Do any new people (or old lurkers) feel like posting what they're up to, seeing as how I just gave them an invite?
It's the first step to following intent. Intent gives you an invite, in the form of a gift or avenue to accomplish something you were thinking about, and you decide to accept the invite, or ignore it.
If you accept, you're following intent.
You can still engage in the "pursuit of happiness". That's fine.
But intent is outside of happiness and usually a lot more exciting.
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manifesting health
I don't know about health, but in heightened awareness, you feel really good.
You have meditation "bliss" all the time. Also, you're 100% relaxed (within reason), because you're technically sleep walking.
It's also going to help de-emphasize (shrink) the tonal, which is said to produce a stronger and younger body.
I can't verify any of that other than, in heightened awareness you feel really good.
And, Carlos died of liver cancer, so it didn't help him out.
On the other hand, he was ill before, and managed to "jump grooves", which seems to mean, you assemble a slightly different version of this world, where you don't have the illness.
I suspect that all that is possible, but it would take so long to figure out how to do it, that it's not a very useful health aide.
How do we reach a heightened awaraness? Is there some specific method or just silence?
Staring at ANYTHING coming from the second attention, while silent, will pull the assemblage point towards heightened awareness.
The big mistake is to want, "something to happen", and get distracted into thinking again.
Just watch. Consider it like watching the shorts before the real movie starts.
What have you done so far, with Carlos' material? Maybe you have a "hook" to get to heightened awareness faster.
People who have practiced meditation of any kind, and regularly feel "bliss", or have a vision of the room with their eyes closed, or even just see something odd, like hypnogogic images, or a flash of a quick dream, are right at the door already. They usually just don't have anyone telling them to cross over.
People who pray and see light, or regularly feel the presence of a higher entity, have a hook. Hopefully the higher entity is Mary. I hear she was kind of pretty.
(I wanted to say "hot", but just like Carlos, I'm still afraid of God.)
Doing yoga, and resting on the mat afterwards, and feeling really high, is right at the door.
A jogging high might be a hook. I'm too lazy to jog, but the high sounds like the beginnings of heightened awareness. And it makes sense if you think about the energy centers in the calfs, and how jogging would force your internal dialogue to modify a bit.
But, you have to cross over.
Having a hook is like driving past McDonald's.
You get no tasty burger unless you park for a while.
Crossing over means, not holding yourself back from drifting further into whatever hook you've found.
That comes from doing it as often as you can, so you can learn how to go one way or the other.
The fastest way to heightened awareness however, is to practice falling asleep while sitting in a chair. Try to learn to fall asleep, and wake up the instant your head tips.
About 30 of those will teach you how to activate a mild form of the second attention.
Yes, I made up the 30 count. But it matches what I've seen from people who write to me.
I've been practicing forcing attention into emotions in the body and clearing it up, it helps get silent: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrxRgpsrpGg
I also am starting to see the room with my eyes close quite often.
Damn! I'm jealous.
It took me decades to learn to do that.
I like the link. It seems that shutting off the internal dialogue is spreading into the non-sorcery audience.
Maybe that's what Carlos had in mind for his fifth faction. Dispersion.
Edited
Joined here after getting interested in shamanism and that sort, from starting meditation and reading the books(now on journey to ixtlan). Dad read from them to me to fall asleep as a kid, from there I got the idea to read them.
I'm trying atm to learn dreaming, or lucid dreaming. So far no results Never seem to be able to do the watching of hands, I forget about that probably just when I'm starting to fall asleep. I sleep pretty restless also I think, some depression/anxiety that I'm trying to curb stomp away.
I can't even picture my hands with closed eyes, maybe I need to practice imagination in some way, looking for my hands is prob one way.
Kinda trying to live the warriors way, but it's just almost impossible to not indulge living in civilization :)
Cut out video games and threw the TV out, but still consume to much time on youtube. Trying to watch mostly beneficial stuff and cutting on the entertainment alot. Cold showers and the wim hof breathing method are great
Even meditation is damn hard, cant really do it properly yet.
I'm interested in some good ways to start with intent.
You start with intent by wanting something abstract. Like, what you mentioned.
To learn dreaming and to participate in the warriors way is abstract. Wanting a new refrigerator is not.
Unless you need that new fridge in order to accomplish something else, which is abstract.
Once you have the abstract desire, you go outside and shout "Intent!!!" to the sky, to set it in motion.
It’s a good thing you have to do that too! Imagine if intent was reading our minds, and tried to help with any abstract thought we had.
Are beautiful women abstract? If they were, I’d be doomed.
I’ve always been a little shy about shouting “Intent!!!” in public, so I do it on the freeway when I go through the underpass. That doesn’t seem to weaken the effect.
And driving is a good time to practice silence, so you can be a “freeway warrior” if you feel inclined.
Carlos actually had us shout “Intent!!!”, so don’t think it’s just for psychological effect. There really seems to be some conscious force in the universe that wants to play the game with us.
Or if there isn’t, then it’s a magnificent not-doing, and will work all the same. It could turn out in the long run, that our own Nagual is behind everything.
Some in here have seen the amazing coincidences that happen once you engage intent. Plus you can learn to manifest objects with it!
And no, so far they don’t stick around for me. Forget the gold bars for now. But manifesting objects is still amazing.
How many times to shout Intent? Does more than 1 make it stronger?
I would think not, but I’m sure there’s no harm if you want to shout it several times.
There was the time when Carlos made fun of one woman whom he claimed was out in the backyard at Pandora, shouting “Intent!!!!” all night like a cat in heat.
My guess: She shouted it a few times instead of 1, to get more attention. And Carlos was having a little trouble with her, but liked her.
So he exaggerated her into a story for the private class. She got praise and criticism at the same time.
I think she’s also the ant lady.
Now that I mentioned that, go find some tiny ants, and lie naked in their path. Add some chaos to the mix, and you might please intent. It likes humour.
Finding hands: You can borrow energy from someone who is enthusiastic, and tells you about it. That's good for a 1 nighter.
In other words, it's not useful, but it gives anyone interested a taste.
Intent is like that. Sometimes it gives you a taste of something wonderful, and you think to yourself, “I’m all set now!”
But you aren’t. It was just a one time gift. You have to work for more.
To get dreaming, I can think of 2 methods that are workable (but not easy).
You can completely disrupt your life so that it’s all jumbled up, and you aren’t doing what you usually do.
That releases a little unused energy. As it turns out, we live off the energy of the position of our assemblage point. When you learn to move it, you’ll discover what that energy feels like.
I have a theory that we die, because we use up all the positions we have access to. We get weaker and weaker as we age, because we’ve almost used it all.
And people who engage in more unusual activities seem to remain youthful longer.
But it’s just my theory. Carlos never said so.
So aside from getting yourself tossed into jail, or some other method to completely disrupt your routines, you can try to mess with them gently.
Go left instead of right. Have vanilla instead of chocolate.
Don’t try to get in the last word.
All of those will help a little. But silence is the best method that I know of.
When your internal dialogue is reduced, you gain energy.
That gives you many more chances to find your hands in dreaming.
Don’t doubt that things will change if you learn to reduce that internal dialogue.
I have a person writing to me who’s pretty much a bad man. It’s sort of hard to read what he thinks about things.
But I don’t judge personalities, or I’d just go sit in a corner and cry. I’m autistic, so who am I to say what’s ok behavior?
Fortunately, he learned to get silent and his bad personality changed.
Pretty soon I’ll have to call him “Saint Bob”.
As a result, he got far more dreaming. He saved all the energy we use up, hating everyone and feeling sorry for ourselves all day.
He learned to get silent by sitting in a chair, trying to curtail his internal dialogue as best he could.
My advice on that is FORCE yourself silent, if you can manage that.
If you can’t, then do it gently, but for a longer time.
Like 1 hour the first time. You have to get over the idea that you’re too precious to spend your time on such a senseless task. When you stop looking at the clock, you’re almost there.
That’s what he did. I had to listen to complaints about 20 minutes being so long at first.
But eventually he stopped watching the time. And he naturally got bored doing that, fell asleep, his head bobbed down, and he woke back up.
I’d alerted him to watch for the transition in the middle. That’s where you want to be.
He repeated it over and over, until he found that place in the middle.
That’s where dreaming is active while you are awake. It’s the “second attention”.
If you want dreaming, you need to learn what that is as fast as possible.
Learn what the second attention is, and you’ll also learn what the assemblage point is.
Myself, I would have wanted to enter dreaming directly from that place.
But he just remained at that level. He seemed to enjoy just swimming in it.
Despite not learning to do dreaming awake from there, by choice, he still got the benefit.
It activated many more chances to find his hands in dreaming.
Once you find your hands, you MUST learn to change dreams. Right away!
Don’t find your hands, then look around and say, “This is really cool! I’m going to have to write a story about it, and tell all of my friends!”
If you do, time is up. You’ll wake up.
Instead, if you find your hands you have to say, “Holy Shit! I’ve only got a few more seconds. I’d better change dreams fast!”
I wrote about how to change dreams in many places. If you don’t know any methods, let me know.
But you could sum up what you need to do in dreaming, by thinking about those coconut traps for monkeys.
They make a hole small enough that the monkey can just barely squeeze his hand in there. And they put rice in the coconut.
The monkey grabs the rice, but can’t get his hand out. And he’s too greedy to let go of the rice.
You have to be like that monkey in dreaming. Too stubborn to let go.
Once you learn to hold on and change dreams so that you have unlimited time, you’ll eventually conquer the gates of dreaming.
But it takes a positive effort. You can’t just wait around to find your hands.
No one seems to have ever done good at that. There’s just no reason to expect our dull consciousness to wake up in a dream, unless we do something while awake to make it more alert and energetic.
Unwarranted Depression and Anxiety are mostly a result of the internal dialogue. I’m sure there’s a bio-chemical component, but our biology seems to regulate better when we get a taste of the Nagual once in a while.
If I go without gazing in darkness for too many days, I start to feel less than wonderful. I get fussy and uncomfortable.
But if I get a taste of the nagual at night, then I’m high all day. I can even work continuously for many hours, like a Zen monk being hazed by a master.
It doesn’t even occur to me to feel sorry for myself, if I had that taste of the nagual, and maintain silence while working.
You’ll get high from that as in, you just won the lottery and your old girlfriend is coming for a visit.
Those highs are mental. They’re caused by an idea in your mind.
The nagual is even more effective at producing that high. It’s more than just an idea in your mind.
Consuming too much time on YouTube?
Got a good porn channel you’d recommend? I just got internet at home, for Cholita. And I’m amazed at what kids in junior high get to watch these days.
But don’t cut out entertainment in order to be a “warrior”!
Cholita got that idea from private classes. And she also cut out candy, coffee, alcohol, and shopping at reasonably priced grocery stores.
She’s a Whole Foods saint!
And yet, last night after filling 2 shopping carts, she was shouting how much she despises me in the shopping mall parking lot. And cursing at passersby for stealing her stuff.
Being a “saint” didn’t work out for her.
Just watch the TV, eat the bad stuff, but practice.
Just practice.
Those things are only bad because they tend to use up all of our practice time.
If they don’t, then they’re fine.
I forgot one more method, which is proven to work. I don't know who figured this out, but it makes sense.
You go around all day asking yourself, "Am I dreaming right now?"
You have to become obsessed with it.
That seems to be proven, by clinical testing, to get you more chances to become lucid in dreams.
How to test if you are dreaming?
Jump as high as you can, and see how much it hurts when you land.
That surely works. And as an added benefit, if you sprain your ankle doing it, you'll have more practice time at home.
Or try to read something. If the text keeps changing, you're asleep for sure.
That the text changes is key to dreaming, and intending, but I've gone into that elsewhere.
While I'm on the idea of testing if you are in a dream, the most impressive form of dreaming I've experienced was when I got the wacky idea I was in a dream, looked around, and the possibility was absurd.
It was very obvious I wasn't in a dream.
But still, something was off. That's what made me question things.
Typically what's off in such a case, is that there's an inorganic being right next to you, feeding off the sense that everything is real, and yet something is frighteningly wrong. They love new positions of the assemblage point, including those which produce absolute fright.
You have to be on the alert for that kind of dream. It's a level slightly higher than remembering to find your hands.
You have to remember to find the inorganic being.
If your skin crawls when you turn a certain direction in the dream, that's where it is.
But if you're afraid of the boogeyman, you can take this to yet another level.
Don't find the inorganic being. Use his (or more likely her) energy to sustain the feeling that this can't possibly be a dream. Then go exploring.
It's possible to learn to sustain a dream, by accepting the presence of an inorganic being. Eventually, you can get them to follow you around, to help stabilize the dream.
I once had a little girl and a fluffy puppy, follow me for a full hour. Eventually the puppy turned into a pallet with wheels, trying to crush me. But that's what inorganics do, when they aren't getting enough energy.
They try to press up against you, and keep you from leaving.
They even have the ability to manipulate sleep paralysis .
And they can follow you out of the dream when you wake up, so be prepared for your hair to stand up by itself. You just might not be able to move at the time.
Best defense? Love them, sincerely. That changes their behavior.
Think of the meanest girlfriend you ever had, and whether she was more tolerable when she thought you loved her, than when she thought you were afraid of her.
Inorganics behave the same way.
Edited: once
I found these steps, taken from the books, in dreaming quotes complied by Scott Dye. C refers to Journey to Ixtlán and E to The Second Ring of Power.
And prior to those steps, from The Fire Within:
This is an oversimplified explanation.
If you stare at anything, you've altered the dream.
Give it a try! Look around, then stare at something, then look around again. The dream is altered. If you stare too long you'll either wake up, or be in a completely different dream.
I'd say that this advice sounds nice, and gives someone "something to do". That's the most important thing for learning dreaming. Interacting in it.
What you do isn't nearly as important as behaving as if it were real.
But if you look at your hands to "renew" the energy you need for dreaming, and it's not working as well as this implies, find something to smash. Or someone to push over.
Or even shout, "Hey, is there anyone here that wants to take me on!!??"
The hands thing... I wouldn’t risk my dreaming time using that to renew the dream. A dream change is much better.
This puts a lot of pressure on potential dreamers. Geez the expectations those books create!
Don’t expect that! More likely is that on occasion you’ll have a hard time waking up, and bounce from dream to dream. And some of those, especially after several bounces elsewhere, will be in your bedroom.
You’ll have done what this says, except that it’s unlikely you’ll turn around to look at yourself. You’ll be more worried about whether it’s real or still a dream.
And if you get sober enough in all that panic, to turn around and look, then great. But you could have used that concentration to do any number of other interesting things. And more than likely you will.
So be grateful for whatever you find.
Yea, but...
There’s TV, movies, YouTube, Wine, Beer, partying with beautiful young women, dining in expensive restaurants, etc.
You don’t have to become a monk.
In fact, becoming a monk (in their own mind) did in a good portion of the private class students.
I’ve got an idea. Be an impeccable warrior monk, but as a stalking maneuver be a selfish bastard and do whatever the hell you want.
It’s good practice in stalking!
As an aside, Cholita went through some old CDs she had, and found one she wanted me to rip.
I couldn't help but pay very close attention, because she'd just demonstrated her belly dancing skills. Who knew???
And so the CD sounded intriguing!!! "The Amazing Development of Man".
If you ask Cholita, she'll tell you that she's an impeccable warrior. And I can't imagine who would be more qualified to make that claim. Certainly not me.
So I figured, this must be some intriguing Anthropological analysis of quasi-human history. Maybe some UFOs tossed in the mix, but some of it ought to be good.
I was anxious to listen to it myself.
It turned out to be a "How to keep a man" audio tape.
So even impeccable warriors can fall prey to dubious advice.
The danger of any advice about how to live seems to be it can just strengthen the tonal's grip and make it even less likely for the second attention to emerge.
Yes! Put yourself into situations that typically cause self-indulgence—sex, drugs, model trains, whatever makes you lose yourself—but force yourself to remain aware at least, silent if possible. It'll reveal how much we contribute to the fascination of such activities fast if done correctly.
Or anything that makes you uncomfortable seems to make for good stalking. It challenges the tonal's pomposity and forces a shift. There's a good reason the books say the tonal shrinks when it gets embarrassed.
One of these days I'll write up how I came to fully realize, Carlos wasn't making up stuff.
I'd seen so much that I should have realized that all along, but I was still in the mindset of , "Yea, Carlos was a fake. But oddly his techniques are pretty good."
I was 52, driving down Beach Blvd, and got a weird idea to go somewhere for no reason at all.
My mom's voice popped into my internal dialogue, and I decided there was no purpose to going there. Every destination has to have a planned purpose. I felt guilt for even thinking of something so absurd.
But somehow I decided, fuck it!
(Cholita just put #fuckoff on her passport application at the post office, so I get to say fuck once in a post).
I thought, at age 52, I have a right to do whatever the hell I want!
That's when I discovered how to follow intent. It turned out, our parents not only pull a dark hood over our second sight, but they also teach us not to follow intent.
Hey thanks for helping me, you are right, currently I feel I would waste my "precious" time just sitting in a chair! I return here with more questions if I need, for now I think I know what I have to work on, thanks! I want tho share how it goes in the future
Just wait until you can sit in a chair and bring out the Nagual!
At first it might start as a series of colored lights you see in front of you, when you close your eyes. It's not like the colors in darkness, it's a "thing" right there, and it's somehow conscious.
If you use Zuleica's technique, it becomes more compressed, to the point that you eventually see that luminous cocoon thing described in the books. Tentacles and all!
I haven't learned to stand it up and walk away with it, but that's surely possible too.
When I end up in it, there's a blank out beforehand, so I haven't gotten to see the transition.
I really like cold showers. I started first, really, with finding inner silence.
The totality of oneself.
Then you're in luck!
There really is a "nagual". It's a second copy of yourself.
And it's not even hard to experience!
You just have to pick something, and concentrate on making it work.
But if you try to live on inspirational quotes from Carlos' books, and the idea that you're now an impeccable warrior, you'll probably get nowhere.
It's like learning to juggle. You can't read about juggling and learn it.
You actually have to practice.
You can definitely experience the Nagual by following Zuleica's technique. Or probably just about any of the others, except it's kind of nice to have someone telling you that what you're doing will work, and has worked for others.
We don't have a double being to move our assemblage points, so the experience is a little more gradual than what Carlos wrote about.
But it still works.
