Beginner's log: Slow but recognizable progress.....

Hi,

after several months of work (tensegrity, stalking, recap, dreaming and some DRP) I finally see some progress. I may be slow in my advancement, however, even the little incidences of success give me massive pushes of motivation.

I plan to make a post within the next weeks describing my wrestling with stalking. It was no joke.

Allow me to try to describe what I think I achieved so far. In a nutshell, I was able to "close" at least some of the holes in my energy body. Yes, that may not sound like much, but it actually is. For me personally, it did not take long to realize that jumping straight into the dark room without any pre-work would not make much sense. In a way, one has to earn it. Why?

Well, let me try to give an answer that somehow makes sense. Things such as "socialization", "conditioning", "knowledge", "rationality" etc. CAN create literal HOLES in your energy body. That can sometimes mean that your AP is neither very flexible, or gets "stuck" at certain places on the J-curve. In very plain terms, your consciousness cannot expand beyond certain levels without going through these techniques.

However, luckily, the practices explained by Castaneda give us a chance to counter that. Yes, it is a lot of work. It is not something you can just do within a few weeks, but then again, I am sure there are people out there who are "naturals" or had upbringings whereby there was a place for the "magical things" of life.

Today, I had a beautiful experience and that is why I decided to do this post. Suddenly, out of nowhere, I suddenly felt something I have never felt before. Literally when I was working, a "vibrating sensation" in my forehad (a quite pleasant one) appeared. I immediately knew that "something" was going on. I went outside to a park. There were birds peacefully strolling around. The pavement was made of these little limestones. I sat on a bench and starred at these stones and the complex pattern. Suddenly, I entered some kind of "wake dream". I was fully awake, however, my eyes did not focus on one particular object, but "took a step back". Shortly after, that pattern on the ground starting "waving" and "breathing". The only thing which would remind me of something like this would have been years ago when I had a psychedelic phase (but for years I have not taken anyhing). It was beautiful. I realized that I was in some kind of "second attention" mode. It went on for more than a minute, not just a few seconds. What a pity there was no dark room nearby, I wish I could have quickly entered one and "push" the whole thing further. Because it appeared that I would have been able to. I never had "open eye visuals" like that before (not induced by anything).

The whole day I felt "high vibrational" and really good. Yes, things are finally happening. Finally, some of the "damages" in the energy body are repaired. But there is still more work to do. Next I will focus on recap. It is funny because I experienced recap to be more fun than most people. For me, the stalking was a bigger deal.

Anyways. I feel that soon, I will be much better prepared to focus on the dark room. But not yet. Still more pre-work I have to do. No shortcuts. And I am confident that once I am ready, the dark room will be the next stage of my path. Yes, I can already see the puffs and I can perceive the IOBs' wink. But I do not want to show up "with a knife to a gun fight". And I do not mean that in an aggressive manner.

Anyways, I keep you udpated. Step by step. Wish me luck.

FF