In this life there are few things as good as shitting before darkroom practice!
A great warm up!
Of course light does not limit colors. The magic you are learning is real, and with practice you will be able to see it even in sunlight.
This week I've been discovering the power of playing with colors.
Dan always insisted on this, and I listened to him. But I used to do a half hour to make him happy, and then I went to what interested me! The incredible detailed views.
I thought, "Meeh, Dan is old, that's why he likes the puffs."
But hell! Now I can say that scooping colors is my most reliable strategy.
Having the darkroom "working" is a delightful feeling. Now I feel with that kind of control.
So if before there was a madman, now there are two! PLAY WITH THE COLORS!
Inner silence and colors
After an hour and a half, I made all the way down of the J curve to heightened awareness.
As soon as my breathing changed, I heard a loud sound in my room. Normally I would have been startled. Instead, I was absolutely indifferent. You enter in a "don't-care" state.
And it turns out that Lida did it too!!! You will see her drawing for sure.
Darkroom is definitely what cool young people do on a friday night.
Talking with her, we conclude that the transition to heightened awareness is more linear than we thought.
It is controlling the internal dialogue until the breathe changes, and you begin to "dream" awake. An automatic stomach breathe.
We also agree that it is MUCH simpler than you think.
All you have to do is force a better silence, while playing with the colors. One way to evaluate it is to observe how much you get lost in the stories in your head.
For example: "oh, what a nice color -> I'm going to draw it -> my reddit friends are going to love it -> I'm learning a lot of things"
No. Wrong attitude.
To enter heightened awareness it should be:
"oh, what a nice color -> total silence-silence"; "I feel good! -> total silence-silence".
You should feel the thoughts interrupt your stillness. That simple.
17 Comments
Yes. You'll find you can't continue the internal narrative from the position you currently occupy.
It's magical that it operates all by itself, this fundamental internal change. But it isn't really a change, rather a return to original operating conditions.
But you still have the "choice" to return to the dialogue.
I guess you have to be "full" on heightened awareness for complete silence. I haven't been there yet.
Wow, this is so exciting! Congrats, Juan. Looks like you've finally reached a better level of silence, for which you were striving.
And a valuable advice for us.
Yes! It is such an easy thing, but still it takes a long time to achieve it.
It is because we are professional mental masturbators. We are used to let the internal dialogue take over.
You just have to put effort on forcing silence as much as you can.
Yes! Thanks for the constant reminder.
How much of your day would you say you try to stay silent?
At first is hard and odd. We're too used to the fucking internal dialogue we think that's who we are.
Where do you move from when silent? I don't know if it makes sense, but when silent is like you have to move from a different place, it's like a feeling.
I can see why some get scared about it. Intuitively I believe silence leads to losing the human form and the ego is terrified.
The ego tries to convince us we have to keep talking. We have to get back to our normal way of being which is actually some sort of robotic sleep.
I think the only way to learn silence is to transform it into a "new point of view". In fact we are looking for that. Getting away from the normal position of the assamblage point.
You simply take out the impact of the internal dialogue, little by little. You become more aware of everything that comes from there.
Of course, while at work I am not deliberately forcing silence at every moment. But you learn to listen to yourself, even if you are not trying it.
Things that would have irritated me before, now I contemplate them calmly. Every time I complain about something, I hear myself do it and it automatically stops.
It is literally disidentifying from the internal dialogue. If you manage to maintain that state of lightness throughout your day, in practice it is the same, but in a more intense level.
Absolutely control every word in your head. And since you are already used to not getting carried away easily, it gets much easier for you.
Yes I know what you mean. You stop being the voice. It can be weird at first. The thing is you have to do it enough to realize the voice IS NOT you!
Once you realize that, it is soooo easy. Because you also become aware that the internal dialogue is what keeps you suffering!
I promiss. Every negative feeling through the day is the dialogue. We can live in a very balanced way without it.
While keeping the dialogue, we are choosing to be heavy and unhappy. Not kidding, you can really get away from that.
Definitely that internal voice is not us.
When you get more and more silent in your daily regular life everything begins to feel empty.