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“Self-importance is our greatest enemy. Think about it--what weakens us is feeling offended by the deeds and misdeeds of our fellow men. Our self-importance requires that we spend most of our lives offended by someone.
Every effort should be made to eradicate self-importance from the lives of warriors. Without self-importance we are invulnerable.”
“Now I’m stopping the world and feeling fine”
When u get out, I’ll meet u on the other side
Teaching opportunity!
Sorry if it doesn’t exactly flow from your quote, but I need to say this once in a while. You're the victim of the day.
Stopping the world doesn’t make you feel fine.
It’s rather disturbing in fact.
But you get a sense of optimism, as you would from any important hobby if you’d done something that requires advanced skills.
The "path with heart" is merely the chance to feel optimistic all the time.
And being in heightened awareness makes you feel blissful, but you get used to it.
I’ve gotten into some drag down knock out arguments with Cholita, while in heightened awareness.
So bliss doesn’t even give you patience. Zen masters are famous for being very poor husbands. Not only do they lose patience with their wives, but they feel entitled to chastise them as much as they want.
They're enlightened! So they're always right.
"The Nagual" everyone wants back (the second attention's energy body) is rather creepy.
It’s not cozy, so if you think you’re going to hug it, forget it. It's inhuman.
All in all, I believe it's fair to say, sorcerers still suffer from the same little problems as other people. The sorcery doesn’t fix their problems.
If they have an advantage, it’s not being too lazy to fix theirs, and other people's, problems.
In silence, you can work like a Zen Monk initiate at the most horrible Monastery in Japan, where they literally work you to death.
Also, if you are silent most of the time, your internal dialogue isn’t stuck in a suffering loop.
But you’ll still suffer. Cholita gives me absolute misery at times. Two days ago she got angry in a distant shopping mall parking lot, and jumped into a car and took off.
I have no idea who picked her up. She just showed up at my home when I got back.
It messed me up energetically in such a painful way, I doubt non-sorcerers can even imagine it. After a full day of suffering over it, it then took all night for my stomach muscles to relax.
So forget about being a saint.
Remember Carol Tigg's prayer to God, to give her endless suffering?
That's closer to sorcery, than sainthood is.
When Carlos was finally dying, perhaps 2 weeks before it actually happened, he had the Chacmools lock us in at Dance Home, alone.
I don’t know what the excuse was, but in fact he wanted to talk to me.
He said he was dying, and no one believed him.
I guess he wanted a witness to be able to tell people, yes, he really died.
He told me so himself.
And if that wasn't enough, somewhere slightly before that, he gave me the famous Kung Fu movie gag, a "half a pear". In Chinese, it implies a master and student being separated.
He made a big deal out of presenting it to me at his Pandora Complex, and then I was told to go home.
He wanted to make sure the point would remain in my memory as a puzzling mystery I'd tell people, until someone Chinese heard about it and explained it to me.
He died. Double witnesses too. That part was kind of Catholic I suppose.
But more than that, as a result of witnessing his unfortunate demise, I’ve learned to be a little irreverent in order to prevent future dying sorcerers from not being believed.
The saddest part was, because he died of illness many of his former supporters piled on him, saying he was a fraud because he couldn’t save himself.
And that he must have done something bad, to get liver cancer.
Some Russians were even blaming it on power plants!
I guess there’s a lot of Whole Foods Sorcerers out there.
Once while dreaming I saw myself, or rather was looking at myself if that's possible, and it was definetly not lifeless dream imagery. My double's eyes were so intense I can still picture them now. All colors and details in my eyes and face were heightened. It was supremely "creepy" as we locked gazes...and I couldn't break away. I woke up shaking from head to toe.
I must admit to being a little fuzzy about "the nagual".
Cholita has come to me from dreaming a number of times. And she's a lot friendlier than she is when awake.
For one thing, she doesn't hate me with a passion when she's asleep.
The image of her is mostly stable, and looks like her.
So what is this, "Nagual" we're trying to re-unite with?
I've seen that too, and I wouldn't have guessed that's what Cholita's dreaming entity is. That one is just too human.
The Nagual I've seen is dark.
Darkness is the best description for it. Even though it has glowing lights.
Are they they same thing? The dreaming double, and the nagual?
I'll suggest, it's like the allies. In reality, they're just a collection of lights.
But our awareness, and our intent, bounces off those lights, and reflects back a solid, almost normal looking image.
Maybe the Nagual works the same way?
I'll even go off the deep end here.
Possibly, in reality, we're all stationary in space. We're at a static position in the infinite range of emanations.
And the idea of a tonal and nagual is artificial. It was conceived by sorcerers. It's not actually a hard fact.
But it's a good guide, for how to reflect our own awareness back at us.
And no one has come up with a better myth, so far.
So don Juan agrees with my criticism of posturing with "warriors way" concepts in the mind.
He says impeccability is nothing else but the proper use of energy.
Once you can perceive energy, you'll figure out impeccability on your own.
(With a little help from inspirational quotes)
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https://m.soundcloud.com/jestersofkindness/never-seen?in=jestersofkindness/sets/jesters-of-kindness-ep
May be just dreaming or maybe out of time
Not really sure they are so alike
That's a follower of Carlos for sure.
Needs a better mixer though. Or someone re-sampled it too low.
So this goes back a few months, but after some silence practise i was in a new strange position. Felt like i was lightning fast, i could see thoughts coming from a mile away, they felt very slow and easy to pass! At this point i remembered that this has happened to me once in the past, but i couldnt exactly recall when and how in the past.it was very fresh. So far so good.
But then some self reflection thought gets in and then another one - some kind of a book deal. Seems like Self reflection brings the ordinary position, as well as any conceptualisation of past or future. And self reflection is a function of that.
So i lay down with a bad defeated attitude and it feels like something literally hits me in the base of the neck twice.
In the next days all my focus is lost on unresolved and unrecapitulated god damned love story that has me tainted badly. I am stuck and probably recapitulation is my best bet, but im lazy and scared of going through it. Exceling as a stormtrooper lately.
This night i tried to turn over as you suggested to face the inorganic in fright, played a bit with it, but i cant remember all the things that id like to try with it. Im kind of in love with their blank presence. Last paragraph is ninja add edited.
Hi lazy, I'm Dad!
That's a great description. Blank.
I’m probably going to have to steal that!
I’m not clear on where you encountered one, but let’s talk about inorganic beings being present in dreams.
Carlos didn’t really go into that much. And even his last book, where he tells how to identify one by staring it down, doesn’t make it clear if that’s good for both waking, and dreaming encounters.
Yes, some of those dream characters, especially the persistent ones who want to push up against you, are actually inorganic beings.
Your mom? A childhood school teacher? An evil mix of your mom and a school teacher?
Almost surely inorganic beings, if they stick around a long time.
I guess Carlos never mentioned that in classes, because it leads to all kinds of imaginary troubles in apprentices. We have those lecture notes where he told one woman that her too long description of her dream meant it likely came from the liver.
He was doing a bit of stalking in those lecture notes.
But it wasn’t just her. He almost surely got sick of listening to long explanations of the wonderful dream someone had last night, being surrounded by so many apprentices as he was.
Any of you who try to teach lucid dreaming to friends will be familiar with the long accounts they come back with, of ordinary dreams.
They miss the key point: lucidity. That’s the reason for looking at the hands. Proof of lucidity.
Maybe the long tales of ordinary dreams, is why Carlos put the kibosh on giving us more details about what’s really present in our dreams.
Since he never mentioned it, how do I know they’re inorganic beings?
Because the darned things can follow you out into the waking world!
That pretty much qualifies for me.
In a dream, you might say, we’ll, that’s just like a video. It’s all coming from your mind. So it’s crazy to think some of the characters are real.
But when they follow you out and are standing there, with you awake now and sitting up on the bed in horror, that’s definitely an “inorganic being”.
It’s a being, with no organic body.
Doesn’t have to be the little smoke, or the lizard ally or something so wonderful that us mere mortals will never encounter one.
And the flow of allies between waking and dreaming goes both ways.
Carlos allies have followed me into dreaming a number of times.
It’s always horribly frightening, and one wouldn’t even think to use the word, “blank” to describe such an encounter.
And yet, that’s what they are, if you calm down and watch them without fear.
Someone in here coined the phrase (which I also stole), “low energy inorganic being”.
That’s all I suspect you’ll find, until I find a way to share Carlos’ allies with people who make good progress.
That means, the ones you encounter will likely be a lot less scarier than the ones I’ve seen.
What advantage can you get from low energy inorganic beings in dreaming?
Just hang out with them. They’re presence stabilizes the dream.
They want the energy released by your emotions.
You want their dark energy.
It’s a good arrangement.
The main problem you have then, is to retain your sense of purpose.
Your lucidity will get messed up by interacting with them. But it’ll probably last longer than if you just went off on your own.
So the first time you become lucid and realize you’ve been sitting next to someone and conversing with them for a while, but then you realize they never actually said anything, it was all you, just keep it going.
Don’t get up and leave. See what happens.
But if you wake up in a dream and are in some kind of hostile situation with a dreaming character, that’s when it’s a good idea to force them to change.
The technique Carlos gave was to stare at them, until they either go away (or turn into a pile of clothes perhaps), or they change into a bar of light.
It works! In both waking and dreaming. I’ve done it a few times.
But don’t do that unless you’re new to it, and merely want to see if it works.
Instead, just stare until they start to mutate. Then keep your eye on them just enough so that they can’t slip off, but don’t stare anymore. Point your finger right at them and order them to change into whatever you like.
Once you learn to do that (it’s actually easy), you can select a form that makes a good “companion”, for hunting energy.
I once ordered a troublesome dreaming character to change, giving it no suggestions as to what form it might take.
It changed into a 15 year old girl I encountered in Laguna Beach.
There was an art exhibit on top of the roof of a restaurant. It consisted of teenagers with little booths, selling their art.
Some of it was pretty good. And there was a moody looking, post goth teenage girl around 15 years old, selling amazing pencil drawings of herself naked.
I was impressed. What a good gimmick!
Except, if I’d bought one, I’d have to worry about going to jail.
The inorganic seems to have found that image in my mind. Or whatever they do. Maybe I projected it onto the inorganic.
But there she was in my dream.
She obeyed and followed me around for a good half hour, but then I noticed, she was mutating over time.
She had a big scar on her cheek, which was sewn up with metal wires. And she’d done a costume change.
I had to ask her to refresh her image. Her appearance had become a little disturbing.
And that’s when I woke up. I couldn’t hold that dream, once I interrupted the flow. It was only the inorganic that had stabilized it for that long.
[removed]
One of Castaneda's recaps of a narrative dream-state recorded by Martin Goodman in I Was Carlos Castaneda: The Afterlife Dialogues:
People like you
Who took the path.
Reached where they are
But no further.
They followed desires
But not their feet.
Look
where you are going.
"How did they get down from the path?" I ask.
They play a game.
That's less than life.
They play a game.
They play a game.
It's appropriate. I ask myself these questions every time a new person writes to me, and I realize they have absolutely no real interest in Carlos' techniques.
It's always something else they're after, something far less.
And they're always "impeccable warriors".
SUMMARY OF THINGS indicating how to follow intent. These come from my memory of Carlos’ books and his private classes.
Affirmations from the world around us, told to Carlos almost immediately in his book sequence, provides the knowledge that something is indeed watching us, and is interested in our doings.
That’s intent. Carlos was introduced to intent right off the bat. And also to searching for colors in the darkness, when he was looking for his "spot".
So those who claim the books evolved, and Carlos added stuff he stole from elsewhere, ought to go back and read with some understanding.
As far as I can tell, nothing's changed from the first book, to the last one. If anyone had used the first book or two to their full potential, they wouldn't have needed the rest.
Omens are rather obvious. I can't quite get excited over a squawking crow the way Europeans did back then (our crows look different than their ravens). But this gives you the knowledge that intent can provide hints along the way. It's not just for free fabulous prizes, or burdensome tasks.
Plucking your “cubic centimeter of chance” teaches us to be on the lookout for opportunities given to us by intent.
Carlos used to give out potential assignments to see if anyone took him up on it. Each time no one would, and when asked about it the next day he’d say, “It’s too late now”.
He did that at least a few times, until we were always listening to see if we could pick up a new offer.
There was palpable frustration at not being able to take him up on his offers.
Sometimes it was because no one realized it was in fact an offer. It wasn't obvious until he explained it to us the next day, and chastised us for not taking him up.
But eventually they got very specific. Right in your eye specific!
For example, walk the 120 miles from Dance Home to San Diego, and start right now.
No one took him up on it. They had other obligations.
I pulled out my credit card and told everyone not to worry.
It was pre-cellphone days. No uber, lift or airb&b if you got into trouble. But hotel rooms were present along the path.
Still, no one agreed to come along.
One of the more attractive women, who hadn't yet cut her hair, stood nearby and said apologetically, "I have a husband."
Another nodded her head as she held it low in embarrassment.
"Boyfriend", she mumbled. "I can't."
(Boyfriends didn't like Carlos, as Cholita has explained to me.)
No men were to be found in that discussion. They pranced off, as if they were going to plan something big on their own.
But they never did.
I'll add that account to my understanding of male vs female practitioners.
Everyone carries a bubble of perception with them, wherever they go. It's what makes them feel, "normal".
Sorcerers have no bubble (shields). But normal people always do.
The women can take their bubble along, even for a 120 mile trek on foot, if they're with someone they trust.
Their bubbles are just fine, thank you. And expandable!
The men have a harder time.
(bad puns in there somewhere).
Another point for the women!
Carlos finally started calling this process of accepting an assignment, “Jumping”.
He meant, you hear of an opportunity. A chance to have a chance. And you have to decide to take it, or decline it.
Often the opportunity is too stupid to believe! You’d have to be nuts to take it seriously.
For example, Cholita. My response to Cholita showing up homeless in my garage was, “Just what I needed! A partner to test shared dreaming. Thank you intent!”
I didn’t think, “Paranoid schizophrenics are the worst type of person to care for! It’s heartbreaking, and leads to nervous breakdowns”.
Instead, I “jumped”.
And now I have Cholita tossing my stuff out the car window while she rants about the blood in Washington and the rapists.
But she's also teaching me how to assemble dreams in my bedroom, not just other worlds. Last night she almost gave me permission to pull her along.
That’s following intent, as opposed to pursuing happiness.
The pursuit of happiness is a short-sighted endeavor.
Let me put a stormtrooper spin on this, just in case I'm looking too much like an impeccable warrior.
What was I thinking when I pulled out my credit card? I was thinking, here's 2 of the hottest babes in the class, flirting with the idea of staying in hotel rooms with me for the next 2 or 3 days. And their hair is uncut, so they aren't off limits.
That's ok! You get to think things like that, so don't feel defiled. Seriously. Don't beat yourself up over the impeccable thing.
Also, people were frantic to be the first to take Carlos up on his offers to "jump", because it would get them lots of attention and face time, in Carlos' lectures.
One of the wayward women, who typically was hid from view for the most part, seems to have taken him up on an offer.
Rumors said she did, but only the women knew what actually went on...
Another point for the women? They actually know what's going on in a sorcery group, instead of fantasizing about only themselves?
Edited: three times
I am new. I read 4 or 5 Casteneda books in the early 70's. I was very intrigued but unable to comprehend what was in Tales of Power. It was too unbelievable. I also thought it too much effort, work and commitment. There were also wives, businesses to run and children. Early childhood was a crucible that I came out of frightened of everyone, depressed and wounded. My mother did a very 'crippling' spell on me at the age of 4. At 58 I was able to break it. I was always searching, lost, alone and miserable which I dealt with by using massive amounts of drugs and alcohol Sobered up about 2 years ago and was given The Four Agreements. I spent a year and a half listening and reading it. I was able to go from hell and misery to a world unimaginably alive and vibrant. All my friends I talked to about the 4 Agreements all said the same thing, "great wisdom and practical guides to a better life once you get past all the Indian mumbo jumbo". I liked the first part best and after a year and a half of endlessly repeating the last 5 words in 'Row, row row, your boat' I realized I was the dream, not the dreamer. In the last 60 days I have re-read Casteneda and also Abelar. I now know there is a rabbit hole and where it is. I know I have to condition my body, (have some issues), learn to dream with awareness, recapitulate and learn to see among other things. Casteneda and Abelar both had teachers to guide them. I am alone in my endeavor however to learn. I am beginning to understand intent and I wrote this because of the invitation to do so. I would like to find someone to talk with.
Talk here. It's important to let everyone hear the conversations, so that people don't think their situation is different.
You'll make it, if you work hard.
I am trying to understand intent not as a force from within in me but rather as a part of the naqual. The only small bit of comprehension I may have had was a feeling that intent is a force that would 'carry' me down the path I am on. Kind of like gravity being the force that brings one to the ground when they parachute from an airplane. Is it intent that pulls you along?
I am new here and all I know for certain is that I don't know anything for certain yet. I feel a tremendous pull to leave all I know behind and go to a new environment. Logic tells me I'm impulsive, my mind says it's frightened, my body feels forces working on me I don't comprehend yet. I now know I have no other choice, I could try to remain foolish and indulgent because I have never loved the world so much as I do now but that would bring too much regret, so I have no choice. Juan Matus referred to 'paying our debts' so I have been saying my thank yous and goodbyes to those who have helped and loved me. I hope the laughter I might bring to anyone who reads this is more empathetic rather than derisive.
It is now. It wasn't always so. I pursued happiness like everyone else.
I hope I'll surprise everyone by being ok with that warrior's concept.
The debts mean you have awareness imbedded in them, and they have some in you.
It's like those weights you can wear on your wrists, when exercising.
A couple of them is fine, but we have thousands of those on us, preventing us from changing worlds.
From the point of view of the recapitulation, we're caught in thousands of individual strands from a spider web. You can literally learn to feel those! And to remove them with recap.
Each one isn't enough to stop us from moving, but all together they are. They tug on us from every direction with concerns we've had in the past.
Each concern is a mental image of this reality. With so many of them bouncing around in our minds, our assemblage point has no chance to move very far. Every image in you mind of a particular aspect of reality requires your assemblage point to vibrate there. And we have a limited range.
Moving away from where you live won't change that. You need to recapitulate those connections.
And I wouldn't advise just dumping everything and finding a new situation, so you can learn sorcery.
That's like the guy who starts his own business, and puts all the initial effort into finding office furniture. Then he sits in his wonderful office, sharpens his pencils, and wonders how to get customers.
