...or they became petty tyrants.
It's alright to desire community, as long as it's secondary to self-actualization, and doesn't derail it with egregious populist concerns.
Unfortunately that seems to be what always happens when enough mass accumulates.
So if too much mass is deadly to a group. We need to Goldilocks it; just the right amount, and ruthlessly maintain it at that level.
That's a good thing to comment on.
Sorcery isn't like stamp collecting.
It's not like juggling.
It's not like anything else we can learn to do.
That's one of the problems with learning it. It's different than anything else we've tried to do.
You can't memorize facts, show up and put in your classroom time, get a fun study buddy, graduate and get a diploma, or anything else we associate with learning.
And when other people hear you're trying to learn this, they'll punish you.
So there's even no encouragement.
Carlos liked to call it Navigating, because you're out traveling alone, trying to find your way.
But I think a better term at our point is "Fishing".
You don't have any power at all over what kind of fish you catch.
You can fish in specific waters, and get an idea of what might be there, but you can't demand that the same fish you caught the night before jumps onto your hook.
Also, while you're fishing for the kind of spooky fish we're after, you have to stay in that area.
You can't keep moving the boat around. You have to study the waters for a while.
So a fishing trip needs to be several days for most effectiveness.
This group is like a fishing club.
But everyone has to be fish alone, because the lakes on which we fish are private for now.
My analogy breaks down here.
It's as if the lakes on which we fish are merely dreams.
And everyone in the fishing club has a little power over them.
am at a point in my life where i feel particularly lost as well...
as if i feel my whole time here on this planet, if is is a planet (see, dunno what to think about information/indoctrination sources lately)??
as just as an avid dabbler in anything remotely fascinating to me.
is this a mid-life crisis?
do we all figure out how to be sorcerers on the pane/edge of death?
some seek it prior, some testify to the extra-sensory, or some can easilier navigate or 'fish' in a formless body once relieved of the flesh?
and am now discovering how much interest i really have in this -
almost as a desperation, like, i must learn to find my way, or no peace, no outside sources are going to be even remotely fulfilling.
I am responding as a direct reply, as I am not officially a contributor. Vernacular in quotation.
You will find your answer at the moment of transition, as we all will. The “path of the warrior” is to get a glimpse of eternity before we pass the barrier. Some tools you will find here will help you with that. There is magic in the world; higher (and lower) planes of existence. I have seen it in my youth. Even spoke to a crow one time. Crazy right??
Most resort to power plants to attain the heightened awareness; but the necessity of a guide cannot be over stated. You can lose your mind and become a casualty. “Impeccable warriors” can retain their conscientiousness forever; as has been the sorcerers tradition since ancient times. Sadly most with not, and that is the human condition “food for the Eagle”. The “Eagle’s gift” is the mental discipline required to see the way, and achieve that. As “human beings” we have that unique capacity. Don’t be desperate. Live your life. Find your passion. Even so Sorcerers have sadness.
yeah, am trying not to take desperate action, but am pretty full of anxiety and frustration with a lot of things, sometimes my own decisions recounted can cause this..
certainly hoping for a transition soon!
thanks