Also I absolutely forgot about all the experiences that I wrote about when I did darkroom last time for 3 times and posted about it, i have reread it and I'm getting weird feeling that it will pull me into not knowing anything again, It's all really weird with this magic or I'm bipolar batshit crazy and begging to realize that.
Edit: It's like after couple of weeks after I quit all the substances that were changing my view I'm starting to see with this another kind of attention again and everything slowly pours back, would appreciate some advice, I know I may be lost cause in many eyes but I'll fight till I die so no quitting
[-]
u/silence_sam
3 points2022-07-23 17:36
Just forget all that and reject any self pity that comes up for you. Catch yourself whining or worrying, and just stop it. Tell yourself in your head “I reject those thoughts” and just be silent as best you can, and let the feelings flow out of you.
Eventually that will be your new habit, staying completely conscious and aware of what’s running through your mind at all times, and curbing it every time it starts.
Drain yourself of it. Drain the energy out of whatever you have inside that makes you feel that way.
If you have some incessant thoughts like that, it’s probably because you have many experiences of “proving to yourself” those thoughts are true. IE parents, teachers, role models, YOU telling you things and doing things to you. It’s like a reservoir of absolute shit inside of you and it’s leaking out.
Drain the reservoir. Recapitulate your life.
Edit: I also recommend finding some go-to method to gain some personal power in an instant. Some breathing technique coupled with a magical pass or something, to get your attention out of your mind and back to reality.
Have you ever had a huge cry, or some other emotional outburst, and when it was done you took that huge breath that almost quivered your insides and made you feel better, like “put back together” for a moment? Maybe when you were a kid, crying until you forgot what you were upset about, and that big breath came and it was over. That’s an emotional recovery breath. It’s energizing. If you’re having a hard time, you can take a deep breath way down into your belly and gain a bit of energy it seems, then you can remember who the fuck you are and get back to business.
[-]
u/silence_sam
6 points2022-07-22 21:03
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you can’t really fight with yourself to change. It has to come from a deeper level. What I mean is, the crying man baby can’t change the crying man baby, the roots have to get ripped out if you get my meaning.
Recapitulation, read all you can about it and beat it into your head how important it is.
I think it all starts there, especially for people like you, with all that shit in your head.
[-]
u/Luksan7
2 points2022-07-23 04:49
Thank you
[-]
u/hanskey
4 points2022-07-22 21:13
Hello!
Sounds like your intent is to work on it - that's good.
That means you know what you need to do next -
Swap out some shitty habits for some good ones.
Learn a bit of Tensegrity well enough to do in the dark.
Get comfortable with recap and do a bit everyday.
Do some dark room, and do some Tensegrity and recap in the dark room.
Do the above every day as much as you can every day.
It's not a dick measuring contest, and you have to be inventive and playful to stick at it and overcome your blocks.
Dump "poor baby me" to see what else there is to you and reality, because that's in your way and taking all your energy.
If you're serious about not seeking attention then, instead of posting, DM the mods to add you to the general chat.
This post itself reeks of attention-seeking, but it could be a statement of intent instead and that's how I take it, because I trust that you have the personal power to make this a statement of intent.
Wish you well.
Bye!
[-]
u/[deleted]
1 points2022-07-22 21:14deleted
[removed]
[-]
u/AutoModerator
1 points2022-07-22 21:14
Your comment has been automatically removed because your account does not meet our account-age requirement of 10 days.
Hanskey has reminded me of another good point that helped me with my mindset at first. You are responsible for yourself and all of your experiences. For example maybe someone has wronged you somehow, abused you or something. Understand that your condition now is 100% your responsibility, no matter what has happened to you and whether or not it was your “fault”. You have to remember this, every time you get down on yourself or whatever, remember every moment of your life is your responsibility, yours to respond to, and forget everything that was running through your head a moment ago, and move on. Every time.
[-]
u/Luksan7
2 points2022-07-23 04:51
I'm sometimes aware of that no one will help me and the responsibility for everything is on me, that's the thing that still makes me see through shit once in a while, thank you for a reminder.
10 Comments
Also I absolutely forgot about all the experiences that I wrote about when I did darkroom last time for 3 times and posted about it, i have reread it and I'm getting weird feeling that it will pull me into not knowing anything again, It's all really weird with this magic or I'm bipolar batshit crazy and begging to realize that.
Edit: It's like after couple of weeks after I quit all the substances that were changing my view I'm starting to see with this another kind of attention again and everything slowly pours back, would appreciate some advice, I know I may be lost cause in many eyes but I'll fight till I die so no quitting
Just forget all that and reject any self pity that comes up for you. Catch yourself whining or worrying, and just stop it. Tell yourself in your head “I reject those thoughts” and just be silent as best you can, and let the feelings flow out of you.
Eventually that will be your new habit, staying completely conscious and aware of what’s running through your mind at all times, and curbing it every time it starts.
Drain yourself of it. Drain the energy out of whatever you have inside that makes you feel that way.
If you have some incessant thoughts like that, it’s probably because you have many experiences of “proving to yourself” those thoughts are true. IE parents, teachers, role models, YOU telling you things and doing things to you. It’s like a reservoir of absolute shit inside of you and it’s leaking out.
Drain the reservoir. Recapitulate your life.
Edit: I also recommend finding some go-to method to gain some personal power in an instant. Some breathing technique coupled with a magical pass or something, to get your attention out of your mind and back to reality.
Have you ever had a huge cry, or some other emotional outburst, and when it was done you took that huge breath that almost quivered your insides and made you feel better, like “put back together” for a moment? Maybe when you were a kid, crying until you forgot what you were upset about, and that big breath came and it was over. That’s an emotional recovery breath. It’s energizing. If you’re having a hard time, you can take a deep breath way down into your belly and gain a bit of energy it seems, then you can remember who the fuck you are and get back to business.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that you can’t really fight with yourself to change. It has to come from a deeper level. What I mean is, the crying man baby can’t change the crying man baby, the roots have to get ripped out if you get my meaning.
Recapitulation, read all you can about it and beat it into your head how important it is.
I think it all starts there, especially for people like you, with all that shit in your head.
Thank you
Hello!
Sounds like your intent is to work on it - that's good.
That means you know what you need to do next -
Swap out some shitty habits for some good ones.
Learn a bit of Tensegrity well enough to do in the dark.
Get comfortable with recap and do a bit everyday.
Do some dark room, and do some Tensegrity and recap in the dark room.
Do the above every day as much as you can every day.
It's not a dick measuring contest, and you have to be inventive and playful to stick at it and overcome your blocks.
Dump "poor baby me" to see what else there is to you and reality, because that's in your way and taking all your energy.
If you're serious about not seeking attention then, instead of posting, DM the mods to add you to the general chat.
This post itself reeks of attention-seeking, but it could be a statement of intent instead and that's how I take it, because I trust that you have the personal power to make this a statement of intent.
Wish you well.
Bye!
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I will do it thank you
Hanskey has reminded me of another good point that helped me with my mindset at first. You are responsible for yourself and all of your experiences. For example maybe someone has wronged you somehow, abused you or something. Understand that your condition now is 100% your responsibility, no matter what has happened to you and whether or not it was your “fault”. You have to remember this, every time you get down on yourself or whatever, remember every moment of your life is your responsibility, yours to respond to, and forget everything that was running through your head a moment ago, and move on. Every time.
I'm sometimes aware of that no one will help me and the responsibility for everything is on me, that's the thing that still makes me see through shit once in a while, thank you for a reminder.