Get the customers first. Then decide how much office furniture you can afford.
My father had success writing a book, which coincidentally created my connection to Carlos.
He wanted to write another, but kept telling himself he needed to move away and get his own place, so he could concentrate on book writing.
Once he had his own place, he ate chocolate pudding and drank whiskey all day. Plus he had a big bowl of M&Ms by the door, for guests.
He didn't have anyone else around to tell him maybe so much pudding and whiskey isn't a good idea. Or to nag him and make him unhappy, so that he'd go hide and type on his typewriter, like he did to finish the first book.
He never got around to writing that new book.
He did however write some poetry.
From memory, "Unchain those pale breasts!"
So besides pudding and whiskey, I suspect he had another hobby that used up all of his time.
Just eat whatever pudding you have and drink whatever is available, wherever you are now. But learn to get silent.
I just walked a lap around my business in very good silence. This is just 1 or 2 days after I saw my entire second attention energy body. So I've got the Nagual hanging out around me these days.
I saw little white puffs of twinkling energy floating around on the ground, sometimes moving so as to avoid my feet. Once in a while a little rainbow would spill across the asphalt. I have no idea why.
Bliss was oozing from everything in the environment. Each blast of wind (it's a windy day) nearly pushed me into dreaming. I could feel it because my assemblage point moved freely, creating that tingling up the spine.
So forget about being impulsive or frightened, and cheat the system.
Just learn to be silent. The other stuff will slowly evaporate, as the Island of the Tonal shrinks from it's bloated size.
(Man that's cheesy. Sorry...)
If you really feel a tremendous pull, that could be intent. In that case, go for it.
But intent doesn't fault you for not taking an offer. I've turned a few down.
There will be more.
Edited
Nope, it's not that cheesy...but then again I am a bit of a cheesemonger 🧀.
I thank you for your message. It's nice to know I'm not writing into a void, but I also felt I wasn't. I am truly surprised at anyone responding. Magical Passes finally came (Casteneda books are hard to find now) and it seems to be the place I need to start. I do feel I will meet someone if I go but I can create that all in my head. passes, recapitulation, dreaming, silence, seeing.... all things I'd like to master next week. I am hoping to to accomplish those things and I am now thinking, as you said, that rushing to a new location may not be the best route. I now have a 3 or 4 month plan to work on everything I can. I have always exceeded at almost everything I have done, I know I have a lot of energy. Yet I am afraid I will not be equal to the task, but I tell myself it is the world not wanting to let go. There is so much to do and not enough time.
I haven't really done anything yet, except change my entire view of 'reality', but 2 things have happened. 1. I picked up a rather average rock on a daily walk. I picked it up because I liked it. (haven't picked up a rock since I was a child) then I read an online article 2 weeks later about finding a stone to help with dreaming. My eyes have changed color they turned green...I think that's weird, maybe something medical. Every business I started I always got the money from the customers first, probably because I didn't have any. I appreciate your advice, explanations and most expressly sharing part of your personal life. It is exciting to know someone who knew Casteneda. Again, my gratitude.
Think of this more as a hobby than a lifestyle.
You'll have less drama that way.
For example, lets say you learn to summon inorganic beings.
That's too cool!!!!
First thing you'll want to do is tell a friend.
Big mistake. They'll attack. It's built into their socialization.
But you have to get attacked a few times, so you can learn about "the dark magicians".
(That's everyone these days).
And if you think of this as a lifestyle, or dare I say it, a "belief system", they have more to attack.
But if you tell them, "Hey chill dude! It's just a hobby for god's sake.", they'll leave you alone (a little).
I now have a hard time talking with people. I can see things but I can't see what I see I only know it...so far. As far as dealing with people I try to be somewhat honest. When someone asks me what's going on with me (something is obviously) I tell them I will try to explain it to them the best I can, but first I have to tell them 1 thing. I accept their okay and tell them " I am really an alien inorganic life-form from another dimension. They can only see me because the sensory data they perceive from me only allows them to see me as a human being because that is the illusion I project. 1. They usually leave at this point. 2. Although you'll get a weird look from them it's not as weird as if you tell them you're studying sorcery. 3. If they stay to talk it's usually interesting.
I don't personally recommend keeping your sorcery practices secret all the time.
As a stalking maneuver, that's a good idea.
But if you want to see how the dark magicians suppress magic, it's good to have chats with people about sorcery.
We're all so used to the harsh rules that we don't even notice them anymore. in fact, it's delusional to call them harsh rules.
It's just "true" that there's no magic. Any intelligent person knows that these days.
When in fact, it's the exact opposite of true. We're all swimming in magic. We just put a limit on how far out we're willing to swim.
About intuiting, instead of visually seeing.
Some exist at that level permanently. Howard Lee is one, allthough I haven't spoken to him in a long time.
We once had a conversation about his light of life energy, and he managed to allow me to see it. I commented on the colors and shape, and he told me that it isn't visual for him.
But it makes no difference in the long run.
Again my gratitude for your reply. Three things have happened recently. 1. I finished Active Side of Infinity finally and learned where the 'foreign' installation comes from. 2. I feel I am intuiting now which leads me to think that I need not so much learn to see, dream, etc., but simply shatter the barrier that doesn't allow me to see I am doing those things constantly and always have been. 3. I do a lot of work with addictive people within a somewhat restrictive format. Today I diverted from the standard format, gave a young man The Four Agreements and told him they can improve any humans life. I told him the intro can change a world view and open a path to knowledge. I felt it was the right thing to do.
In private classes, Carlos told the story of the “lost book”.
He wrote a “how to” manual, and accidentally left it in a theater on the seat.
I guess he took that as an omen not to do it.
But when he was dying, he seems to have changed his mind.
His last 3 books are the “how to” ones. The advice in there is so practical that as a result of applying it, the rest of the books become more clear.
I was amused to see reviewers say the book was “almost nostalgic”, like Carlos was some old man trying to relive glory.
It’s the opposite of nostalgia. He just condensed the most important things into usable form.
The technique to differentiate an ally from a phantom is amazing! Learn to use that technique, and you don’t need anything else.
Though it’s always nice to have more good info.
Recapitulation is becoming clearer to me, not in 'practice' as I understand it should be, but as something I can comprehend a little. I spent a year in the 4 Agreements, breaking old agreements and replacing them with new. My technique was to find an emotion and trace it to a memory, see why I initially made the agreement. Although I couldn't previously conceive of being able to recapitulate, I have now have had some memories come to mind, a partial, mental list to start with. I am now certain as I start the process an ability will be honed and I will be able to do it. There is never quiet where I live except the middle of the night.
Don Juan told Carlos that the world would hit him with it's tail as he tried to break free. I am getting more attention and adulation that I have ever had. Money is just coming in with almost no effort and a big pile is sitting there for the taking, if I want to spend the time. Beautiful women are suddenly around me. Life has never been this good or so wonderful. The world IS so beautiful and I SO love it. I never really understood the concept of a warrior but today for me it means I am a warrior or I am a victim. Only 2 choices. In the past I always thought I had the ability to draw things into my life, now I think I just grabbed onto things. I am not worried any more if I can do this, if I'm to old, not enough time,not this or that, not of it makes any difference anymore, achievement, success, failure..whatever makes no difference, whatever or wherever the path goes does not matter, it has heart and it is inevitable. Power and Intent control my unalterable fate, I control my destiny. There is so much I don't know. It's like somebody said"now that you've finished the Dick and Jane reader, here's the library of congress"...good luck.
Oh man! Imagine if we could embed recapitulation in drug and alcohol rehab programs.
On the other hand, the Scientologists already did that. And got nothing but bad press over it.
Carlos can't afford more bad press for now...
No, no. There's always "stormtrooper". That just means, you do whatever the hell you want, but also keep working on learning sorcery.
No frills.
Edited
I'm sitting indulging in yet another cigarette 2 days ago, talking to my self, but not like I normally do. I'm looking at my arm and hand thinking it's not me, it's my body. Then the words "I'm a pet" came out of my mouth. Just as I was getting all ready to be offended I understood (not quite a thought) that pet was simply the wrong word as if 'I' didn't have enough vocabulary and what pet meant was loved/favorite/cherished animal. Then the words "I'm an animal" came out of my mouth. I felt that some part of me/something I'm part of was using my mouth to talk to me. I then worried for a couple of minutes about my mental health then decided it might be something cool.
What are the three books Carlos wrote to replace the 'lost' book?
I've read about the necessity of an ally but I don't recall anything about finding/getting one.
Finding an ally is covered at least 4 times. But all accounts are different, and in the last books they just show up on command.
Showing up on command is more like it. There's really no procedure. If there were one (such as waving your hand across the ground), it would just be to get you into the second attention, where you can see them.
The last 3 books are Magical Passes, Wheel of Time, and Active Side of Infinity.
Carlos told us to stop reading his books, probably for the same reason Carol Tiggs was discouraging it in 2015 at a workshop in Russia.
I did what he said, which was a good thing. By the time I felt compelled to read his last books, I'd already discovered some of the new information in them.
So I noticed, those are his "how to" books.
About the automatic talking. That's the second attention taking over.
Maybe it conspires with the cerebellum, which is responsible for all of our movements.
Your arm can also help out, by moving on it's own to point at something you're missing.
I wouldn't say there's a necessity to get an inorganic being, but if you think about it, they're pure second attention in a pleasant (or not) package.
The instant you're looking at one and recognize it's form (man, woman, hideous, beautiful), you're concentrating 100% on the second attention.
That will move your assemblage point.
So they're a really good tool.
Plus they look good in a Sailor Suit.
I got hell over that in another discussion group. "A Woman in a Sailor Suit???"
Yea. What's wrong with that? It's better than the corpse she was portraying when I found her.
American Puritanism (prudishness) will take generations to expunge, especially since most aren't even aware of it's pervasiveness.
And even if you are aware of it, I don't think you can ever uproot it entirely if you were raised under it.
Yea, I still feel bad sitting with 15 year old bargirls in Thailand, even though they don't go home with customers, and I'm celebate.
I have the impression they're being degraded by drinking with strangers while wearing cowgirl miniskirts.
I tried to explain it to one of them, who brought over her 18 year old friend as a substitute.
She was half australian, so she spoke english well.
She said not to ever explain that to any of them again, because the very kind of thinking that says it's degrading to her, is very offensive in Thailand.
I tried to understand this in Japan. I met a girl named, "Peach" (in japanese).
I asked her if her job was considered dirty, or if she was embarassed to tell people about it.
She said it's a job. Any job is honorable if you do your best.
I asked what people say behind her back.
She giggled and said, probably that she's too dumb to get a better job.
"Habits of thought persist through the centuries; and while a healthy brain may reject the doctrine it no longer believes, it will continue to feel the same sentiments formally associated with that doctrine."
Charlotte Perkins Gilman
I'm supposed to be learning to stop the world, do recapitulation, perfect a dreaming body, learn to gaze, learn to see, get my body as healthy as possible etc., etc., etc. WOW! I do know how to eat an elephant, I'm just not sure where to take the first bite. So I don't feel I'm making progress that way but it seems my double is coming at me. I had the "I'm a pet" episode a couple of weeks ago. I keep having moments where I look at my arm and hand and it belongs to an animal, I'm the animal but I'm also the me looking at me, a little bit of a mind fuck. Kinda hard to meld the 2 into 1 in my head. I also have the 'impression' my double was surprised to find out what 'I' am,(great ape). There I am, feeling the animal part of me very strongly while I'm in the shower, and I get a sense of the 'spirit' of the animal I am and it was excited, exuberant and highly energetic but did not act that way because it was 'behaving'. That threw a new level of domestication on me. That awareness also brought me a gift, until that point I was not approaching my path confident I could succeed but I now know that is is possible I can succeed.
You make me wonder, if the positions of the assemblage point where you can turn into an animal, or pick up their properties like strength, are actually along a continuum with the human position.
In other words, all possible animal forms, including human, are just a line in the nagual. We're typically stuck on one of those paths.
So Shamanism emphasizes animals and such, because that's where our awareness focuses.
I really appreciate your replies. The things you perceive I am only able to conceive of via descriptions I have been given. So now I am this amazing animal and if I were interested in animism I'd pick homo sapien. So I have this extremely animated, very high energy, excitable body I live in however the body indicates it 'behaves' which feels like a compelled restraint to me. It's like the great ape lives at an energy level like a 100 watt bulb but I am at my very brightest running about 15 watts. It's as if having a rational mind has a zombie like effect on animal me. So is my internal dialogue this story I keep telling myself that turns the free animal into the zombie like creature which is all I have allowed myself to be. I read somewhere our 'mind' is a foreign installation. It feels like that. It seems my double, that non human 'thing' that intends me wants to meet me as much as I want to meet it.
One thing you have going for you, is you're aware of being held back by the internal dialogue.
I run into people who don't even know what that is. And most of the time, I can never manage to get them to notice it before they move on.
Using don Juan's river of poop analogy, it's as if they wading around in the river of filth, and when you tell them to come out and you'll hose them off, to get rid of all that nasty stuff, they believe you're talking about a few solid pieces of poop, floating too close to them. They grab them, toss them out of the river, and proclaim themselves to be free of the filth.
In other words, they're splitting hairs in the river of shit. They're liking some of the shit, but not other parts.
You have to climb out! Not make an inventory of the stuff.
Fortunately for you, you can already see the shit. So all you have to do is actually work hard.
Some seem to think that Carlos had it easy, because don Juan just slapped his back, and made everything super fun.
Actually if you read closely, don Juan dropped him off in a hoard of angry sorcerers, who forced him to work. Typically all day long for what seems to have been weeks. They even tied him up for a while.
He had to do the hard work because he had no choice. Maybe on our own it's hard to find 3 hours time to practice, but he had no choice. They made him do it.
I asked Cholita last night, after she left her catatonic state, and after she stopped laughing out of control. Did Carlos ever put pressure on the women in his group, to work harder?
Maybe asking them to practice specific tasks for several hours at a time?
Stuff 3 of them in a box, and tell them to recapitulate until he lets them out?
Put them in darkness and force them to keep looking, until they see colors?
I couldn't get an answer out of Cholita.
And another odd thing. When I mentioned Joanie, she started laughing again, then put her headphones back on, turned up her iphone music, and wouldn't talk anymore.
I'm trying to figure out if Carlos sent me on a stalking mission involving Joanie. But I can't even find out if Cholita ever met her.
Edited
A little over a month ago I was feeling very lost and overwhelmed and isolated. I was trying to find a place that had answers. Somebody that knew something. Today I am being mentored by someone who calls Casteneda Carlos. How cool can that be? I do have a very keen eye for the blatantly obvious so I got the 'try doing something, that might help with the results".
I don't know who you are, Cholita is a woman in your life and I have no idea who Joanie is. I am always curious. What is a stalking mission? Entering someone's dreams? Again my gratitude.
A stalking mission is where you want to accomplish a goal, with least resistance.
I went on a 2 week stalking trip to secure a double woman. The task included a herd of wild rats, 2 Tibetan Monks, schmoozing up to Asian businessmen using the 3 stooges as a template of behavior, and finally downing 10 large shots of whiskey for our rep in Singapore, in such a short period of time that it's actually dangerous.
(A custom in Asia).
Also I had to describe heaven for him, using a direct vision of it.
He's a daoist.
That's a complicated stalking mission.
It's easier to design those when you can see time as something approaching you.
Then you know when to walk into the obvious rats, instead of crossing the street.
Here's an example from Carlos' books. A boy was behaving badly, and Carlos asked don Juan about how to solve it.
Don Juan told him to hire the most horrible looking homeless man, have that man hide around the corner in places, and on the signal from the boy's father, of bad behavior, the man was supposed to jump out, and beat him up.
Not badly. But just enough to alter his view of the world, to STOP him.
Stopping the world is similar to that, but a lot more fun.
Let me mention something I saw yesterday, shopping with Cholita.
Boutique clothing stores often have a rack with inspirational books, to help troubled women.
No such books would sell at any men's clothing store.
Stuff like, "I could Pee on this Poems from Cats" (apparently cats are pretty bitter about life),
"He's a stud, she's a whore; the double standard." (a women's lib book),
"The female body image" (with a picture of a very hot junior high girl in a bra, deciding if her breasts are big enough),
and fun picture books of frowning male donuts getting dunked into filthy thick coffee, by pink smiling female cupcakes who obviously got the best of them.
On the wall behind the cash register was a big sign: "Life works best when there is love at the heart of a home."
I was thinking to myself, "What a load of fucking horseshit!!! Who on earth is going to fall for that????"
Cholita came out of the dressing room and looked at the poster, then glared at me.
Obviously I was what was blocking love in her home.
A few women shoppers noticed it, and commented to their friends how wise the saying was.
They were actually inspired. It was like a parting gift from store management, in case you couldn't afford to buy as many clothes as you wanted.
I'm no good to help that female mindset. You'll need a little side order of cleargreen fruit salad, to go with your male sorcerer steak.
(Wait... Na. I wouldn't do that.)
Cholita read half the books on that rack, then decided she needed to concentrate on clothes, and put the rest of the books from the rack on her stack at the checkout counter.
I had to carry the very heavy inspirational books around for the next two hours, as she shopped in 3 more stores. By hour 3, she was the mortal enemy of all single 50 year old women strolling by the shops with their tiny pampered and slightly vicious dogs.
It was how many fancy bags of new clothes we were carrying along.
Edited: Because I'm probably bitter too.
Let me answer the question about stalking better.
If you REALLY become a sorceress, you'll be hated. An outcast.
Friends and family will attack you.
Ok, that's an exaggeration. But only because you'll have to learn stalking to get along.
Then you'll figure out what it is, without any explanation.
For example, when my family asks what I did last night, I can't tell the truth.
I can't say, "Oh man, can you believe what my little fairy did??? She materialized in full size, in a see-thru baby doll dress. I could even see realistic looking..."
Nope. Can't do that.
Instead, you learn to say, "Oh, you know. I just watch Magnum PI reruns all night."
It's beyond sad, not being able to have an honest conversation about something so fundamental to being truly human, which 99.999% percent of us, including myself, sadly aren't.
In ages past we'd tell stories of power around the campfire, now we post YouTube videos of makeup reviews and when a door opens up "paranormally" we make the sign of the cross and pray for Jesus to protect us from Satan.
