I'm having trouble holding onto colors, but if I close my eyes and reach out, move around and stuff - I can FEEL energy, I can feel stuff, like a cobweb, or where my hand "catches" on something in the air... I can feel my assemblage point, I'll sometimes just set my hand in it, and that helps see colors more...sometimes I play around with my wife's while she's sleeping and i'm focusing on colors too...is that bad?
Is it possible, that some people could perceive differently? Could there be some people who maybe get the assemblage point to move through just feeling for the energy in the room, instead of looking with the eyes?
What about other sensory methods of discovering the 2nd attention? Sound, Smell, Taste?
I'm assuming I'll be able to see eventually, I just need better focus, and intent, etc.
I did have this experience from last night:
Last night a light shine through my dark room from a flood light outside somewhere, and oddly I found more colors with a little light disturbing the dark, and could see puffs of smoke in the semi-dark room if I looked at the darkest part of the room...
I don't know what any of that means, just frustrated I'm not seeing more, is it odd I saw colors w/ light disruption?
I had tingles before, now I'm maybe reverting to old ways/thought patterns, so I'm losing it... silence is easier some days than others I guess. Some days I get dragged back into caring about politics/etc... Can't be a monk everyday in the real world, it's hard to avoid everything.
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Yes. Feeling, hearing, or even smelling energy are just as valid. It's about preference and proclivity.
And yes a tiny bit of light can help get things going. That is the light balancing process in the eyes that generate the colors, that the second attention will hook onto when silent.
Not getting distracted by that little bit of light, takes practice, or another layer of deployable blackout material.
“seeing” is not only related to sight but all 5 senses. But of course sight is the most pleasing I would say followed by sound.
Are you sure you want to be "smelling" the second attention?
I can just see it now!
Fancy is showing me how to shapeshift into a fly, I smell something, and I have to turn to her and ask, "Did you fart?"
Why not I heard people with synesthesia can smell colors. I'm hoping the second attention smell is pleasing to the nose but I'd like to avoid IOB farts.
Try an experiment. Tell your IOB not to fart and see what happens.
It'll probably do it anyways 😂
But that's a fun way to move the AP, a scent coming from no where that you can zone in on.
I could imagine them farting something really odd smelling like: Gwyneth paltrows vagina candle scent whatever that smells like, cotton candy, rotting corpses, tuna fish, sulfur, flower petals...
Partial room light can work even better for finding puffs.
But at higher levels of silence, it's a distraction for things that can happen there.
Not fatal, but I sure wouldn't want light around.
Eventually you end up in a phantom copy of your room! Every night.
And you can often see through the wall. But usually what you see is extremely hard to make out.
You want light from the "real" room coming in?
For puffs, no big deal.
Yes, you can move the assemblage point with the cobwebs. The further along you go, the stronger they become.
If there comes a time when you think one of the cobwebs you find is a real one, and you keep testing it in the darkness over and over with it behaving like a real object, but you can't account for the absolute lack of stickiness, that's quite fun. When it turns out to not be real.
It's good for your sorcery abilities to get confused like that. Loosens up Mr. DoubleTake if his abilities are proven wrong.
If you get good at cobwebs, be sure to check out places where tens of thousands of people walk by in a single day. Reach your hand down like there was 2 inches of water there, and try to scoop it into your hand. If you find cobwebs, pour them over your head.
Beijing subway exits are good for that. Probably NY would have some.
Times Square, not so much I suspect. Could be it's walking up the ramp of the exit that causes more cobwebs to be deposited.
But I'm not a big fan of "feeling" too much, because the entire Castaneda community managed to pretend themselves into a pit. Now many of those are stuck down there angry, because they've been saying fraudulent things for years, regarding their mental masturbations.
So they can never wake up, since they have raging internal dialogues.
They confuse the people who might otherwise "get real" by insisting pretending is the same as real, and real is dangerous.
But I also don't like stalking for the same reasons. Easy to pretend "I'm a stalker".
Any of the private class who still "dabbles" is doing that. Pretending to be stalking all these years. They still pass around inspirational quotes, and on one has anything intelligent to say about them other than, "How inspiring!!!"
And yet, stalking pushes the assemblage point so that it remains moved for weeks.
And the isolated darkroom practice might tend to increase the number of people who return to the "river of filth".
Don Juan warned about that in his analogy. Sorcerers are waiting on the shore to hose off anyone who manages to crawl out of the muck.
But after being hosed off, most return to the river because it's cold on the shore, and the river of sewage is "cozy".
Darkroom is even less "cozy" than other sorcery practices.
At least stalking is "fully integrated" with normal life.
RIP op’s question
edit: don’t know what I am doing here
Certain types of feeling are seeing. The main point is direct knowledge/awareness not based on reason. Relax with your style and odds are other forms of seeing will automatically surface. relaxed intention is the basic exercise, then being open to odd types of perceptions to be. Slightly crossing eyes is a support as is waiting to see light in semi-darkness or darkness. Seeing requires connectivity and feeling is a sure way to get there.