You realize everything is empty and nothing matters anymore.
People who have their internal dialogue full on think they have a purpose or meaning, but they're actually just floating on a stream being pushed this way or another.
That's what I mean when I ask where do you move from now.
Like a bird that has spent his whole life inside a cage when he is released he doesn't know what to do. They might even get right back to the cage.
Sometimes I truly feel I'm dissolving, but I just keep on going and act soberly. Looking from the outside you wouldn't imagine there's anything going on.
Maybe it's a matter of stabilizing the AP in it's new position. Stalking?
This quote from A separate reality is relevant:
"My point is, don Juan, that if nothing matters to you, how can you go on living?"
He laughed and after a moment's pause, in which he seemed to deliberate whether or not to answer, he got up and went to the back of his house. I followed him.
"Wait, wait, don Juan." I said. "I really want to know; you must explain to me what you mean."
"Perhaps it's not possible to explain," he said. "Certain things in your life matter to you because they're important; your acts are certainly important to you, but for me, not a single thing is important any longer, neither my acts nor the acts of any of my fellow men. I go on living, though, because I have my will. Because I have tempered my will throughout my life until it's neat and wholesome and now it doesn't matter to me that nothing matters. My will controls the folly of my life."
What would you say the will is? Having energy, maybe, or stabilizing the AP.
Learning to let go and just act...
Ohh, ok. Well, I am definitely not as empty as Don Juan!
I don't have that level of silence. Dan is closer, because he can hold heightened awareness longer.
But what moves you is the path with heart. That's the "will"; the conection to Intent. The magic you see when you close your eyes.
Since we don't have lineages, we continue doing ordinary things everyday. But I am pretty sure Intent can also guide you in it.
You still have a job, study in the university, maybe do sports too. All of those become hobbies! And they are part of the path with heart.
You "just do" what you have to. If you are silent enough, and have a clear link to Intent, you can't help but be Impeccable in everything you do.
I guess being a warrior is the least counter Intent way of behaving.
Sorcery is a long way. "You must wait patiently, knowing that you’re waiting, and knowing what you’re waiting for."
And meanwhile you enjoy life! In silence it is very easy to do!
Gotta clean that link up.
After a point it's maybe all we've got. There's no going back.
Maybe the problem is when the AP is still too erratic or we don't yet have the energy to stabilize it in a new position.
I've been in that silent place where everything just makes sense and every single breathe you take is ecstatic.
Just wish I could make it last longer. Working on it!
Thanks Juan. 😊
Don't worry. Little by little, that moment of silence is lengthening. You start realizing that when you are an idiot during the day, in practice you need twice the effort!
So little by little you change in relation to that. I am exactly at that point; not so far from you. The thing is that when you begin to control it, your assamblage point will move so much easier!
The dialogue don't eat all of your energy, and you can use it in darkroom for exploring the unknown. I guess that's when the second enemy, "clarity", appears.
You realize nothing stops you from going deep into crazy trances. You just force silence, and wondeful things happen! I mean, really wonderful things. That's why you can easily get lost on that.
So when facing "clarity", you need to look for Intent advice. You have to learn to listen to what the spirit whispers in your ear.
> I thought, "Meeh, Dan is old, that's why he likes the puffs.
Probably. My teeth aren't all that good anymore.
But in fact, Carlos emphasized this. When I get too tied up exploring the second attention, I remember the sad grin Carlos had at times, trying to show us how to manipulate energy with our hands.
He introduced puffery from that start! But he hid it in "kung fu moves". Once in a while he'd taunt us, by imitating what you ought to be looking like when you "redeploy energy".
But that was the closest he came to simply telling us what it was all about.
It wasn't until he was dying that he actually just stood in front of us and did it without the kungfu.
He set it up. Had the women spread rumors, Carlos was finally going to show us real magic.
3 classes ahead too, so we anticipated the magic twice before he gave the demonstrations. On the days he didn't, you could see women running from the stairs as Carlos entered, and other women asking them from the back, "today???".
The men were all excited. I swear Felix was taking mental notes, so he could use it to write a book later on. He was always short on cash.