As per Carlos' instructions, a summary of the interesting aspects of the bible I found, from our point of view. There's a couple more sorcerers in there, but it's been a long time since I read them.
The Prophets = A lineage of Paleo Jewish Sorcerers. They spent a lot of time alone in the desert, but there were also caves where groups studied together. Their mortal enemies were the "fish people" (Akkadians), who wrote the only real magic book I'm aware of, outside Abramelin.
Jewish Priests of old = Diviners who relied on precious stones and sticks
Jesus= Qaballah Practitioner Supreme
Witch of Endor: Actual witch from bible, using intent to manifest beings for others (conduct seances). I posted one way to do her technique.
Balaam: Sorcerer who was on speaking terms with God, but got greedy for silver and pissed him off. Punished by a talking donkey.
Gideon: Jewish mystic on speaking terms with God, who obeyed him and suffered endlessly for it.
Ezekiel: Sorcerer who pleased God so much, he took him to another world
Demons: Spirits of feelings, such as Jealousy and Anger (inorganic beings). Jewish tradition is clearer on this, Christian tradition is polluted with Chinese hell images popular in the Greek world in the time of Christ.
The Nagual: Outer darkness (outside the kingdom of heaven)
Carlos never denied there was a heaven. After all, he saw it a few times.
I guess the contention was, it's just another element on the Island of the Tonal. And if you did go there, it's a dead world. Nothing every changes. So why is that desirable?
Jewish perspective: Nothing ever changes because God is eternal, and you're fully protected there in some dimension outside this physical matter one.
What was the name of the one you're thinking of? Maklu (‘burning’), Surpu (‘consuming’), Utukki limnûti (‘evil spirits ’), and Labartu (‘witch-hag ’) series, besides many other texts dealing with magical practices.
https://www.ancient-origins.net/history-ancient-traditions/mesopotamian-witchcraft-0011494
And you forgot Simon:
https://www.gotquestions.org/Simon-the-Sorcerer.html
And also John the Baptist, said to have very strong spiritual hutzpah, and followers. Maybe a double-being like don Juan.
I was forced to, at first, and later voluntarily read the Bible cover to cover multiple times, and there are indeed a suspicious number of sorcerers and magical acts in there for a religion that professes to abhor them. Chief of them all being Yeshua Bar Yehosef or Yeshua Nasraya (Jesus).
I know next to nothing about Islamic "magic." If it exists. Possibly the Sufis, or Whirling Dervishes? Gurdjieff studied with various groups in the middle-east. Anyone? We seem to have never addressed it.
The Book of the Demons of Akad.
As I recall, he was a "me-too" type sorcerer, trying to make money off it.
I'll dare to say, anyone teaching classes for money, or giving demonstrations to gain money, is NOT a real sorcerer.
They're trying to be perhaps, but never made it. So they became cynical and decided to cash in and get some social attention.
Cholita had some harsh things to say about specific people engaged in that. I'd never heard her analyze something that well.
But I won't name names because everyone here would know who she was criticizing.
I believe that library you mention is the origin of the book of demons. The single page of it that I've seen, was a copy of the much older original.
Between the famous 2 rivers in that area was almost no lumber. But a heck of a lot of clay because of the banks washing over from time to time.
The libraries back then mostly used papyrus or clay. The clay wasn't fired, so it was fragile.
But the papyrus was far worse, and is nearly all lost.
The book of the demons of Akad was almost certainly fallen angels magic. They taught women to put on makeup and jewelry, and taught men about war and killing machines.
And they could naturally do magic, since they were not organic beings.
The book of demons was cursed by God, never to be re-assembled.
I can't recall the source for that information, I've read a bunch of stuff like that.
I tried to get an anthropologist to put it back together, but he didn't see any point to it.
He doesn't believe in magic, so it has no importance to him, beyond anything else from that library. Also, if he became too obsessed with gathering all the clay tablet pages, he'd get a reputation in the university as being off his rocker.
The prejudice against magic is insidious. You have to be there to realize how extensively controlled we are.
Maybe with his fliers myth (or not), Carlos merely wanted us to think in those terms. That we're controlled by an outside force, and should watch for it.
In the course of being paranoid, you're sure to notice that it's not a mythical blob licking your toes.
It's your friends and family that pose the biggest risk.
Consider that they're all pretty much trolls in your life, once you start practicing real magic.
It's amazing when you think about it! How do they sell Christianity?
With Jesus' super powers. It's all about the super powers.
But members of that religion are fearful of that kind of thing.
I have a hair dresser from south American, and got to chatting with her about Cholita.
I figured she'd understand about witches, being from a place that still has them.
Instead she was worried I'd be cursed and condemned to hell by having Cholita around, and wanted to get some friends to intervene.
While you're on whirling dervishes, you could also add Kabuki.
Kabuki is absolutely capable of assembling other worlds for the players. Perhaps that's why Carlos invented infinity theater.
I don't know. I've never seen any, and neither has Cholita.
It's the ritualized Kabuki movements which seem promising to me.
If they did those in absolute silence, it could be amazing.
Considering all the sorcerers and witches still left in Japan, I'd have to figure they know about it.
But you can't exactly go to the local Kabuki school, and ask them if they know how to open portals to other dimensions.
I tried that with Yamazaki, a famous Karate/sword master around here.
He wasn't pleased.
It's a hazing system. You only get to ask that kind of question after lots of hazing (money).
Edited
Did you know, the term, "Bruja" in Spanish seems to imply being an old hag?
I thought it was just a sorceress.
Cholita was drinking champagne with me a couple of nights ago, and she was dancing kind of oddly. (And she let me make a video!)
A waiter who speaks Spanish very well asked me about it, and I said, "Don't mind her. She's a Bruja."
He replied, "Oh nooooo Sir! She is very beautiful."
While I'm at it, and to hide it a little buried down here deep, Carlos did seem to disapprove of gay behavior.
He didn't hold it against anyone, as the formation of Cleargreen and private classes shows. If you go looking for former "apprentices", you'll find at least 3 gay fan clubs.
Instead of switching to yoga, or becoming me-too apprentices to cash in, they formed gay pride blogs.
Still, I wanted to know the term that Carlos often used to refer to gay men, when Cholita was around.
He said they were ALL maricones.
I couldn't get Cholita to tell me who they were around when he said that, but I suspect he was merely out and about in Los Angeles.
The last time Cholita and I were at Century City Mall, every male waiting on us in clothing stores was super flamboyant.
Cholita loves that. And gay men seem to be better at dealing with paranoid schizophrenic women, especially if they're well dreassed, and have a husband following them around, trying to make them happy.
I suspect that's a gold mine to a salesman.
Cholita was even admiring his visiting lovers butt, as he bent over to get shoe advice from our sales guy.
I told her, he's gay. You're barking up the wrong tree.
Cholita replied, "So what. He's got a great butt!"
There was also male french kissing pretty much all over the mall.
Either 30% of the normal population has been gay all along, and it was suppressed, or LA attracts more gay men.
I said the same thing Carlos did, when I saw the french kissing.
"They're ALL gay???"
That's my bet! That 30% figure is way overblown for most other places. Overblown, hee hee...
Speaking of overblown, Cholita has decided I'm prudish.
We were talking about her mortal enemy, an Asian woman who took her last boyfriend.
Paranoid Schizophrenic women often chase a man as a last-ditch effort to keep from being homeless.
Then he becomes the supervillain in their delusions. And his Asian girlfriend is one focus of her wrath.
She asked me why he has an Asian girlfriend who isn't even particularly pretty?
I explained, Asian women are different.
They start off at 100% in bed.
You ought to have to coax some things out of them, using bribery and alcohol. And they ought to look like they aren’t enjoying it.
But no. They just jump right in and get going.
Cholita concluded, I'm a prude.
I finally was able to 'constuct' a cave, for under $30. My attempts so far at recapitulation are not what I thought they would be. I have very little detail available as of yet. (walking down the school halls as Taisha described) but I feel that will come with practice. What I have found unusual is that each episode is like a Paul Harvey story revealing the rest of the story. I am very aware now that I was not aware of all that was going on during the events I'm recalling and I am learning more of what 'really' was going on as I recall the event. It seems to be an educational/learning experience...so far.
I'm feeling more motivated now. It seems the chance to gain knowledge, power, escape annihilation at death and moving the assemblage point would be sufficient, but when I found out a full sized fairy could be materialized in a see through with realistic looking...well that cinched it!
A Fairy's nipples?
That's not even weird in my world these days.
( I wish I could repeat what Cholita said about nipples 2 days ago, but it's too much even for this subreddit. Cholita is a nasty girl. )
I suspect it was the Fairy entity that moved that plate in a restaurant 2 or 3 days ago.
Cholita has somehow influenced it. I can’t summon the Fairy anymore, but the two of us can. And during the day!
An account of that is sort of buried elsewhere, until I figure out how to get Cholita to do it on demand.
Summary: Cholita looked at a small Dim Sum plate in a restaurant, and made it move 3 times. She slid it across the table at least 4 inches on the last try.
I’m thinking, $$$$$ for Cholita if she can levitate plates for people. You could take a beginner in Castaneda’s world, show them that, and remove all doubts.
That would be valuable!
It seems to require our combined energy. That verifies more accounts from Carlos’ books, where his mere presence let the other apprentices do more than they could without him around.
So add to the weirdness of a Fairy, Cholita pushing small plates around on a table in a restaurant without touching them.
Yep, Carlos didn’t lie about that one either!
I’ll add something that’s mostly off topic. Last night I was "tickling the web", a Tensegrity move I'd overlooked.
Turns out, it's visual if you get good at it. You can actually see "the web" as you tickle it, and the effects of the tickling.
I was kind of embarrassed for Kylie, getting all excited and animated with glee, for how well everyone tickled the web at a workshop.
Seemed pretend to me. What, some web we’ll never feel? Is it like wearing special crystals, and pretending there’s some effect?
But it isn’t like that. It’s just what it says. You switch from seeing puffs of color, to looking for black and white/yellow strands.
When you find them, you tickle them to make them more prominent. It’s Zuleica’s technique again!
Had to mention that, in case Cholita murders me tonight. She smacked me hard twice yesterday.
About recapitulation: One important thing is to try to "understand" what happened.
For instance, I had a very troublesome person in my life, and always held it against them. Recapitulating everything I could remember didn’t seem to do the job.
But with Cholita around, I've become familiar with paranoid schizophrenia symptoms.
I realized, that troublesome person had a milder form of what Cholita has.
If I'd figured that out in recapitulation, I could have saved years of trying to clean up that connection. All the clues were there. I was simply oblivious to it.
It's almost like, if you have fussy feelings for someone out there, or any type of emotion, you have an obligation to them in tenuous way.
Unresolved business perhaps. Even if you don’t owe them a thing, it’s almost as if you do.
But just like you need to pay back debts, to free up energy (for instance Carlos' account of buying a woman a car), you can also free up energy by understanding something.
So even if you missed some interactions during recap, if you start to fuss about those while trying to become silent, the idea comes to mind that the entire situation was a misunderstanding and isn't your concern anymore. As a result, you can drop it before you get lost in thinking about it.
Recap also strengthens dreaming attention, teaches about movements of the assemblage point, frees up energy, and makes it easier to assemble other worlds.
There’s nothing like seeing “the wall” form on the inside of your room, and an amazing city appears on it, just as it did in that poster the blue scout (or someone else) painted.
You want so badly to walk into that world.
And then you start thinking about an argument with your sister, 30 years ago. You forget what you were doing for too long. Your internal dialogue resumes.
My understanding of that situation: While practicing silence and trying to assemble another world, it’ll take so long that the command to take an inventory will surely come from wherever it comes from.
We aren’t left alone when we practice. We’re always being commanded to think again. To take an inventory of the emanations inside us.
If we get that command while silent, and start to fuss about something in our inventory, having recapitulated it insures it doesn’t last long enough to be a problem.
If you haven’t recapitulated it, it’ll stick in your mind too long. You’ll get lost in thought.
The city goes away and won’t come back.
That’s why recap is important to me.
It gives more freedom to change worlds.
I finally figured out what Clara meant when she told Taisha "Now is now." (took a while) I finally gave up my medical marijuana because sobriety doesn't happen with an altered mind. I have a spinal cord stimulator which is a small generator, under the skin, with 2 leads placed on the spinal cord to send signals to block the pain. After 2 major surgeries and 28 years of continuous chronic pain I opted for stimulator. I only mention this because 6 weeks ago, after starting all this, I was able to turn off my stimulator. I'm healing, or rather my body is. I promised my body (myself) that I would start to take care of it and heal it with what actions I can take in the here and now. I am not certain which I I am when I am talking to myself. I believe, at this point, that it is my double that intends me. That's a little bit of a mind f*** but it is certainly much better than than not being aware.
On a different track...my recapping seems to wander. I started with my 5th wife and our wedding but ended up doing a major event from when I was 4 years old. Paula, dark curly hair with soft brown eyes. We spent the summer together. (at 4 that's a long time) We had our entire lives planned out. First school, then we'd get big and get jobs and then we'd get married. The summer ended and I didn't see Paula again for 35 years. In the recap I learned 2 things. First I had promised Paula I would always love her. 2nd was the reason I had been through so many women in my adult life was that I was searching for Paula. I had made a promise at 4 years old and kept it. Forgetting that I had made the promise didn't change the promise. Nobody was ever her. That brought up another memory from the same summer which I have thought about a few times over the last 60 years. I had a bright yellow plastic horn with a red bulb you'd squeeze to honk it. It was mounted on the right side of the handle bar of my tricycle. I decided I wanted it to be on the post that mounted into tricycle itself so I slid to the center and then down the post. As soon as I did it I 'knew' I couldn't do it but I'd already done it. It wasn't physically possible to slide that down because the handle bar was a welded T. I guess I just didn't know that at the time. I'm starting to recall a few events here and there that are questionable as to 'How did that ever happen?"
You've mentioned Zuliceia a couple of times. Who is she? I am able to learn about her?
Also I don't recall reading about Casteneda buying a woman a car, just curious what book.
I would appreciate any tips on stopping the internal dialogue, but I do expect to be told to practice more and work harder.
I now know I'm going to make it. It seems to be my fate but it is also the destiny I have chosen. I know it's more than just me involved.
Again my thanks to you. At this point you are the only person in the world I can talk to about things. It helps me, you're teaching me and I really appreciate that. I am starting to look forward to writing here. It helps me.
Not a problem. But when you notice it, and if there's no more point in remaining where you wandered, then just go back to the list.
The wandering is potential entry to dreaming scenes, so it's not such a bad thing. But, it is a good idea to follow the list because you had more sobriety when you wrote it.
Don't judge them if you can avoid it. Happened or didn't doesn't matter.
I don't know if you're in the range of false memories, but just to be safe, never accuse anyone of something you "discovered" in recap.
I lost a student to that.
Zuleica was don Juan's equivalent of Cholita. A powerful dreamer who was also schizophrenic.
As best I can figure, people like that have to be protected. And the best thing you can do with them, is get them to help your sorcery cause in return for protection.
Carlos was brought to her, to activate his second attention, and merge it with his first attention.
It's in Eagle's Gift. Get the pdf version and search for her name.
The best tip is, explain to me what happens when you try. Exactly what happens to make the thoughts come back too quickly.
And why you can't just make that happen less.
The most important thing for stopping the internal dialogue is to turn your head to look inward, so you can understand the situation.
I don't want to get too spooky about using that, "turn your head" analogy, since it's kind of a loaded phrase in Carlos' books.
But that's exactly what happens, when the second attention's dreaming body takes over. You perceive your head turning because you switched into a different body, and it's looking in a different direction.
That has to be activated at least a little, in order to see what the internal dialogue really is.
So while you are suffering trying to shut it off, just keep in mind you're actually clearing out a path. There's just a lot of junk there.
Don't think, "If only I could shut it off right now, I'd get myself a Fairy in a Sailor Suit!"
Just enjoy the (horrible) experience of shutting it off, and don't expect any rewards but to nod off in boredom.
Thanks again. When I referred to How did that ever happen, I was referring to unusual events in my life not connected to anyone, more like moments of "how did I do that".
When I try to stop the internal dialogue I assume I am seeking complete silence in my mind. No thoughts at all. I don't know if that's correct or not. I try to concentrate on the sound or feeling of breathing but then words like in and out come or 1 and 2 come into my mind. I have a concept in my mind that stopping the dialogue is like meditation where one tries to quiet ones thoughts, but I have never meditated either. The thoughts that sneak in when I try to do this are much quieter than normal. I don't know if that's progress or not but I think it is. Other than just giving up I don't know why I can't make it happen less. I do think that part of it is that I need some time, a week, to clear my mind from the meds. I know it has affected my memory and thought functions.
I have never disciplined myself in my entire life...so I need to do that. I guess every journey starts with 1 step..the rest is just staying in the same direction with the following steps..same path.
I'm confused. I have to stop the dialogue in order to be in an enhanced state of awareness...but I have to be in heightened awareness to 'turn my head'?
I'm up to 2 hours a day so far. Breathing, recap, silence and magical passes and more reading. I am doing a little more each day. I am not a quitter, very stubborn.
I keep thanking you. You are my only connection to anyone magical. So I thank you again and I also thank Power for you.
Krishnamurti explains that so well, I have a hard time.
The "talking" voice in your head is what you need to get rid of.
Not the vast majority of your thoughts, which behave themselves and only come out to give you answers and ideas.
You have to get rid of the "commentator". And while doing that, familiarize yourself with him. So that it's no longer hard to understand what you're getting rid of.
Once you do that, something cool will happen. But probably you'll doze off or blank out.
That's the assemblage point moving a little too far, and too fast, for you to keep up.
So you blank out.
But you won't get that the next time, because you get more used to it. Eventually you'll be able to be absolutely silent for minutes at a time, but maybe still nothing cool will happen.
Then you need to go looking for images in the mind. Fantasy images, frozen like a picture on a wall.
Typically a grievance of some kind.
Get rid of those. Then all hell will break loose!
YES!!! Precisely.
Sometimes someone will want my help, I'll give them the instructions for attaining silence, but after a few weeks, they can't even tell me why they're failing.
My guess is, they exaggerated the effort they put into it, and don't want to get caught. So they string me along.
What I want to hear is, "I could manage 3 seconds, but then "pop tart" came into my head. I don't know why. I was shaking in fear at what word would pop out next, trying to silence them all. But it came anyway."
That's someone who will make it, if they keep trying.
You have to be able to SEE the bad guy, before you can deal with him.
Meditation you say? It's a trick. Cheating. But cheating is fine.
Just think, "aing, aing, aing..." over and over, gently. You'll drift off into la-la land. Eventually you'll see the room with your eyes closed.
So it works the same. Except that people sit around thinking that mantra for decades, then get angry and change gurus.
Because no one ever told them, "THAT'S IT!!! That thing right there. Get more of that!"
Instead they hear, "Well, it can take several lifetimes..."
Sort of. I just used the "turn your head" description because as you force yourself silent, perhaps just sitting in a chair with eyes closed, you are in fact turning your dreaming attention inward, on the contents of your mind.
But it's not a satisfying type, like you'd get if you were already in heightened awareness.
You're just learning what it looks like, in that messy head of yours.
If you turn it while in heightened awareness, you're likely to see wonders! Another world right there beside you. And you just need need one step, to enter it.
That's gonna work, unless most of that 2 hours is reading.
There's a bunch of us in here who must have spent 5 hours a day reading Carlos' books, for years.
Won't do anything other than "hook you".
But you still have to chew on the bait.
The information helped. There were a couple of quiet thoughts...'listen for the commentator'... and another I don't recall. Then a much louder thought said "I can't do this" and another loud thought I don't recall.
First, I freak out thinking that 'I' am the internal dialogue. (hard to wrap around that one)
Secondly, I think something is saying it is I and that is the internal dialogue. (if so I now know how it speaks)
Thirdly, I have no idea yet.
He's also known as, "the repeater".
The second attention is angry when it first comes out. You've been ignoring it for too long.
You'll react to it's angst and get confused. Drawn in.
You might become "fussy" during practice.
Now distinct from that conflict, is the internal dialogue.
They aren't the same thing.
But both can be adversarial at first.
Later, the second attention won't be angry and will help you out. I believe the anger is generated by an echo of sorts, from exploring new assemblage point positions, but with full internal dialogue.
The micro shifts, or drifting, of the assemblage point (which is inevitable so don't worry if it's happening), "smooshes" your internal dialogue. It doesn't quite fit into the new context, so it oozes out at the sides.
It makes you fussy. Preoccupied with too many things at once, so that none of them are clear.
That means my analogy of a separate being isn't quite right. It's not gonna be you and him (although it can be).
But the analogy works at first.
The second attention copy of yourself can even curse you!
But if it does, you have a good chance of hearing the voice of seeing earlier than usual.
As you keep trying to suppress it, you'll become familiar with the defeatist obsessions of the internal dialogue.
It'll get tiring. And then you'll be able to drop it faster.
It can even threaten you with sensations and worries of madness.
Or angering God.
It'll even tell you, without it's wonderful company, you'll be horribly lonely.
Don't believe it.
It's like getting rid of a bad spouse. As they're leaving, you worry you may actually miss them sometimes.
But once they're gone, you realize how incredibly burdensome they were.
Edited twice
Perhaps this is when the type of life you've lived, up to the point when the second attention starts to come out more fully, becomes very important. Your life experiences and what you've chosen to focus on and pursue, hopefully weren't too far off from what INTENT ideally wants. If it in fact wants anything even remotely humanly comprehensible...
But don't forget childhood experiences too. Those are in the back, to back you up later on.
Kind of like, effect before cause.
Before you went completely nutty around age 12 (internal dialogue switched on permanently), you had accidental moments of silence, with the second attention coming out.
Naturally, being brainwashed by your parents, you'd just assumed you had a sort of half dream, as you were resting and falling asleep. Or you were daydreaming.
Kids know all about that, until they forget all about it on growing up.
But it's not like that. It wasn't just a dream. You moved your assemblage point. Falling asleep also was not necessary.
We've just been taught to associate an assemblage point shift with falling asleep, because society is unaware of the assemblage point.
Children "discover" how to activate the second attention all the time. It used to happen (in olden times before smart phones with video games) that children would have nothing to do, no place to go, and be forced to sit still.
Often they would "hypnotize" themselves by watching something that gave them pleasure. They might even have learned to do it on a repeated basis, if they had to remain still in that situation, on a repeated basis.
No one encouraged them. In fact, the opposite is true. For even mentioning such a thing, punishment was common. Verbal bullying mostly. The kind of punishment we scarcely notice anymore (until you become a sorcerer).
If you did that in school, you ended up with a parent teacher meeting, about how you shouldn't be staring off into space like that. It has to be fixed.
It was common, if you think about your time back in elementary school.
Small children staring off into space.
If they kept it to themselves, and learned to repeat the pleasurable activity, they did in fact become temporary sorcerers.
I once learned to get completely silent, while riding in a station wagon at night.
Back then (in those olden days), there were no seat belts in cars. They even seemed to make car seats deliberately slick, so that sliding into the car was super easy. You could take a running leap onto the seat, and slide all the way across.
You could even pull pranks of your friends, take a sharp turn, and make them slide into the door. Hard.
No one back then thought, maybe that's not such a good thing?
No, it was a feature! Non-stick seats.
Kids just hopped all around the cabin, even setting up slip and slides in the back, if they had a station wagon.
I discovered that if you leaned against a certain part of the car, where you really ought not to be sitting, so that your head was angled to the traffic ahead just right, and if you gazed out at the red tail lights, while driving at night, you could find another world where the tail lights gave off extreme happiness, and the darkness was filled with purple structures giving off a spooky but enjoyable energy.
It was nighttime heaven!
And I could "feel" how to do it. You just make a certain feeling of letting go, and it happens.
It sort of felt like dying. But with no scary implications.
I only remembered about it today, due to the level of "all the time" silence that Cholita requires. Without it, she's intolerable.
When I remembered it, my assemblage point shifted back there and I was again in that amazing happiness world of red lights and purple haze.
Driving down the 91 Fwy.
Edited
I use to do this with my Snoopy nightlight of him with goggles and scarf piloting his WWI "fighter plane" from atop his doghouse. I'd wake up in the middle of the night, probably around 3:00-5:00 AM, not sleepy and afraid to open my door so my parents could hear me sneaking out to watch late night tv.
I'd put my knuckles/fists under my chin and stare at it in my dark room for long stretches of time. Similar to one of those magical passes Taisha details, or poses of some Meso-American clay figures I've seen.
I don't yet remember what happened those nights, but I still have that nightlight.
What was in that empty lot?
Inorganic beings all over the place.
For newbies: Don't get bent out of shape on "inorganic being". It just means, it's alive, and has no body.
It doesn't imply a jaguar or basket with teeth. Could just be an "inorganic gnat" for all I know.
It's difficult for me to see them in daylight. But I saw puffs of white moving along, as if a tiny patch of strong fog had broken off and drifted.
I guess they might have been mistaken for real smoke, assuming anyone else could have seen them. But they deviated course when I got near. Some even swirled around my legs as if trying to figure out what I was.
I saw a large blue ball, as bright as if you shined a blue flashlight on the ground during the day.
And lots of small black dots, darting around. They leave waves of black and white, like ripples in a lake except not circular.
The ripples remind me of what you can see, using "tickling the web", a tensegrity technique I was embarrassed to see Kylie doing, because it seemed so silly and pointless.
If Carlos had merely explained that if you get silent, you can actually see the web, it might have stood out as more important than it did.
But he never told us that! How come?
I'd say that tickling the web is one of those hidden technologies Carlos casually put into the tensegrity.
Those techniques are waiting for seers to figure them out in more detail.
I was actually looking for power objects. That empty lot was hunted on by native Americans hundreds of years ago. I wanted to see the sparkle described in Second Ring of Power.
Artifacts are extremely rare in that location, but it is possible to find some.
Anyone interested in power object hunting, using seeing, might want to try the roads around Palm Springs.
They've found whistles, beads, pipes, and of course, tons of broken pottery.
Just stop on the road leading there, get out, and look at the sandy banks near the road. If you see broken pottery, you have at least a temporary camp. If you find a giant bolder with small basins worn into it, you have an actual settlement.
I used to own (rent to) a mansion down there, which had an entire Indian village site on the property.
It was an ideal place for a sorcery group. 17 rooms, an airplane hanger, a guard house, and a wrought iron fence all around.
It was dirt cheap, because it had been built inside a Hollywood boom town, around an artificial lake.
Stars used to go there to get smashed, and to go to rehab.
Bela Lugosi was said to have owned that particular building as a rehab clinic for early Hollywood. He owned other properties down there.
The mansion was very strange. I was afraid to even walk from one end to the other, at night.
These days however, I'd walk it as much as I could. It produced a shiver up the spine. It could move your assemblage point!
One of the entry ways had a full sized fountain in it, with a gigantic living room, containing a fireplace you could almost stand inside.
In one bedroom, there was a door. The room was on the 2nd or 3rd floor, depending on how you looked at it.
If you opened the door and stepped through it, you might die.
It was a sheer drop to some rocky soil.
I can't imagine what that door was there for.
I would say too bad you sold it or whatever, but the leftover intent of such a place as that would likely cross-pollinate with the Sorcerer's Intent and make things needlessly complicated.
Something new, on a natural power spot, or previously used by a like-minded group would be much preferable.
Edit: on the other hand, the challenge of transmuting and appropriating such a leftover intent might be a sorcerey task in and of itself.
I suspect the original Indian village was in fact built on a power spot.
If I hadn't been told differently, I would have concluded the place was occupied by sorcerers at one time. Especially with that door to the outside, on the second floor.
It would be ideal for shape shifting and flying out of the house.
There was a matrix of wooden porches and decking with long wooden stairs connecting them.
Gigantic parties must have been held there in times past.
That mansion was likely on Grand Ave, around Lake Elsinore. But I haven't had it since Carlos died. There didn't seem to be any point after that.
And 5 years ago when I tried to find it again, I couldn't. But it was very close to the entrance to highway 74 in Lake Elsinore.
Oddly, I inquired all around the area trying to find it again, but the locals had no idea it was there.
Edited: in case someone in the future wants to locate it. Look for a hidden airstrip (very grown over) with a guard tower, behind a very large wrought iron fence. The main building is to the right of the guard tower. In front of the main building are low granite boulders, with grinding stone basins carved into them. The land is lush with growth. It's said that the Indians living there (possibly Luiseno) only had to gather food for 2 days per week.
The Luiseno occupied the area around there for 10,000 years!
Mc Conville Airstrip?
No, but it's right around there. I suspect when they first built up the area for movie stars, lots of small landing strips were around.
This airstrip was so small, I doubt you could land anything but a tiny prop plane there, and even that would be tricky.
No way it would be legal these days.
Marylin Monroe was said to have stayed there a while, when she was in really bad shape. However, there's tons of stories like that, about Lake Elsinore.
I failed to realize the main building was on a power spot. But now it's so obvious.
Imagine not wanting to walk across the place at night, because your skin started to crawl.
These days I spend hours trying to get a tingle!
I guess I'll intend something here.
If I get that back, I'll give it to Cholita. It could open up amazing possibilities.
And it's large enough that she could hide so far away, we never ran into each other.
(She still despises me.)
A new Sorcerer's House for a separate global lineage of outsiders, close enough to Cleargreen to learn any of their remaining secrets right from the source. I kind of like the sound of that! It's good to have long term intent, and not long term plans which are usually up-ended by life.
And the airstrip, reworked, could allow drone deliveries and landing of those convertible helicopter/cars that I saw a prototype of last month.
That's why I prefer "incorporeal being."
Is it near the Elsinore Naval & Military school? That place is rumored to be haunted, the only review on google maps is “terrible, don’t do it” :)
Everything around Lake Elsinore is haunted. It was a hollywood party town in times past. Now it's a festering, rotting, smelly man-made lake, with balloon rides in places that have dried up too much.
The annual entertainment down there is watching all the fish die and float to the shores. While you're watching, you can take advantage of the plentiful strung-out hookers on Grand Ave. My property used to be plagued with them. They'd sneak in and sleep in an unused area.
But I believe you were right the first time about where it was located.
I understood that the little dirt road leading into the hanger, on that property, was the landing strip.
But instead, it's probably an access road from the air strip you mentioned. People landed there, and taxied to their homes.
Next time I'm up there I might walk along the roads near your airport, to see if it leads to that house.
Except, Cholita is still missing. If she killed herself, there's no use for that mansion.
Hopefully cleargreen people took her in for a while.
If they did, I just hope she doesn't move anything for them, using just her glance.
I'll never get her back! She'll end up on stage at workshops, ranting about how she's been cut to pieces and used as fish bait.
"Repeater" was the definition I needed. Thank you. It helps to know what you want to flip off with the 1 finger salute. I have been working on stopping thoughts, only to find out 'my' internal dialogue likes to 'sing' to me. 2 things I think I've learned, it's very stubborn and it picks the dumbest, stupids songs it can find, just to piss me off I think. It is very forceful.
So what I have always thought was me, isn't. In my mind, (or not my mind) I picture some abstract, dark pterodactyl like creature with talons digging into my shoulders feasting on my emotions. The dialogue seems like a construct. Like being inside of a disco ball where any 'image' is reflected so much that is becomes distorted to the point it becomes unclear and generates confusion, frustration and dark emotions. I feel I have my own personal 'nightflyer'. So I am going with "we accrue silence second by second, moment by moment until we have enough." If I keep shoving bits of silence into my mind's warehouse eventually it has to push something out...there's only so much room.
The other day I was 'quieting' and staring at the floor with an unfocused gaze, hoping to spot a color, anything. This little gray cloud seemed to float from where my gaze was toward me. I immediately thought it was a speck of something on my eyeball, and so dismissed it. Then I thought I should try to repeat 'seeing' it, I tried and did see it again. When I gaze at objects in the room they get shrouded in a white haze. It's very soft and subtle.
Another thing I've noticed in myself has to do with promises. I've always been great at making promises, they were always like rules, something meant to be broken. I recently promised my body that I would treat it with love. First promise I've ever made that I intend to keep.
My recap list is growing as I fumble through it. 1 string always seems to lead to another.
I find this forum, and you, very helpful.
So here's the advantage of what I've been doing lately.
I'm accumulating a database of what can happen while learning sorcery.
Finding out there's music below the internal dialogue is common. I'd say 1/3rd of the time it's even annoying enough to seriously worry people trying to learn to get silent.
But it goes away, if you keep trying.
I'm just a cheerleader. Everyone has to learn through their own efforts, possibly because we have no Nagual around.
That'll change one day.
That's good to hear. I'm plagued by earworms while working actively on silence. I get there, and like a switch on a radio CLICK the earworm starts up...grrrr.....
Regarding the stuff seen in the darkness. It seems like the “second attention” stuff is on a different layer of vision than normal, with sparkles and colors that are too sharp and focused compared to the normal layer. And when this new layer cones into more focus it feels like it’s spinning and swirling at first, more difficult to keep “in place” than the normal layer. Does that sound right?
Yes, yes, yes, yes.....
It's one way to tell the second attention.
And if you learn daytime seeing, you'll need it!
I don't know where that pesky "voice of seeing" thing hangs out, but it doesn't help me very often.
Usually I have to figure things out for myself. And one trick, is remembering that anything comeing from the second attention is likely to be in perfect focus.
So lets say you're walking outside, and see a black dot zip past you, near your ankles.
It's just an insect, right?
But if you think more about it, you might realize you saw it perfectly.
And a very focused sharp black dot, zipping by, is NEVER in focus.
If you consider that some more, thinking about what details were in fact in focus, you'll uncover more buried memories about it.
For example, you seem to have forgotten, the 1/2 inch diameter black dot had 2 eyes, that were 2 inches in diameter.
How can you forget a detail like that?
It's because of how our memory works. We need an index in order to remember anything. A lookup key
We have very few indexes for the second attention, at first.
One of them is, how sharp was the focus? Think about the details. Now you're watching the second attention. Your assemblage point can shift.
I just finished reading Active Side of Infinity for the first time. The one thing I always had going for me was my wonderful mind. It separated me from everyone else, gave me unique perspectives and provided easy solutions. The other thing I had going for me was being smart. Now, instead of being so proud of 'my' wonderful mind I will be proud of what I was able to do with the 1 size that fits all mind.
Recap seems to be happening in a fog that is slowly, very slowly dissipating. The constant self-reflection of my life is becoming very apparent.
Silence has gone from "I wish I could get 30 seconds of it" to holding it for a few minutes. That achievement seems to extend the silence beyond my conscious effort to maintain it. I do voice the word intent loudly before I seek silence.
I have many questions I want to ask when the time is right. I trust I will know when that is.
Today is just to say I have taken some of your advice and to thank you because it seems to be working well.
I am doing very well.
I have an experimental student. Sorcery by absorption.
He’s familiar with all sorcery concepts, perhaps with deeper understanding than anyone who wasn’t in Carlos’ private classes.
But he doesn’t practice any of it.
And yet, he realizes how it works. He's come to the conclusion, recapitulation is just "getting it out of your system".
It’s like ranting to someone because you're angry. You can only rant so many times (unless you’re bi-polar) before you’re sick and tired of it.
Or it’s like women just wanting to complain about something to their husband.
They don't want it fixed. They want to describe it to a sympathetic ear. How unfair it was. How bizarre. How puzzling. Why did it happen to them?
They work that out in the complaining.
Children do something similar to learn. They set up a game. You’re the policeman. I’m the princess. We’re in love.
The overalls of the situation are set. Then, they don’t actually play the game. If you’ve been around children, you’ve noticed this. They spend all their time setting up a game, and extremely little playing it.
But later, if you follow them, you’ll find them with a toy policeman and a toy princess, acting it out on their own in a quiet little corner.
They have to fill in the rest of the missing stuff. Children are compelled to do that, because they can’t get enough interactions with real people, for how much learning they need.
They also receive the command to "take an inventory". But because they're relatively silent, they don't get stuck in internal dialogue, and actually take a look at what's inside. Then they can fill in missing pieces. You see them staring at their toys, talking to themselves.
When adults get the command to take an inventory, they flip out. They get stuck in a loop they never resolved. They try to fill in the missing details, as commanded, but they never get around to it. They just fuss, and fuss, and fuss.
And so, one possible way to improve the recap would be to realize, you're both the sympathetic ear, and also the guy trying to get something off his chest.
Use it up, go over it and over it, until it's old news.
It's just self-venting!
But you’re also just filling in missing details. Things you didn’t understand when it happened. Try to understand it better.