Corey was probably just hoping "daddy" would finally love his family and do right by them.
And of course we saw absolutely nothing but Carlos making a fool of himself, manipulating invisible balls of energy.
You could hear the grumbling after that class.
So once in a while, when I'm trying to open a tunnel into infinity, I remember Carlos trying to show us how to compress a chi ball.
I go back to it, and realize my chi balls suck these days. They probably look like a beginner's chi ball.
So I play with them, until they don't. Until they become so solid you can wipe them on the back of your pants like bacon grease.
Every time I do that I realize, why don't I do more of that???
Not the part about using my pants for a napkin. Cholita says I have to stop doing that. Her clothes are always so clean, it only takes a few grains of soap to wash them.
But we see the "puffery snobs" in here.
Someone will succeed in seeing a big red dot. Or a purple blob.
And then they ask, "What do I do next?"
Translation: this is boring.
🤣
Maybe if you had been in a darkroom, having done the work, silent enough...
Maybe he realized the warning from don Juan, that we're crap to the very end, was in front of his eyes.
But he tried anyway.
Will we ever change? Shit, now I'm just being dramatic.
I'd better shut up and keep practicing.
I’m not going to lie and say I practice sorcery in the darkroom, I don’t.
Yet I will say that colours play at part in finding the right spot to occupy.
This occupation does not actually mean just a specific spot either like CC wrote about. While identifying a hue within the scope of perception can tell u to stay, leave or run it also plays a part in identifying feelings associated with stalking.
Correctly identifying specific hues within the scope of perception can guide you along your path because it is how energy flows through the universe.
The hues are a manifestation of that energy within the scope we can perceive and at a level that floats somewhere between the attentions.
Using this correctly can have an effect on all your interactions including people, places and things.
I personally believe this was the intent behind these teachings.
stalking? like spying on someone?
No Stalking is the practice of living in the moment where all perception is filtered as it happens.
It is a real time effort aimed at eliminating the need for a lengthy recapitulation because you weave the energies as they get thrown at you.
Stalking is an aim at the examination of your actions, feelings and thoughts as they take place.... slowing down time I order to arrange their outcome.
This effort will shape the way you live and place topics like stopping the world, petty tyrants, the internal dialogue right in your face 24/7.
It frees up energy to allow for better dreaming and over all well being.
For years I was lost in the romantic notion of dreaming and how I wanted to be a better dreamer. This all came crashing down when I realized I am a stalker and sometimes scary good at it.
So if you’re in internal dialogue and if you want to avoid it, there is a very easy shortcut. It is about “desires”.
At the moment, (when you started thinking) you desire to not think. But how can you do that, if that’s already a desire?
“So basically you need to do the opposite”
You need to experience that moment in your mind, when you realize that you need to not think. And that realization(thought)is - I need to.. Not.. ? (Think) when for no reason you can be Silent. You can everything 💜
I woul’d like to invite Red/Green energy section candidates to message me, I have a few words for ya. Ofc if you see ma first comment in subreddit hehe:3
For those who is beyond guru’s “explanation”
So if you’re in internal dialogue and if you want to avoid it, there is one of more effective shortcut’s. It is about “desires”.
At the moment, (when you started thinking) you desire to not think. But how can you do that, if that’s already a desire?
So you wanna make ya don’t desire anything, without desiring, just force yourself to be silent, “unforcerly”
“Oops, I started thinking.. Ahhh” then not specific mind appears, but feeling, that you have some kind of desire attached to not thinking. And if thoughts appears, when you have this feeling - you lose:D So with this is very easy and effective to play in no time.
“So basically you need to do the opposite”
Try it, fight it, and be rewarded :D
So in this form of fighting, i forced myself to be absolutely silent for 3 months (from my first day of awakening). Everyday I coul’d catch any thought, and shut it down in seconds. So I coul’d do that (effectively) in any extreme situatition, in any adventure.
But I didn’t had “mind information” (yet) about all this happiness and this stuff.. I just had strong feelings about everything, because I felt everything, you know..(i will not start “quetes for beginners”:D)
Before my awakening I was Not practicing meditation.