There's sure to be things you didn't understand at the time, buried in your past.
Recap is just a magnificent use of what we already do, naturally. Sorcerers have merely figured out how to fit the entire thing in a box (crate).
Then, when you’re in another world and trouble breaks out, or if you’re face to face with the Eagle who’s devouring your awareness, you won’t be thinking:
“Darn, I wish I hadn’t put that frog down her blouse, back in junior high…”
Maybe that’s what wipes everyone out on judgement day.
It certainly has a strong effect when trying to assemble other worlds. Your baggage holds you back. Mostly, the obligations I suspect. What you owe.
Carlos referred to the Eagle’s antics on our death as us having to account to “it” for everything we did.
Judgement day. Your life flashes before your eyes. If you can watch it without feeling anything, you can sneak around the eagle.
Anyone who tries, will make progress. Even if it's just a little bit everyday.
They just need to understand the difference between progress, and inspirational quotes.
But, there's a barrier even if you make progress everyday.
You actually start to learn, but get spoiled rotten. And then, you're back to doubt, of sorts.
Example: Last night I was pulling on a flat inorganic being, with a strained look on its face. I believe it was manifesting despite Cholita being around, but it wasn’t happy about it.
It snapped back from my grasp, and I noticed the walls were covered with wavy line details, like water worn small pathways, continuously changing.
(Not to mention, I could see the whole frigging room, even without lights!)
On the wall, presumably in that inorganic beings world, there were holes of mud, oozing other inorganic beings.
Mine slid back into one of the holes.
I pushed and pulled on a few of the others, and then got the feeling, “This isn’t working! I’m wasting my time here.”
I had to stop and look around. I was surrounded by people’s dreams that drifted in, but weren’t of any interest to me because Cholita wasn’t in any of them.
I wasn't accomplishing what I wanted, even though I was doing wonders. I was really wanting Cholita to show me that door again, so we could enter.
And so in my mind, I was failing.
Then I remember that when I started long ago, it was just a dark room. I’d gotten spoiled.
Occasionally a student of mine gets spoiled, decides it’s not working, and quits.
I usually lose them to Buddhism, because that's more like a "family", and they miss the warmth of the river of poop everyone normally lives in.
Edited: four times
I run across different versions of 'how to recap', what recap is. One is like a DVR version of my entire life to give to the eagle, a 'carbon copy' so to speak of my awareness. In one reading Juan Matus is saying to recap in one massive event, assuring yourself you never want to be the way you previously were. Another way says recap everyone you've ever known.(personally that sounds ridiculous) Another is to recap major events. To me that sounds like a more efficient and accurate way to sum up the 'totality' of my experiences. Recap of sex partners is recommended. I assume that that is usually a major event in a person's life. I also assume that most people have had a couple dozen or so relationships like that in their lifetime. If there are hundreds of such events then they are not major events but something with no more energy left in them then eating a meal at a restaurant....filling a basic need or desire of the body. Castenada talked about the usher bringing complete clarity to recap. Is the clarity needed to appease the eagle or simply to make things about ourselves clear to us?
I used to dismiss my accomplishments also. I thought if I did something, it of course had to be perfect. That was for me, just my ego. That perspective I dropped a while back.
I believe that power dictates what happens in my life. I could walk away from becoming a sorcerer. I could try to enjoy the world breathlessly until I died....but then every breath would be filled with dismay, regret and shame and dreams of paradise lost. I've had outside validation. My double spoke through me once. I saw the essence of the animal I am, a great ape. I understood from it that it is now 'behaving'. I sometimes wonder what kind of event initially could have made us behave. I believe that if there is a 'God' it only exists because of the intent of fools. I think men create gods because they are unaware they have personal power. So they create a construct, a supernatural deity that can accomplish anything and they use that construct to release their personal power and on very rare occasions actually accomplish something.
The sorcerers description almost sounds like everything exists inside an AI. True AI... sentient, self aware machinery.
I try not to think about things like that. It's like worrying about what you'll do with your millions, when your new invention pays off.
Better to just keep working on the new invention till it's sellable.
How to recap? I'll tell you what I did, but you won't like it.
I first made a list of absolutely everything I could remember. But, it was impossible, so I visited every place I'd ever lived, and wandered around looking for things I'd missed.
My list got even larger, but I realized I was still missing things. I was of course, recapitulating the entire time, so the list got bigger, then shorter, then bigger again.
Not satisfied, I went to grocery stores and examined every item on the shelf. Cream of Wheat? I'd forgotten about breakfasts out at the old house, when I was 5.
After that, I decided I needed to get serious, and just recapitulate every word in a dictionary.
But being lazy, I got a small dictionary.
I went through half the words in that dictionary, before I found my recap would halt in the middle, and I'd be staring down a portal to another world.
That distracted me, and I decided my recap was good enough for now, and I needed to concentrate on that portal to another world.
This is important to remember. Even if you assemble another world while practicing in a group of sorcerers, you'll walk away thinking you just made it up, by being too obsessive, and having too big of an imagination.
It's never enough. That's the fliers mind. It's always trying to convince you, it's much better in the chicken coop.
Intending is never foolish. That's why Carlos liked poetry.
The people who wrote those poems were surely big assholes, but they escaped being an asshole for an instant when they wrote the poem.
If there's a God generated by the intent of all religious people, it's fundamental to our makeup. At the bottom most level of our being, it's our justification for how we are.
Is it real? Are the worlds you can build using pure intent real?
Are they real only if someone else can share them with you?
Better to stay out of the religion business, and just treat it as a technology.
| Better to just keep working on the new invention till it's sellable.
Okay, I think if I can just incorporate both bacon and bluetooth I'll have a hit.
| I believe that if there is a 'God' it only exists because of the intent of fools.
| Intending is never foolish. That's why Carlos liked poetry.
Juan Matus used 'average man' and 'fools' interchangeably. I understand God as part of the fliers mind, a lie to create turmoil and self abasement. At this point I understand intent as a force. I am not able to use descriptive adjectives like, good, bad, wise or foolish to understand it. Perhaps as I learn more that will change. I see God as a construct intended by average men/fools who are unaware they have personal power so they have a entity that they can petition that can accomplish anything. I tell myself I am writing this to be clear, but I'm only being defensive.
| If there's a God generated by the intent of all religious people, it's fundamental to our makeup. At the bottom most level of our being, it's our justification for how we are.
This statement confuses me because I don't understand how something I don't think is real can affect me on the bottom most/core of our being. The Easter bunny and Santa Claus didn't do that so why would God?
There is of course a probability that my perceptions are way off, totally incorrect and that is why I ask this question.
I think I'm making some progress on the internal/eternal dialogue. Lately I have been feeling very frustrated. Feeling like I should run away, quit and have even had thoughts of suicide. Seems like something wants me to stop. That makes me feel good:)
The harder I work the more I accomplish.
You will, once you can assemble another world. God is sticky intent. Doesn't matter if you believe it or not. There's a famous quote:
"No one is an atheist, in a fox hole."
Meaning, when you're being bombarded by artillery and there's nothing you can do about it, everyone turns to prayer.
Easter Bunny? I love that. Maybe I'll try to make one that can hop on my bed!
It's probably going to be more fun than the witch's weird duck, mentioned in workshop notes.
About silence: During the course of reaching it, I've observed the following reactions in people:
God won't like this; you'll go to hell.
You'll be lonely without me!
Something's gone wrong, I don't feel so good anymore.
Music keeps flooding my head. It's useless. I'm not good enough.
How the hell will I know if I want vanilla or chocolate ice cream, without thinking about it?
How am I supposed to work and interact with people at my job, if I can't think?
There's more, but you can see the general pattern.
The dark magicians have done a thorough job on us!
Edited twice
The god thing threw me for a loop, but I'll assume we aren't talking about any extant deity. I have never yet prayed to anything and I'm older.
When I think about becoming a sorcerer as a task, it's completely daunting, when I think of it like being in training for the Olympics my mind digests that more easily.
I work with some people, in an entirely different format, but I always appreciate it when they let me know they haven't fallen off the edge of the world, so, I'm doing well and hope you also are.
Carlos never said anything to answer this, one way or the other.
He occasionally went on a rant against the church and the bible, but I suspect that was because of Ellis, or others who he was trying to teach sorcery to, who had run into a common block:
"But if I'm silent inside, God will punish me!"
It's not uncommon. It's part of what's been embedded in us.
The "foreign installation".
So there's no answer for whether God will actually be angry with you over sorcery.
Best thing to do is, stay out of the religion business.
Sorcery is merely the Olympics. You can thank your mom, or whatever God you want, at the awards ceremony.
But first you need to win, before you worry about who gets credit.
On an aside, I suspect that don Juan explained about actually meeting God to Carlos, because he knew that once your assemblage point was loose, if you prayed or got worried about God, you'd end up there eventually.
If Carlos was a Buddhist, it would be flying Buddhas in his room.
(obscure reference to recent comments elsewhere).
Bulletpoint! Focus on this, the now, not what comes after. None of the transcendent stuff happens without mucking through the fields first.
I think I'm having a little success at stopping the repeater. Since I have started quieting 'my' mind I have gone from being a very happy, loving, tolerant person to an annoyed, doubtful not happy person. I guess a battles just aren't fun until you win them. I did call intent a couple of times.
I try to explain my behavior to a few of my close friends by telling them I am deliberately trying to lose my mind. (interesting conversations)
About recap. I ran across a text in a 'Casteneda' folder I have on my computer that said to write 5 lists..pets, places I lived, sex partners, jobs and people I know.
pets are okay, I had 1. Places I lived about 45, I can handle that. Jobs about the same number, no problem.
So I have 2 questions I would like you to answer. (it would really be nice to hear the answers I want but I doubt you'll do that)
1. Are 1 night stands sexual partners? (hoping no emotional involvement make those unnecessary)
the flying buddha reference is what I was thinking, thanks.
Hope the holiday was okay and the new year is good.
I really do appreciate your being here. (never had a cheerleader before)
Whatever “personality” you had, before you started learning to be silent, will be lessened.
When don Juan describes how sorcerers see everything happening around them, but no one looking at them would realize that, he’s absolutely right.
If you learn to get silent, you’ll discover it too. It is in fact one of the best “proofs” you can have, as you practice sorcery.
Something so minor sounding, turns out to be a big deal. You become a witness with far stronger senses, and no opinions in your head, to mess up your interpretation of what you perceive.
You start to perceive things you ignored before. That motivates you to be even more “passive”.
In some cases that’s obviously a good thing. I had a very angry student, who’s not that way anymore because he’s mostly silent during the day. He comments on how surprising the transition is. He finally realized, he wasn’t angry, he was afraid of other people.
In your case, you were at the other extreme, but are moving back to the middle. And stirring up a lot of stuff that’s behind the internal dialogue. Maybe that makes you grumpy?
Dreaming CERTAINLY can make you grumpy. But it’s still worth it not to lose a third of your time to unconsciousness.
Don’t forget to point out, all meditation systems agree that what you’re doing produces enlightenment. They just don’t like to explain it that clearly most of the time. It’s not good for donations.
You mean, do worms really get embedded in women, as a result of sex, and it takes 7 years to get rid of them?
I can’t answer that. I’ve seen the worms, but only once. And if you learn waking dreaming, you quickly realize, what you’re thinking about can easily manifest.
If I had to guess, I’d say that the worms are more like the fliers, than an absolute fact. A metaphor.
Metaphors can manifest as real things, in sorcery. They build up an intent.
On the other hand, it could be literal. I’ll have to wait until I can see that many times.
But I will point out, there was a lot of sex going on in private classes, among the inner circle. I was even invited to have sex with Florinda.
That was of course some kind of pairing off because Carlos was dying. Or maybe it was a stalking maneuver so I’d keep bringing it up everywhere I went.
Perhaps Carlos was tinkering with the collective to mitigate the effects of how he blew up the group.
I’m celibate, so I don’t have any sorcery experience with the effects of sex. My sorcery knowledge wasn’t good enough in times past, when I wasn’t celibate.
But I can say that Cholita’s arrival caused energetic turmoil in me. Men and women form energetic connections just by being around each other. They move each other’s assemblage points.
With Cholita around, I lost my ability to solidify inorganic beings, but gained the ability to intercept dreams.
And no sex is involved there.
Here’s my advice: sex forms relationships, relationships use up all of your spare time, if you also have a full time job.
And you’ll piss someone off, if you manage to salvage a couple of hours each day for yourself alone. You’ll be practicing silence, knowing there’s an angry person nearby.
If you are having results, learning silence and dreaming, and can perceive even a little bit from the second attention, you have enough energy to keep going.
If you can’t, then consider being celibate for a while, to see if it helps. But also, save energy in all ways you can discover.
There are 2 stories regarding recapitulation. One says you make a copy of yourself, and the eagle takes that, and you can sneak away. I’d never heard that before Cholita came along.
The other says that the eagle eats your memories, and in the process of doing that too much energy is released, and you’re destroyed. You can certainly feel that energy release, if you practice waking dreaming.
Whichever is true, you pretty much have to recapitulate anything you can remember at all, even customers.
If you can’t recall much, then it won’t take long to recapitulate them. Maybe just a single head sweep for some.
Also, recapitulation stirs up very deeply buried memories, which disturbs your dreams, and gives you a chance to become lucid.
Eventually recapitulation becomes another version of the second attention. You can literally relive your own life, and once you can do that, tapping into someone else’s becomes possible.
It’s a realm to itself.
I've been celibate the last 11 years. Like drugs and alcohol, I've already had my fair share and a few other peoples too, I don't want anymore. With all 3 things there is always some little price to pay which always ends up being too much in the long run.
Recap is getting better, I'm remembering a surprising amount of detail but no clarity like that from the usher yet. I'm starting to remember snippets from my dreams but I have to discontinue my sleep medication (trazodone) and I am worried about how my sleep pattern will become, so I want to change everything in my life except how I sleep now. I do realise how stupid that is.
Every sorcerer has to overcome 4 enemies, old age being one and usually the last one. For me it's one of the first ones.
I don't need more proof. My double telling me I was a pet, and when I was able to see the nature of the animal I am were enough for me. The fact that recap is working at all and that I can achieve some silence reinforces that I am on a true path, with heart.
I spent a year and a half brainwashing myself with the 4 Agreements. I believe it caused a slight shift in my assemblage point because there was a day where I realised I wasn't the dreamer, but the dream.
The world was amazing this morning, warm temps (upper 20's) with thick, heavy snowfall...a magical blanket of quiet. It made for a wonderful walk.
All I need to do is work like I am out of time and my very existence depends on it. Pragmatically.
Again my gratitude.
Yea, old age is a bitch.
I can't drink 3 bottles of wine in a single night anymore, chain smoke 2 packs, have a 25mg gummy, and still get up at 4AM to practice.
Where are young women when you need them? My last crop all grew up and moved away.
(Trying to counteract the saintly image.)
I probably have a couple of people willing to whack me on the head with a 2x4 to change my level of consciousness but I don't have anyone to whack me on the back to change my level of awareness.
So is that going to be a problem? (I know worry about other shit now)
DJ alluded to CC over several years that his mind wasn't his but it wasn't until near the end that he showed CC he was being eaten alive. I really wish I had more experience with everything sorcery related before I found that out, however it is a good motivator.
Now 'my' mind, which I always felt was the only thing I really had going for me is now my enemy. It now is also every negative thought I have about myself and everything else in addition to issuing the commands to maintain my current perception of reality as the only possible one. (eat 1 more piece of cheesecake, you're so fat now it won't make any difference..we've been munching on you for 65 years, why give a shit now? you never cared before...you're too old...etc.) Like CC said about his father in Active Side, I also never had a chance... until now.
About the saintly image...I just never envisioned the guy who materialises a fairy in a see through 'baby doll' outfit to be wearing a halo. The best I can tell you that your saintly image probably comes from the patience you exhibit in dealing with me and others like me.
Again my thanks.
No it won't. That's what my heightened awareness technique is designed to replace.
Stare at ANYTHING coming from the second attention, and your assemblage point will move towards heightened awareness.
I mean, even something really lame, like a very weak vision of a flower that floats in front of your eyes while forcing silence with them closed. or some abstract matrix of vague lines.
Don't shrug it off! Watch it continuously in silence.
Heightened awareness caused by a Nagual was semi-permanent. It required the Nagual to push it back.
But the kind you make for yourself can last as long as 2 weeks.
Typically only half of the next day.
I can fix that: Carlos made up the fliers for a worthy opponent.
The fliers who lick your awareness are the people around you.
That's just the internal dialogue. Your actual mind will get stronger.
My typing speed has become extraordinary since I forced myself silent all the time.
And my reflexes are amazing. I caught a falling egg with my foot in the grocery store while balancing too many things to move.
My foot just went out for me, and it put the egg in the perfect depression on the top of the shoe.
Daoist masters living in the mountains are said to be peerless fighters, despite having no training at all.
About the sainthood thing. I'm trying to eliminate that upfront, so someone later on doesn't "expose" my bad doings, and taint the stuff I've written.
Yes, I do bad all the time! Especially in foreign countries, where it "can't be helped".
Except that Carlos made me celibate...
SO ALL THE REFERENCES BY DJ TO CC ABOUT A FOREIGN INSTALLATION AND THE EXPERIENCE IN ACTIVE SIDE WHERE THE FLYER FLEW 50 FEET TO LAND IN FRONT OF THEM WAS MADE UP.
[ I can fix that: Carlos made up the fliers for a worthy opponent.
THAT WOULD FIX IT BY MY BELIEVING IT. WHETHER IT WAS TRUE OR NOT.
SO PLEASE FORGIVE BUT I MUST ASK IF THAT IS REALLY TRUE, I HAVE NO REASON TO THINK YOU WOULD LIE EXCEPT PERHAPS TO MAKE THINGS EASIER FOR ME. PLEASE DON'T BE OFFENDED, I WILL NEVER AGAIN QUESTION WHAT YOU TELL ME, BUT THIS CONTRADICTS WHAT I'VE READ....SO REALLY??
Read this, all of it:
https://www.reddit.com/r/castaneda/comments/bv8dpj/any_hint_on_flyers/
Thank you. I read through it. I forgot this is a public post. I am very new to social media.
I suspect everyone in private classes was thinking it was made up, when he first announced it.
It's a worthy opponent for a group!
I got Cholita, but there aren't enough Cholita's to go around.
He had one of the women hold up a picture she had supposedly taken over the pyramid at Chichen Itza. Or some Mexican pyramid. It's been a long time.
It had a little blob flying over the pyramid. The same photo had already been in use for a UFO television program.
As he explained that the women took that picture themselves, they had an embarrassed look on their faces. It seemed abundantly obvious it was a stalking maneuver.
That's when he first introduced the fliers. Around the time it became obvious, he wasn't going to live.
I doubt anyone else in class saw it any other way at the time. If we had some in here, we could ask them. But you can sort of tell when a crowd of people aren't buying something. They look around to see if anyone else is falling for it.
That everyone is sure of it now, is just a function of it becoming an important marketing component of Cleargreen. I supposed they'd be red faced if the truth got out.
Some former Sunday class members who like to be "experts" even elaborated on the myth, making it so frightening that I had to console 16 year olds for years.
When Ellis wrote her book, she included what Carlos said about the fliers: "Only you Ellis, are intelligent enough to understand this. It's a metaphor!"
But it doesn't contradict what you read, if you read all of Carlos' books!
Did you read about La Catalina, and the trickery surrounding her being Carlos' "enemy".
The purpose of a worthy opponent is to force you to work harder, the way Cholita forces me.
Myself, I've never seen a flier, and I've seen a lot of weird beings.
I have phantoms visit me at work almost daily.
On the other hand, by the time you read of Carlos being shown the flier by don Juan, he was already able to see for at least a decade.
And don Juan had to help him. So if you'd like to believe it's true, you have just as good of a reason as not believing it.
That's also part of the worthy opponent. They really aren't any threat at all, but you can never be sure, even if someone tells you they're friendly.
Cholita would never harm me. I'm her longest male friend.
Except that she might get carried away, and kill me.
Who is Ellis and what book did she write and should I read it?
I've been worried because I didn't have anyway to 'learn' things in the second attention as Castaneda did. No Naqual around to teach me.
I started a dream journal and it seems that I am having discussions about different states of perception while in the dream world. Perhaps no Naqual needed. I'm pretty excited about that. Having a keen eye for the obvious helps:)
Recap is getting better. I still can't visualise faces but I am recalling a lot more detail about the rooms/surroundings of the people I am recapping.
Recap seems to stop the dialogue. I think I am stopping for minutes, not seconds, now.
I just need to work longer and harder....forever
She wrote, "The Sorcerer's Apprentice".
But before you read it, remember that Carlos set that whole thing up. Ellis, and me too.
He enlisted 2 of the writers in his group who would do what they did before they met him, after he was gone.
Minutes is long enough to let the assemblage point move. But something has to pull or push it.
Tensegrity will push it, the second attention will pull it.
Trouble with tensegrity is, if you learned to get silent in a chair, doing the tensegrity will interrupt what you've learned.
It takes 2 hours of silence, to assemble another world.
(just a rough guideline for beginners).
I like to talk. I don't want to bother anyone. I feel like the 3 year old proudly proclaiming I peed in the potty chair, only to be patiently told "Great, next time finish before you pull your pants back up". I clicked on your name, and then ended up clicking a link on your posts on the 4 gates of dreaming. It was like when I read Tales of Power in the 70's. Talk of things not easy to believe. The interactions of the groups, Castaneda and you....well it didn't sound like fun. As for my view of Castaneda, he was certainly educated and wrote so you knew that, or he abused some poor thesaurus. Either way I had to use a dictionary a lot more than normal. I think the greatest act of power ever was done through Castaneda...he brought power into this world in a way never done before, that I have heard of.
I was thinking about what DJ said that men are marvelous magicians able to perceive/create this world when I thought that we/I create this reality and it can be altered....right now...that was followed by 2 jolts in my torso. I've never had any sensations like that ever.
I understand I need a new life. A warrior/sorcerer life, not a hobby or something to work at but a way to live. I think I will go to school, get educated. A little late, I'm 5 years older than you. Start an enterprise to help make the world a better place and pay a few bills too. It seems I have some time now. Get a little balance as I work on gaining knowledge.
After reading some of your posts I have the feeling you like to chat. Perhaps electronic communication is easier for you.
I've never been a social person before. I was a misanthrope. But great apes are social animals and I enjoy the feeling of connection I get from you. I understand you made a promise to look after the guppies and I am glad to help you do that. Again thanks.
I do hope you find Cholita.
You were with Castaneda a long time. You met him at 9 and then again much later?
Forgive my curiosity.... but most people I have met enjoy talking about themselves. I was talking to a friend about something you had replied to me about here. I referred to you as some online mentor guy in California who supposedly went to some of Castaneda's classes. (not really a drum roll worthy build up - I'm not an overly revealing soft of chap) Recently it's hit me to be some incredible sort of odds that I have connected to someone who intimately knew a guy whose books enthralled me in the 1970's and came back at me full force 50 years later - with a lot more stories. I was fascinated by him and his world, the people in it, but most especially Don Juan. Castaneda had him speak directly to me. I always wanted to be in that world (how unusual) but now through you I literally am. I'm kinda awestruck.... You got stories to tell and you KNOW shit.
I got a lot of questions but not tonight.. Thanks
I'm having to check hospitals and car impounds now. Turns out that rental car companies don't track locations.
I find that surprising. Very. How on Earth would they locate their merchandise? I think it's more likely they simply told you that, because it's not their policy to give out that info. How do they know you're not a abusive husband or something.
You could hire a private investigator, they have resources/licenses that allow them to open doors to some info the public can't. At least I think they do.
The guy on the phone told me they could locate it and go ask at the rental office.
It was the women at the rental office who said no, when I went to ask for the location.
So I suspect you're right. They have to be able to track it, but they have to tell the public they can't.
I'll do a little research.
I appreciated the further/alternate explanation of recapping as working on filling in a map. I decided to quit trying so hard to accomplish something and have decided instead to do a very leisurely 'paint by numbers' approach to filling in my map - random brush stroke by brush stroke. I imagine at some point it will start to look like something. I'm surprised that I can't seem to picture peoples faces in my minds eye but details of surroundings, rooms etc. are improving.
I will switch working on silence from in my chair to Tensegrity movements. I have no idea how that's going to look but I'm sure I can figure it out....maybe.
As I'm doing my 'recap' and perusing my life it is full of stories, events that happened to me but it's like they are stories about things that happened to me not stories about me. I'm glad I don't have to make sense here.
Thoughts are still coalescing in my mind, swirling beliefs and perhaps snippets of knowledge seem to make some things more apparent. A few threads here and there.
Very glad to hear Cholita is found. I thought you might be preoccupied for awhile. Just staying in touch.
You have no idea! If you do a very good recap, your life will be in front of you, like a cobweb or matrix. You'll palpably be able to feel your whole history.
What you're likely feeling is the inside of the luminous shell, but I didn't have the courage to ask Carlos about it while he was still around.
And, recap will turbocharge your daydreaming ability. Most adults have forgotten how to daydream, but small children playing with toys go into waking dreaming all the time.
Tensegrity in silence? The movements, especially the long forms, are supposed to help, because you're having to concentrate.
I found it a handicap, but Carlos designed it so it must be effective for people who aren't as lazy as me.
I'd suggest it only as an aide. Ideally have a fully dark room where you can walk around. When you first get up to practice silence in the middle of the night (3AM-5AM best), you'll be dreading it most days. And it'll be pitch black, so you'll be doubly depressed.
Then do a few tensegrity movements while silent, scoop energy into your second attention's assemblage point while wiggling the fingers, and suddenly some colors will start to manifest.
It's like a boost at the start. But trying to use it entirely to get silent, I have no idea how that'll work out.
I just know, no one who follows cleargreen ever learned to get silent.
Yea, Cholita came home. Then, some idiot gave her $1950 for a sculpture she made.
It's not good for Cholita to get too much money.
So I got a call at 11AM saying she was having trouble boarding Metrolink.
We ended up driving 100 miles trying to fix her problem. She wanted to flee somewhere again.
Turns out they put a hold on her money, so I helped her with a bit until that clears.
I got smacked on the face hard enough to get a black eye. She blamed me for controlling the banks, to keep her prisoner. It's always bad to put Cholita too near a bank.
10 minutes later, she couldn't recall smacking me.
But she put in a very amusing show for a bar tender she liked, at Union Station. I tried to get her to move something on the table for him, but she claims she can't remember doing that.
He knew she was insane just by talking to her, but once I asked her to move something on the table, you can be sure he figured we're both mad.
The dark magicians have done a number on everyone.
Think about it. Or as Carlos often said, "Really do! Seriously consider it!!"
If Cholita can do magic, there must be at least more than a handful of people in the world who can too.
So the dark magicians put blinders up, to stop the leaks.
Not only have they convinced everyone that life can only go one miserable way, and magic is a delusion, but if the few people who might be able to clear up that misconception try, they're punished.
When I saw Cholita move that dim sum plate, I had to fight myself not to just forget I saw it.
I saw 5 other objects move, and each time, I had to fight my minds desire to "shake it off".
That's why we HAVE to follow intent. We can't even trust our own minds.
That's what did in Carlos' apprentices. Their own minds diminished the good results they got in Carlos classes, and then they turned to bitterness and forgot most of what had really happened.
Edited twice
I do have some questions. One question might negate asking others. I have noticed mention of a PDF file that seems to be a searchable index, a good source for easily looking up information...I believe. If so is it something I can somehow download?
I got it from someone else, twice.
There are 2 versions of it. The name of the one I got from this country is, "carlos-castaneda-all-books-in-one.pdf".
Try googling that? Otherwise, whoever sent it to me might send it to you.
It is of course, a serious violation of copyright. But if you own all the books, it could be considered a "back up" copy.
That's a murky area of the law. You're allowed to rip your CDs.
Finding it on Google was very easy. I should have figured that out myself...oh well. I have bought more than one copy of the books.
I have come to realise that I need to slow down. I've only been at this for four months and I'm expecting results...and I have had some, but I need to concentrate on my body for awhile. It's in bad shape. I've been telling myself I'd get around to that but what I was really saying is that I'm not going to do that now. Indolence.
Two things I think I've learned. My body has a lot more to do with accomplishing things than I had previously thought. It's an absolutely vital key that I have no idea of it's importance or what it can do. Kind of like it holds all these secrets.
Second is that if my body is not in good condition this could literally kill me. I was sitting in my bathroom, 10 steps from my bed, when I became very light headed, not dizzy, but doubtful if I could make it to my bed, (never had that happen before ever) I laid down and had a pop in my back and something came into my head, a piece of knowing that unraveled into words that my assemblage point had shifted. I thought I might be dying (I'm old) rapid breath and sweating profusely and I even crapped my self. (Never happened before either) I remembered DJ telling CC to cover his navel area and I think that helped. It must have lasted ten or twenty minutes. That freaked me out some.
I also empathise more with CC when he wrote about needing to get back to normal, everyday life. I spent a week doing nothing and indulging in the world. Not too much but I feel if I am not making progress I am sliding backward.
Just an update. Been enjoying the warm weather, we got 2 degrees above freezing today..14 inches of snow this weekend. (I thought that might make your day sound better)
I had a frightening experience a couple of weeks ago os I've stopped trying to get any results and decided to just work on practicing better and longer. Deep breathing seems a segway into silence. If I can stop listening to the sounds of my breath, or counting them out, or thinking 'in' and 'out' and just focus on breathing I get some quiet. Counting seconds between words also helps extend the time period of quiet. Recap detail is improving some. It's taken me 4 months just to get 'organized' enough to be able to figure out what I need to do.....having a space and time do do things in and a workable format. Just a check in.
I sometimes wonder about learning other things, and wonder if and how that can happen. Corn magic for example, DJ mentioned it and that "every sorcerer knew it". Power objects and other things I probably need not worry about. Not that I need to kill anyone soon, or ever. I guess I should worry more about getting to the campsite rather than what I will do if I get there.
The Wikipedia description of sorcery was definitely written by a black magician.
Cholita's all over that kind of thing. She tries a different spell out on me, just about everytime she returns home and wants something.
Last night I'd settled down to watch Magnum PI reruns in my room. Cholita never goes in there. I heard a knock on the window, coming from outside the house.
Cholita was saying, in a very quite voice, "Dan, open the front door!"
I opened it, and found her standing there looking across the room, with her mouth covered. There was a smell of burnt corn in the room. She said, "Quick, open the other door."
That would be the door to the side of the house. It vents the kitchen.
I looked around, and nothing was obviously burning. But the smell was strong.
Cholita returned into the house with a grin on her face.
I guess she wanted to avoid breathing whatever spell that was, until I absorbed it.
As for your practices, you have the tools now. Just keep carving away.
That's the important thing. To find something, no matter how small, and keep using it to change yourself. If you discover something even cooler along the way, switch to that.
I discovered, through a very minor shift, that I need to get my body in shape.(I thought I was dying maybe)
Adding an aggressive attitude to Passes brought a new level.
I wonder if the Rule is still in effect. Since DJ's lineage, the continuing of the Rule, ended and CC brought the knowledge out in the world does that mean one is on their own, no Naqual needed? Or is there so much to know that's not in the books that a teacher is needed? Just curious...doing okay so far.
No, you can learn it on your own. The simple silence technique will do the job. I have yet another student who writes to me by email, who's so far along now he doesn't need more help.
I get what you're saying about getting the body in shape. My intoxicant load is a bit too high these days, for my physical condition.
Before Cholita came along, I had 1/3rd of the weight machines in the gym maxed out.
But with Cholita around, going to the gym is out of the question.
It's made it much harder to get cool stuff to happen.
I should probably do more tensegrity to fix that.
Yesterday through implication, not accusation, I was rolled up and placed in a category of 'they'...with the lisited attributes of being needy, greedy, a liar, demanading, blaming and bothersome. I re-read the 4th line with the words "no-one and ever". Both words are impossibilities so I assumed it was just venting. If it's personal...just tell me.
Anyway, I stopped doing everything about a month ago. I quit recap, silence and passes and decided to concentrate on my body so I joined the Y and started a regimen there.
Then the lessons started. From the incident where you told me my double was communicating with/to me.
I read a post of yours recently where you talked about how hard it is to 'learn' sorcery. My analogy is that a monk does not learn to be a monk, he becomes a monk. I believe the same is true for a sorcerer...he becomes one. Then it becomes a matter of accomplishment. He either accomplishes little or nothing, or a great deal.
This is my 7th month of my journey. I don't need any more advice at this point.... "Do the work" seems to still be applicable. I have already had all the 'proof' I'll ever need. It IS all up to Power anyway.
I have learned a lot but if I post it it is all just talking about me, me ,me.
You weren't being targeted, but if you felt so, you should consider why.
Carlos did the same. It's inevitable, not planned.
Don Juan got so fed up with some of his apprentices that he sent one of his allies to scare the heck out of them.
The angry basket with teeth comes to mind.
And this is also not targeted at you.
But if you get your feelings hurt too easily, you should go find a me-too nagual to study with.
They try very hard not to offend anyone, so as to keep taking their money.
The longer it takes you to learn, the more cash they can gather.
It's very simple. As long as you have that internal dialogue, you are NOT a good, spiritual, wise person.
You're a frightened child who has nothing, and tries to manipulate all around him, just to get a few more cookies.
It seems to work out peacefully, because we live in a playground of children all in the same boat.
But each and every one of them has a big chip on their shoulder.
The ultimate standard of bad behavior should be the Old Sorcerers, of deep prehistory, carving people up alive with tiny sharp knives.
Thankfully there has been continuous and substantial reforms since then.
The "bad" that people usually talk about nowadays isn't even in the same area code.
If you have to think about an action before deciding if it's bad, it's probably just troublesome or inconvenient for others in some trivial way.
In other words, something that we'd rather not deal with because it would require time and/or resources. Actual bad requires no debate.
Well then, I do a lot of thinking.
Without the internal dialogue, one's acts don't proceed from the need to glorify the ego. As a natural consequence, most "bad" behavior is more akin to a two year olds: trying out and exploring absolutely everything.
This, of course, rubs those who are still ruled by the dialogue the wrong way... because they have motivations that don't jive with society's expectations.
Well, as much as I don't agree with this terminology, the women in Carlos' private classes were very fond of calling sorcery "amoral".
They took pride in it.
And it wasn't just one or two. I had the feeling the witches had a hand in it, the same way they told Cholita, "You just know when you are a witch!"
I got the impression what those private class women really meant was, they're sleeping with inappropriate people and it's ok. And by the way, do you have any interest?
I wanted to grab them, tie their hands, and ask how they feel about amoral now?
Except of course, these days women would possibly suggest we could continue that in a hotel room. I had some offers back when I was still collecting 22 year olds. I was surprised things had gone that direction.
The only place I know where amoral is appropriate, is in the inorganic beings realm, where nothing makes sense the way it does here.
I'm not talking primarily about interactions with people, where there are few absolutes and most everything is grey and over-complicated. We do need rule of law, or we'd have chaotic anarchy...and wouldn't get anything done.
I'm thinking of child-raised-by-wolves, primal behavior, before society begins tinkering. Eating your boogers, splashing in the mud, drawing on the wall, and generally messing with stuff. Monkey level behavior, from mundane to bizarre.
Things that would prompt your mother to say "don't do that, what will the neighbors think!" Accomplished now, also, through hidden camera surveillance and internet shaming.
For people, the golden rule DO UNTO OTHERS AS YOU WOULD HAVE THEM DO UNTO YOU, is really all that's needed.
I guess you're hinting at what stalking can accomplish.
Every single personality trait becomes your enemy when trying to move between worlds.
It's not so much your lack of power that stops you from accomplishing magic.
It's more like, your tendency to always want to get in the last word.
Or your habit of going back to see if you locked the door, when you know for a fact you did.
It's how you constantly play around with your hair. Or crinkle up your shoulders.
It's the glossing you do all day long.
Well, maybe what causes the glossing, not the actual glossing.
Carlos ranted against glossing. It was as if everyone in the class was a glosser, and if they could just cut that out, they'd pay better attention and learn faster.
Actually, when Carlos focused on a specific topic that intensely, there was often a pretty young woman at the heart of it.
As there should be! Women will make mincemeat out of you, if you're a male sorcerer. They're all about shared energy. They manipulate that without any training at all.
Myself, I'm a big fan of glossing.
Stormtroopers love to be on autopilot, as long as the autopilot is efficient.
Anyway, all the little crap your parents and siblings tossed into you, to keep themselves company, is your enemy.