All of this was a moment miracle.
At those very first days, weeks, first months.. Everyday I was fighting my mind.
I knew one: that I was kinda starting to appreceate my Ego that I hated all the time before. I was running, and running. From my mind. And I had that strong feeling (about my mind, about my ego) that it could destroy me, those suicidal thoughts.. Until I had one of those special Lucid Drems.
But it was different.
My Ego’s scary looking black face in fron on my eyes. Just staring at me, smelling me. And in those seconds, I felt in those seconds, that this is probably the “world-upside down” situation. So, [how do I react]? In that moment, I was feeling love for my old “bad side”, I started crying. I was not afraid for such level. For the first time in my life. In the worst ever scenario, where it’s just catastrofical.
From that night, I was able to be friends with my ego. I was still watching my mind, but not that carefully, because I had so much more power. Ofc weeks passed and I gathered lots of information about it, but from my own intuition.
Had those LSD experiences, nearly death moments.
Know the “Angel’s of death” feeling
One night, when my all existence merged: I was feeling overpowered, had best so ever experiences in that moments. For this thing to happen it’s all clear that I had to accept all the energy of absolutely everything. It just happend, all the existence throw me happened. And ofc there was an a pretty scary one (energy). My reactions for it (like a cat:D) started to work all different then ever before. Felt like I was not seeing the devil.. Not in other room or something. But like I was that devil it self. And those moments was the most happy and beautiful actually, pretty scary :D But I was able to defend myself, and accept those scary energies the way they are - in few seconds. That “scary’nes” was like my body reflect’s, first time impression. In that kind of moments it’s very easy to separate your internal health and “ego”. So for about 15 minutes I had this trip, my reactions was “woooouu” like always :Dd Then I started to feel colours. Literally, all the energy.. I closed my eyes. Rainbow colours appeared one by one, slowly. First: red, 5 seconds later: yellow.. About 10 different colours in 4K hd, in those moments I felt overpowered once again. Then I had a feeling, why not PURPLE? Purple was starting to appear after 3 seconds, but until that I had a bunch of visions (that my nagual already know) - how the purple created? How all of that feeling created that I’m able to feel. I always felt that colour purple is everything 💜 (green and red colours secret) plays a big role before those 3 seconds, until the Purple. 3 seconds passed. And I’m fully - there. Everywhere. Home. I was able to feel and understand time, universe, my spirit.
It was the same end like in avatar’s “An’s” meeting with himself, in other dimension, in everywhere, in nowhere.. At the same time. And not in time..
It’s that moment, when you completely let go all existence actually. Not some specific mind, specific feeling.. But everything.
There was all of this univere energy, absolutely everything. Talking was no needed. Nothing was no needed, there is no time actually. All of that always reminds me (Low-High) “form”. All that paradise has everything, the sound is gorgeous.. But at the same time? Guess what? That silent..... So I met me there, I didn’t have (people’s perspectice dialogue) with that energy, but I gave me energy, also received, that’s what happened. I felt like in a universe’s debate, where from like every point goes some kind of energy and does things, being aware, just exists. Felt like in magical place, because everything is me.
So, lets call this a few of my many “with bigger names” experiences. I have lot’s of other cool stuff to tell about, with all tiny details. About everything. Can talk about ego shit as well, it’s not that hard, for real :D Can be ur guru, as you can see, im already pissed of me writing. But I want to develop my english a little bit more, also it’s pretty fun to talk about this kind of stuff. What I’m searching for is beyond limits, it’s in “miracle” in magical level. So if you’re the same, please text me. (Don’t know why, I just feel) throw a very little effort, because I mastered to “not to do, not to want, don’t think, accept absolutely everything, and realise this in every moment. Without thinking. Omg I’m so sleeeeeppyyyy:D And yeah, GO CHECK OUT AVATAR’S VIDEO ABOUT MANTRA’S!!!!!!
Greetings from Lithuania, I’m 20 years old. 9 months of awareness.
💜
I woul’d like to invite Red/Green energy section candidates to message me, I have a few words for ya. Ofc if you see ma first comment in subreddit hehe:3