Even recapitulation can't remove the finer details of that, because they're programmed into you at the cerebral level. You might be able to eliminate them from the internal dialogue by going over them again and again, until you have no feelings about them left.
But you still have the habit of clenching your teeth. Or rubbing your nose.
You have to train those to be different, in order to release their grip on you.
Only stalking can do that.
But stalking doesn't have to use up your time. For example, if you drive around delivering food to earn extra cash, there's your perfect time to practice stalking.
Just make sure it isn't actually a vicious trick. Your stalking should cause you to behave in ways you are not accustomed to, so that you relax the grip your personality has on your assemblage point.
It's not a way to make fun of other people, and "trick" them for fun.
You have to trick you.
Elsewhere I posted an inspirational quote to the effect that, the mastery of awareness and intent were 2 of the 3 most important things in sorcery.
But the 3rd was stalking!
You discover that when you try to cross worlds.
Is that what people who have near death experience go through?
"My life flashed before my eyes"
In other cases
What do you think?
I'm thinking it sounds an awful lot like the Eagle, extracting memories at death.
Didn't the Eagle spit out don Juan too?
Something like he was shot, buried, then woke up in the shallow grave.
One thing that's good to realize (but maybe only by learning to do as much magic as possible), is that there's only a few kinds of real magic known to man.
Could be more out there, and the books do imply some unexplored dangerous varities.
But essentially, all religions, magical systems, and "weird but true stories" are using the same few bits of magic humans have access to.
They have different explanations and stories to go along with them.
But that's just added on to make it profitable, after the fact.
So for example, you have a childhood inorganic being. The proverbial "monster in the closet".
Long forgotten.
But when you get older, a friend has some fun drugs in abundance, and they aren't so strong they're a problem.
You try some for a couple of weeks, and suddenly a little blue gnome leaps out from behind your dresser at night, and does a dance for you.
It's really just your childhood IOB, who noticed you can now perceive him while awake, as long as it's dark and you took one of those fun pills.
But you ignore the "took one of those fun pills" part, because the drug is so mild, and you've forgotten you used to have a monster friend visit at night.
And you become obsessed with the blue gnome, to the point that you have nightmares about his home world.
Pretty soon you have an illustrated dictionary of "Gnome World" on Amazon, and when people ask, you explain it's not made up. It's a real place, and Gnomes visit you regularly.
That's where we live. In the river of mud.
Jadey says Carlos always called it "shit" instead of mud.
I finally figured out what Clara meant when she told Taisha "Now is now." (took a while) I finally gave up my medical marijuana because sobriety doesn't happen with an altered mind. I have a spinal cord stimulator which is a small generator, under the skin, with 2 leads placed on the spinal cord to send signals to block the pain. After 2 major surgeries and 28 years of continuous chronic pain I opted for stimulator. I only mention this because 6 weeks ago, after starting all this, I was able to turn off my stimulator. I'm healing, or rather my body is. I promised my body (myself) that I would start to take care of it and heal it with what actions I can take in the here and now. I am not certain which I I am when I am talking to myself. I believe, at this point, that it is my double that intends me. That's a little bit of a mind f*** but it is certainly much better than than not being aware.
On a different track...my recapping seems to wander. I started with my 5th wife and our wedding but ended up doing a major event from when I was 4 years old. Paula, dark curly hair with soft brown eyes. We spent the summer together. (at 4 that's a long time) We had our entire lives planned out. First school, then we'd get big and get jobs and then we'd get married. The summer ended and I didn't see Paula again for 35 years. In the recap I learned 2 things. First I had promised Paula I would always love her. 2nd was the reason I had been through so many women in my adult life was that I was searching for Paula. I had made a promise at 4 years old and kept it. Forgetting that I had made the promise didn't change the promise. Nobody was ever her. That brought up another memory from the same summer which I have thought about a few times over the last 60 years. I had a bright yellow plastic horn with a red bulb you'd squeeze to honk it. It was mounted on the right side of the handle bar of my tricycle. I decided I wanted it to be on the post that mounted into tricycle itself so I slid to the center and then down the post. As soon as I did it I 'knew' I couldn't do it but I'd already done it. It wasn't physically possible to slide that down because the handle bar was a welded T. I guess I just didn't know that at the time. I'm starting to recall a few events here and there that are questionable as to 'How did that ever happen?"
You've mentioned Zuliceia a couple of times. Who is she? I am able to learn about her?
Also I don't recall reading about Casteneda buying a woman a car, just curious what book.
I would appreciate any tips on stopping the internal dialogue, but I do expect to be told to practice more and work harder.
I now know I'm going to make it. It seems to be my fate but it is also the destiny I have chosen. I know it's more than just me involved.
Again my thanks to you. At this point you are the only person in the world I can talk to about things. It helps me, you're teaching me and I really appreciate that. I am starting to look forward to writing here. It helps me.
Mine did the same. Now they're green.
It also fills in missing details for us. For instance, if you perceive a creature from the second attention, perhaps a little blob of lights hanging out on the floor, it'll give it an appearance you can "handle".
You can't pick up a blob of lights (unless you're a fan of Zuleica). But if it takes on a real looking form, you can interact with it according to that form, despite the form being "imaginary".
Or if you do as I do lately, go searching for the intent of dreamers at night, you'll start out seeing their dream as if it was behind bathroom glass. The kind that makes everything fuzzy.
If you watch that in silence, intent makes it real looking. The details start to come into focus, and colors get added. Sounds even.
And even better, if intent puts a bench in your dream, you can actually sit on it.
I mean, you're wide awake in darkness, with your eyes open. It's your bedroom. There's no bench there.
But at some point (and not always), you just realize you can sit on that bench, and participate in that dream rather than merely watch it.
God only knows what's going on in the "real world". I believe don Juan said something like, those details just take care of themselves, on their own.
So there's a REAL mystery here. How can the force that makes things seem "real", also be the external force that listens to requests, and grants them?
Or how can it be an aspect of "the nagual", as you mentioned, when the larger half of ourselves is considered part of the Nagual?
Thank you for the reply. I need all the help I can get. I am not aware of having stopped the world. I have had a few dreams in my life where I knew I traveled somewhere not here. But I have no dreaming control yet. I am just starting to remember small pieces of my dreams. (a small part is a medication I need to discontinue) I have no first hand experience that I can recall of the naqual. You posed a question at the end and the only thing I can conceive at this point is that my little bubble of awareness that exists in the naqual, the part that is dreaming me, seems to want to help me in 'reality' if I seek it. It also seems to long to be united to restore me. So the only thing I can think of is that the force is the dreamer that is dreaming me, or me.
We don't have the answer to that. Carlos died before anyone in class was knowledable enough to ask the important questions.
And the witches went into hiding.
I had a chance to join them. But I didn't understand the choice, so I ended up with Cholita.
She's exploded my dreaming abilities!
I've begun to notice something.
If you get silent all day long, following intent is inevitable.
Our internal dialogue drowns out our best friend, but once it's gone you can notice intent more often.
I guess we're born able to perceive it, but as we get socialized that internal dialogue blocks nearly everything.
Most of what we hear, feel, or sense is blocked by our own petty voice in our head. Poor baby me, Taisha or Flo used to call it. I'm not sure which one. Could have been Carol too.
Intent doesn't stand a chance of getting past that selfish tyrant.
So follow intent, but it's much easier when you are silent all day long.
Or most of the day, because the internal dialogue does have it's uses, and it tends to linger after you needed it.
Internal dialogue is not "ego".
It's not your bad behavior.
It's not the habits you wish you didn't have, or some other judgemental/religious concept.
One out of 20 who ask for my advice and I tell them to learn to shut off the internal dialogue, are very confused about what it is.
We posted a quote from Krishnamurti; he did a really good job of explaining it.
If you believe you can shut it off for 30 seconds, and you're a beginner, you have the wrong idea about what it is.
Even if you think you can handle 10 seconds, I'd be skeptical.
And if you don't know how long you can go without a word, then you never tried it, even if you think you can shut it off.
If the internal dialogue is a gigantic mountain, the Buddhist concept of ego is a pile of bear poop on the top.
Cleaning up the smelly bear poop is NOT the same as shutting off the internal dialogue.
I don't know why, but most Buddhism or Hindu Meditation practitioners never become clear on what they're doing.
They're just altering the internal dialogue.
It would be much better for them if they just shut it off, and took a look around.
(This was written for 2 specific people, sorry if it seems a tiny bit off topic).
I don't know if I have captured Intent, but here's something I did yesterday. I went for a walk in the early afternoon. I tried to keep my thoughts silent, which never seems to last long. Keeping my eyes on the horizon, maybe 1/4 of the time I remembered to use my peripheral vision to take in my surroundings. The peripheral vision attention did seem to occupy the brain some to keep word arising.
I walked without a plan or destination. When I came to approach an intersection I tried to relax and feel which direction Intent pushed me to go.
EDIT...
OH! And another thing.
I've begun to notice sometimes feeling a push (not on my physical body) from some trees as I walk by. Feels like the front of a sound wave passing through me.
But it could just be imagining it. How do we know what we are feeling vs. what we are imagining what we've read about. I recall some of CCs associates were frightened by a tree, I came down to trees can move your focal point and some are so controlling that they react negatively by their point being move by something/someone else.
That's gonna work in the long run. I didn't go that path, but it's because I'd rather sit on a bed, than have to walk around.
And that gives me a prejudice, which I'll express here.
That method works because it distracts the mind, and the second attention can come out. It doesn't come out enough to be satisfying, but it does come out, and if you keep watching the blur, your assemblage point will drift a bit. The walking also releases some energy (any movement of the body can).
But the main benefit of that (here's my prejudice), is to get you familiar with the internal dialogue. Once you're familiar with it, it'll be much more profitable sitting on pillows on your bed, in darkness.
If I had thought it personal I would have not posted again. I asked for clarity.
I work with a lot of people in recovery, I understand the frustrations of trying to help. The why do I even try moments.
I appreciate your time and input.
Carlos got called a fake at the end, by his very followers.
The worst were the ones who got "corrected" by Carlos.
I used to have a Kung Fu teacher who would hit me with a bamboo sword.
At the time I thought, "What a bastard!"
But actually, it seems to do less damage to the student than explaining what the problem was.
My take is that Knowledge has been in the world a long time, mostly hidden. Power ended DJ's lineage. Carlos brought Knowledge to the entire world. Big act of Power. I imagine Carlos chose to indulge in this world...that's what it's here for. What man alive wouldn't want to have been Carlos...rich, famous, idolized, a sorcerer always surrounded by beautiful women. A lot of envy and jealousy out there. I always figure out of every 1,000 people 1 is not a black magician.
I can verify now, that beautiful women stir up energy.
If you take it as all sexual, it's not useful. You'll fall into the sink hole of a one on one relationship.
But if you assume they can do magic that you can't, then it's beneficial.
I'll dare to add here (and hopefully restrain myself from bringing it up too much), that male sorcerers can utilize women to do things, even if the women can't do them on their own.
You intend what you want, hint at it to them, then forget about it. Put them out there, and see what happens. Maybe that's what Carlos was doing with Carol in private class, when she pushed me into that tunnel.
I was experimenting with cobwebs last night, to find out if you could use those alone to move the assemblage point.
Meaning, instead of looking for colors in darkness, feel around for cobwebs.
Every time I found some strong ones, and tried to follow them with my hand, Cholita, in the other room, sighed.
It was horribly spooky. I have no idea what she was doing in her room, but just her voice making odd sounds moved my assemblage point enough to produce fright. When I was tingling all over, she began to laugh, maniacally.
A long time ago I was teaching Cholita to follow cobwebs at the beach. It stretches on very far at night, with no one around. So you can do wacky things like follow invisible threads for long distances.
Cholita was skeptical. Or at least, she didn't want to give me the satisfaction of doing something together.
But her assemblage point did in fact shift, as is obvious with Cholita.
When she isn't trying to murder you, it's moved.
We ended up far away. At one point I turned around, and there was a strange group of people sitting on the sand. They appeared to be practicing shamanism in some form.
They didn't seem to be bothered by us, but Cholita got so angry they had violated our space, that we had to leave for fear she'd attack them.
I really wish now that I'd investigated them.
A couple of questions..
I read some of your other posts and it seems you are trying to put together a group of 16 people as stated in the rule...so is the rule still in effect? If that's the case, and as you said I can learn all on my own, does a solitary sorcerer have the ability to do 'the fire from within' by himself... if he has done what is needed. (I know it's not something to worry about now, but I am curious)
Might I ask how long it took you to 'see', to stop your internal dialogue?
I'm re-reading the books and in Teachings it very clearly states you need an ally. I can order Psilocybe Mexicana which I 'think' is one of the ingredients in 'little' smoke. I am nowhere near ready for an ally yet. I am wondering if the mental 'shock' might help me. I learned, from a minor shift of my AP, that a part of me holds onto this world as if not to was to die. Ironic that now, the very thing I am working to learn, moving the AP, is so abhorrent to me. (I understand my rational mind will do everything it can to stop me)
An experience happened that was unreal. For some unknown reason I spent a lot of time thinking about silent Knowledge, as DJ called it, moving to an area of concern and finally to man the engineer. I spent a lot of time wondering how man, before he had language, thoughts, survived. I was taking a shower and I was suddenly looking at a great ape, from a time period when we first learned language. I mentioned it in a prior post. The creature was very high energy, extremely animated and very much in the moment. It's fur was short and reddish blonde in color. It was very weird to see the difference between that creature and myself. I was wondering how we had changed so drastically over time and then I 'heard' "we behaved".
It took a while to wonder how I had seen that, something from the past.
Time and space exist in this world/universe. The only answer that makes any sense is that my double showed it to me. It answered a question I had not even asked.
No, definitely not. That's probably over. The lineage of sorcerer's that is.
You need a double being for that, and likely also need an older double being, to help that one.
It's just not possible to teach that way anymore.
Instead, everyone has to work hard on their own.
We can't pretend that Carlos learned that way, so we can still follow the whole lineage model. I mean, as a result of being part of a lineage.
He didn't.
He was pushed into heightened awareness, and learned there. He was tricked into learning.
We have no one to push us into heightened awareness, so I emphasize that technique to do just that. Zuleica’s technique.
I'm trying to teach enough people to do actual magic, that the detractors have nothing left to say.
Just me and Cholita won't do it.
So I like to say I need 10 dreamers, just because that sounds cool, and like it would be enough so that no one could say they were all delusional.
Fire from within?
Forget all that stuff I you want to have a chance. I suspect worrying about that is just flattery of the ego.
Not wanting to learn sorcery if you can’t do that, would be like giving up basketball, just because the coach turns out to like little boys.
You have to like basketball, or you won’t learn it. You don’t want to get too obsessed with the prayers before the game.
How long to stop my internal dialogue?
I still haven’t.
But perhaps around 10 years, with no encouragement other than Carlos’ books, before I could get weird things to happen.
45 years before I could get impossible things to happen.
But you don’t have to worry about that. Worrying about it means, you haven’t even started to try.
That’s the worst part about trying to help people directly. They just talk, and think about talking, but never actually practice enough to make any reasonable commitment.
They’re always wanting reassurance it’s going to be worth their effort.
That’s why it can take 45 years. If you put in the effort, a few months is possible. I just don’t know if you’d break into pieces, having not done a recapitulation first.
You have no understanding of the books. Finish reading them. You’re way off base.
That’s the biggest mystery. How we got so stupid.
Was it an outside influence?
Or maybe angry witches are just too much trouble, so we got rid of magic in general.
Thank you. My impression about behaving was that it was forced. That was an emotional comprehension.
I wasn't saying that I didn't want to do this, it was just a comment about how my internal dialogue keeps telling me things like "you're better off just shooting yourself than trying to do this".
I also appreciated the picture you posted of Don Juan and Carlos. It kind of puts how 'fun' everything will be in perspective.
Creepy is more like it.
Definitely not something you’d like to be your only experience, if you were doing this solo.
Which you pretty much have to. So give up on the replacement family, which might be one of your hidden motivations.
If you really have an interest in sorcery, it has to be for the sorcery. Not the other things.
And Sorcery is not cozy.
But once in a while, wowser mouser!
Carlos liked to say that.
Lately I've been "finding" objects that have actual energy of their own.
I'll be summoning things using intent.
Translation: I have no idea why they show up!
Once in a while, looking at something that just materialized in front of me pulls my assemblage point rapidly. It really stands out when that happens.
Imagine standing on a platform charged by a huge Van Dee Graph generator. The kind they use for science demos, where a kid’s hair stands up straight from the electricity.
And when your hair stands up like that, typically you get goosebumps.
Combine those feelings with an intense rush of bliss, so strong that it's pretty close to what sex feels like.
Without being sexual at all.
The object starts to glow like a rainbow, giving off lines of yellow light, and I know if I just keep gazing at it I'll be happy.
Maybe even permanently.
Most objects you gaze at in darkness, which just manifested there by themselves, are "empty".
You can see that there's nothing in there. They might give off a feeling of being alive. And maybe they are.
But they're "empty".
These objects are not. I've only seen 3 as far as I can remember.
Yesterday it was some kind of scroll, or long hand lamp. You held it in your hand, and it "Illuminated" things.
I knew precisely what it was at the time, but now it escapes me.
I didn’t bother to voice what it was, which would have helped me now.
So "thumbs up" might also extend to, make a mental note of objects you see.
If you run into something that would normally be indescribable, describe it.
At the time, I just accepted what it was. Now it's lost.
It was sitting on a shelf somewhere.
I'd been looking for rooms to travel to, still hoping to get back to my living room so I could move there in my dreaming double.
It turns out, you can summon rooms if you like, just as easily as summoning people or dreams.
Instead of finding my living room, it seems I’d found someone's shelving system.
It was painted white, but otherwise reminded me of the huge wall shelf/entertainment units they like to install in Russian apartments.
They’ll cover nearly an entire wall with a shelf system, complete with glass door cabinets, and places to put the old VCR.
Yea, it’s been that long since I was in Russia. VCRs were still in use back then.
Besides giving lots of useful places to put things, the wall units also insulate against the cold coming from the outside. Just about every Russian apartment I’ve seen, has a wall facing the outside. Everyone has to suffer, it's communism.
Russians also like to hang carpets on the walls. And complain about when the heat will be turned on.
On that shelf system, in some unknown person's living room, there was a magical object.
D